There's a common misconception that cats are highly independent and rather aloof, but often the ways cats show affection are misinterpreted. While it's true that our feline friends may not possess the same eagerness as our canine companions, they form very deep bonds with their chosen humans and are always finding ways to show their affection.
Cat communication may seem complex, but it’s easier to decipher than you might think. Because they can't simply say 'I love you' like we can, cats need to find other ways to let us know just how much they care — once you know what these are, you'll be completely fluent in cat love lingo.
It may be something as casual as dropping one of the best interactive cat toys at your feet in the hope you'll pick up on their signal that they want to play and spend time with you. Or it might be a sweet head butt, lick or slow blink.
However, if your kitty chooses to communicate with you, know that they're constantly using all the tools available to them to show you how much they adore you. Don't believe me? Read on for a huge list of the ways cats show affection.
1. Grooming you
Does your cat make it their mission to keep you clean? If so, consider it a sign of love. One of the many strange things that cats do that are actually quite normal, licking you is their way of showing affection. Cats groom each other to form bonds and when they do this with their humans, it’s a sign they’ve accepted you into their tribe.
2. Sleeping on your lap
When it comes to ways to bond with your cat, there’s nothing quite as satisfying as having them curl up on your lap. While not all cat breeds show their affection by cuddling, cuddly lap cat breeds will likely have this act as their number one love language.
3. Greeting you at the door
If your cat greets you at the door, consider yourself very loved indeed. While we often think of cats as being aloof and independent, most cats bond very deeply with their owners and are happy to see them when they return home. Running to greet you is one of the ways our feline friends express just how much we mean to them.
4. Following you around
Some cats are just complete velcro kitties — yes, we’re looking at you, Miss Siamese! These high-maintenance cat breeds can’t imagine being separated from their humans or missing out on any of the activities going on around the home. While it’s not always ideal to trip over a cat when you’ve just pulled dinner out of the oven and are trying to get it to the table in one piece, consider it your fur friend’s way of saying ‘I love you’.
5. Kneading you
Kneading (also known rather adorably as ‘making biscuits’) is a key sign of affection and is wonderfully relaxing for both cat and human — as long as you have a blanket over your lap that is because let’s face it, kitty claws are sharp! As well as being a way to show affection, cats will also knead when they feel content or when they’re trying to soothe themselves.
6. Purring
When a cat purrs, they’re saying that they feel safe and relaxed in your presence. Purring will often happen during times of close contact, such as when you’re petting or grooming your feline friend. One of the loudest ways cats show their love, purring isn’t just good for cats, listening to it can help us humans feel calmer, too.
7. The slow blink
When a cat closes their eyes (even briefly) in your presence, they’re putting themselves in a vulnerable position, so take the slow blink as a massive sign of trust. One of the best things about the slow blink is that it can be returned, creating a special way that you and your fur friend can express your love for one another.
8. Meowing
When it comes to the cat breeds with the biggest meows, the Siamese, Burmese, and Sphynx are at the top of the list. But regardless of what breed your feline friend is, almost all cats will meow when they’re in the presence of their favorite humans as a way of communicating with them. While it’s true that a cat will sometimes meow to demand that their food bowl is refilled, more often than not cats meow as a way of expressing affection — or to insist that you stroke them this very second!
9. Will let you pet them
Believe it or not, cats don’t just let any old person pet them, they’re actually very particular about who they let touch them. Your cat lets you pet them because they feel confident and secure in your presence and because that ear scratch just feels so darn good!
10. Head butts you
Cats are very territorial creatures and one of the ways they mark what’s theirs is by using the scent glands on their head and cheeks. If your kitty is head-butting you, take it as a compliment — they’re letting the world know that you belong to them.
11. Doesn't bite you
Why does my cat bite me is a common question amongst pet parents, but we often don’t pay as much attention to what it means when our feline friends don’t bite us. Your cat not biting you is a huge sign of affection that signals they feel able to let their guard down with you. Consider the lack of biting as a good indicator your kitty feels comfortable in your presence.
12. Does bite you
Just as not biting you can be a sign of affection, so too can biting! While it’s not the nicest feeling to have your kitty suddenly sink their teeth into you, cat play biting is one of the ways our cats communicate with us and they’ll often use gentle nips to get us to join in with their game. Gentle biting may also be used as a way to initiate an interaction and get your attention.
13. Shows you their belly
If your cat flops down on the floor and exposes their belly to you, it’s a huge sign of trust. Like a lot of animals, cats won’t show their belly to just anyone as this makes them vulnerable to being attacked, so if they are giving you some belly love, they’re communicating that they feel safe and at ease around you.
14. Rubbing up against you
Yes, it’s possible that they just want their bowl refilled with some of the best cat food, but rubbing up against you doesn’t always have an ulterior motive! Also known rather sweetly as ‘bunting’, cats will affectionately rub up against people they identify as a friends.
15. Lets you live in the same house as them
When you first hear that letting you live in the same house as them is one of the big ways your cat shows their affection for you, you can’t help but laugh — until you realize it’s true! Those of us who have a feline friend (or two) know that it’s really them who run the show, they’re just kind enough to let us think we’re in charge.
16. Sitting next to you
Does your cat love to sit next to you when you’re working or watching a movie? If so, consider yourself deeply loved. A cat who chooses to be close to you is expressing just how much you mean to them but don’t be offended if they don’t want to snuggle up into your lap. Some cat breeds have lots of fur which means they get hot quickly, while others simply want to be close to your warmth and scent without being too close.
17. Demanding attention
Is my cat bored? If they’re demanding attention, it’s well worth considering whether your kitty is getting enough mental and physical stimulation. However, if you know they get plenty of playtime and they’re still demanding your focus, it could well be because they simply enjoy spending time with you. Although they can be annoying, attention-seeking behaviors are often your cat's way of letting you know they adore you.
18. Tail shaped like a question mark
Ever wondered what your cat’s tail is telling you? It could well be saying I love you! A question mark tail (one that’s up and curled at the end) is a sign of a very happy kitty and our feline friends will often use it as a way of inviting us to interact with them. Not only is this a signal of their affection for you, but it’s also typically used when they’re keen to receive affection.
19. Rolling over
If the first thing your cat does when you walk in the door is flop on the floor and roll over, they’re definitely excited to have you home. When a cat rolls around on their back, they’re signaling they feel safe and would love to have your attention. Just a note of caution — rolling around on their back can also be an invitation to play, so do think carefully before giving them a belly rub!
20. Letting you brush them
Cats groom each other as a way to form bonds and show affection. When they extend this behavior to humans (and let you brush and groom them in return) it’s their way of saying that they consider you to be one of their own.
21. Unwavering eye contact
On the whole, cats typically find eye contact with strangers (fellow cats and humans alike) to be very threatening but if you find your kitty looking at you with a soft and relaxed gaze, that’s a huge sign of affection.
22. Offering emotional support
When it comes to the best emotional support animal breeds, it’s often dogs that spring to mind, but don’t discount cats! Although cats are often viewed as aloof, most bond very deeply with their human family, and sensitive felines in particular are able to sense their owner's mood. If you’re feeling sad and you suddenly find your kitty sitting beside you, that’s their way of letting you know they care.
23. Sulking
Do cats hold grudges? Well, not quite in the same way we humans do but they can certainly sulk when you've done something to upset them. You're probably wondering how this could possibly be a sign of affection, but remember — we don't tend to get upset by people we don't care about, it's those that we love who are the most likely to hurt us. The same is true for our feline friends.
24. Jealousy
Ever found yourself thinking 'Do cats feel jealousy?' Although jealousy in cats is different from the jealousy we feel, it's clear that cats are highly territorial creatures and can feel very possessive about their humans. In a roundabout way, your cat acting this out (likely through unwanted behaviors!) is their way of communicating how important you are to them.
25. Pawing you
If you've ever been woken up at 4 am by your cat pawing at you demanding breakfast, you don't need us to tell you how annoying that can be! But cats will also paw their humans for other reasons, too — namely as an affectionate gesture designed to get you to send a little love their way.
26. Wanting to share your bed
When it comes to activities to do with your cat, nothing beats a cat nap! While some cats will snuggle in close, others will be content to lie at the end of the bed — either way, a joint snooze session is definitely a way of showing affection.
27. "Helping" you work
Have you ever been sitting in an online meeting or in the middle of putting together a presentation only to have your kitty walk over your keyboard — or worse still for your productivity, sprawl themselves across it? Even though it may feel exasperating in the moment, try to reframe things in your mind. Your feline friend simply wants to be involved in everything you do and likely thinks they're being helpful!
28. Nursing you when you're sick
Cats seem to have a sense of when their humans are feeling unwell and if their favorite person is laid up on the couch or has taken to their bed with a cold or the flu, they'll often camp out beside them until they're feeling better. We can't promise they'll bring you chicken soup, but they'll definitely bring you a whole lot of love.
29. Bringing you a gift
Why does my cat bring me toys and other gifts like dead animals we hear you ask, well, it's likely their way of showing you how much you mean to them. Unlike us, they can't pop to the store and pick their loved ones up a box of chocolate or a bouquet of flowers, so a dead (or heaven forbid, live) mouse or bird is the best way to say I love you.
30. Asking you to play
There's nothing most cats love more than zooming about after one of the best cat toys, and the majority of cats prefer to play with their favorite human than play alone. If your kitty is dropping toys at your feet or engaging in other playful behavior, that's their affectionate way of asking you to spend some time with them.
31. Scratching
We know — there's nothing more annoying than having your kitty scratching your furniture to pieces, but it's worth noting that they're not doing it to annoy you. Cats scratch both to keep their claws healthy and to deposit their scent, so if they're scratching around the house, that's their way of marking their territory and letting the world know that you belong to them. If your feline friend is destroying important items, investing in a good quality cat scratching post can help them learn appropriate scratching behavior.
32. Comes to fetch you
If you're a cat owner, you've likely had the experience of being woken up by your feline friend at a completely unsociable hour just because they're bored or have decided they miss you. Waking you during the night is a sign that your kitty has noticed your absence and is seeking comfort and connection.
