Were you ever asked as a child, “Who do you love more, your mom or your dad?” That’s a question many weren’t able to answer back then, and would likely have refrained from answering later as adults.
But some adults have no problem ranking others, even when it comes to their own children. Unsurprisingly, such preferential treatment can result in all sorts of detrimental outcomes, from strained relationships to wounds that might never heal.
On the list below, you will find stories shared by siblings of the “golden children” who, in their parents’ eyes, could do no wrong. The netizens opened up about their experiences and feelings after a member of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community asked them about the time their parents’ favoritism came back to bite them. Scroll down to find their accounts of the aftermath on the list below, but keep in mind that some of the stories can get quite upsetting.
#1
My brother was the golden child. Youngest, only boy that my mother was so desperate to have. And honestly, he’s great. Respectful, kind, happy. He just got married and my mother HATES his wife. So now, after some comments that she really can’t walk back, my mom is low contact with my brother and it’s driving her absolutely insane.
Image credits: AuntieKitKat
#2
My little brother was always treated better. Vacations, hobbies, vehicles, gifts. He was a spoiled brat. I didn't find out til later that my dad wasn't my bio dad. This definitely put things in perspective once I found out.
Growing up, I had a huge gap between my two front teeth. When my adult teeth came in, it got bigger. My parents always said they didn't have the money to fix it. But when my brother wanted to become a bull rider, they suddenly had thousands of dollars for lessons, gear, and travel expenses. I guessed they spent close to $40,000 the first 2 years he was doing it. Meanwhile, I just wanted braces. The cost of the braces was going to be about $2500. He also got a brand new truck when he turned 16. I had gotten a busted up conversion van that barely ran and wasn't safe to drive.
It all bit them in the a*s when my brother got a DUI in Texas. Texas does not f**k around. My parents suddenly couldn't buy his way out of trouble. He did 3 weeks in county jail for it. 6 months after he gets out, he gets pulled over again, and this time gets a DUI, littering, evading police, and hefty speeding ticket. Someone from our city found out and blasted it all over facebook. My parents told me not to talk about it, and boy, did I ignore that. They spent thousands in legal fees, and their reputation was ruined. I laughed in their faces and told them what fun it must be to have such a wonderful child.
Image credits: malitove
#3
My dad depleted his entire retirement fund to bail my brother out of jail and then pay the legal fees to keep him from going to prison. My brother now has nothing to do with them (or anyone but the sibs all cut him off years ago), is currently ducking the law on fraud charges, and my parents are living hand to mouth blaming bros wife for all his issues in life. Because apparently, there is no possible way it could be his fault.
Image credits: Smlovers
#4
I've got a late-in-life-miracle-baby-only-child cousin who has had an interesting time of this.
Wealthy family, long-awaited baby, he was given top of the line consoles and computers from the age of three, a bedroom and a playroom - which was so full of toys by the time he started preschool that his parents had to ask everyone to stop sending him toys as gifts...
... because he was bought a gift _every single time_ they went anywhere. His mom was just incapable of saying no to her little prince. Every trip to the shoe shop or the supermarket was another new toy.
He just never had to do _anything_ that he didn't want to do.
Forget about chores and homework. When he wanted to sit up all night playing WoW and sleep through the school day because he 'didn't feel well' that was fine. His parents would throw money at literally anything he showed any interest in. He played a snowboarding videogame for a while so they bought him full skiing and snowboarding gear and they all flew out to the slopes several times... where he sat in the lodge playing videogames on his laptop. They kitted him out with everything you could dream of for a couple of martial arts, golf, a few musical instruments, probably a bunch of other stuff I never heard about. But he knew he was destined to be a professional gamer, so why would he bother with anything else? Gaming was his ticket to fame and glory.
How did all this play out? it turns out that if you do that through most of your teens... you fail out of school at 16 no matter how unbelievably smart your mom thinks you are.
He's 25 now, still at home, and to the best of my knowledge he still hasn't completed his high school diploma or any equivalent studies. He's never held down a job, and hasn't completed any of the apprenticeships or placements that his parents have organised for him over the years.
His mom still does everything for him, but he's f*****g miserable. He's distraught. He doesn't know anything. He isn't good at anything. He can't _do_ anything. He's got no friends - everyone he was friendly with went off to university, got jobs, are starting to settle down with partners, or travel the world. They're off living their adult lives and he's at home with his mom making his lunch for him every day.
Image credits: butwhatsmyname
#5
My sister was the golden child. She also has mental issues (could function as a perfectly regular adult if they hadn't coddled her so much).
My mom has passed, but she lives with my dad. Recently, she tried to burn his house down, sold his truck, stolen all of his money, and beat the s**t out of him.
I live out of state, so I called APS about her b******t. Called him and told him to let them help him. He just told me, "Well, maybe you're wrong." And told the SUPER sweet APS lady that everything was fine.
I washed my hands of it. I'm expecting a call within the next few years letting me know that she has killed him. The whole family just turns a blind eye to everything she does.
We used to be a really close-knit lower middle-class family. Now everyone is bankrupt and on d***s. I wish I could say I was being dramatic when I say every. Single. Instance. Of these issues can be traced back to my sister.
I gtfo of there and will never go back.
Image credits: BerriesLafontaine
#6
My brother the Golden Child is now a 50 year old unemployed alcoholic. He never finished high school but was considered so much smarter and better looking than th other four of us. Mum blew so much smoke up his a**e he never achieved anything as he didn’t ever think he had to try. Completely poisoned his life.
Image credits: Crass_237
#7
She died in a one car drunk driving accident. She was the drunk driver.
Responsible-Onion860:
This happened to another family at my elementary school. One of my classmate's older brother was the golden child, not just in his family but in the school. One weekend when he was 17, he got drunk and crashed his car, k**ling himself and a passenger and causing a third occupant to be disabled for life (he recently passed away, about 15 years after the crash). Everyone got real quiet about the golden boy, even though the tragedy was very foreseeable and preventable.
Image credits: anon
#8
Husband's sister is the golden child. It bit his father in the a*s when she borrowed $200k to open a business and then became disinterested so it died, they are not wealthy and it f****d them financially for abt 10 years.
Don't worry though, as soon as FIL recovered financially he bought her a house 🤣🤣 because she *can't hold a job*
This life exercise has made super clear that sister will physically be taking care of them as they become feeble though, so win-win as far as we're concerned.
Image credits: EggandSpoon42
#9
Once I got old enough to realize I refused to tolerate it anymore and cut off contact with my mom completely after almost 40 years of her favoring and coddling my older brother. She now has no contact with me, my husband, or her only two grandchildren. My older, 42 year old brother lives with her STILL, and he’s all she has. Cherry on top? He’s just as narcissistic as she is, and only cares about himself. She lost the one child she had that actually cared about her, (me), and now won’t ever see or speak to her grandchildren again. All because she refuses to admit that she’s not perfect, and could have done things differently. Of course I’m the villain though, right?! 🤦♀️.
Image credits: packersfan232
#10
My mother was a narcissist and delusional. She pulled my sister into being the adult of the family by the time she was 12. She had to protect her and listen to all of her crazy stories about how everyone was out to get her. But my sister could do no wrong. She was the perfect golden child of the family. So, she never connected the dots that my mom was seriously mentally ill.
When my mom died, my sister had a nervous breakdown once all of the ongoing stress let off, decided she had lead poisoning from paint and that she was allergic to everything on earth. She got to the point where all she would eat is baby food and had hysterical blindness. She went to 52 different doctors and finally found some quack who charged her over $100,000 for chelation.
My mom had essentially made her a mini-me and she was lost.
Image credits: EmmelineTx
#11
He got arrested for beating up a homeless person. Not his first time beating up a homeless person, just first time a cop saw him do it.
He's a sociopath. But boy is he a good rock climber! And that's all my parents ever cared about this 40 year old trust fund baby.
Image credits: Pitiful_Winner2669
#12
My parents struggled with infertility and miscarriages before finally having my older brother. Their little miracle rainbow baby could do no wrong. My parents bailed him out of every situation he got himself into with absolutely no consequences. My moms reasoning was, he just tunes you out if you yell at him. So they never really disciplined him.
Eventually he bankrupted them. They gave him money to fix every problem and then he'd get himself into another. Stole money from them. My dad cosigned for his truck and my brother stopped paying the loan and it fell to my parents. They got so behind they almost lost their farm.
And me, the other kid. Oh yeah I fixed that for them. Got them out of their financial hole, made sure they didn't lose their farm...the farm they recently wrote into their will that my brother gets when they die.
Image credits: adhdknitter
#13
The golden child is the only one of my mother's children that is speaking to her regularly. He lives in the same city as her while my other sibling and I are thousands of miles away. As her health starts to decline, golden child will be the only one available to help. He likely won't move away because he feels like he can't leave her alone.
I was slated to be her caretaker but that is never happening. Good luck to them!
Image credits: Some_Pilot_7056
#14
My sister became a terrible human being and she is the only one to talk to my mom, mostly for free baby sitting. Before I went no contact with both, my mom was always complaining how mean my sister was to her and my sister would talk about how much she hated my mom. They deserve each other.
Image credits: MythOfLaur
#15
My younger brother was the golden child. I always got treated way worse. He’s doing fine, I think. But it came back to bite them in the a*s when I realized how s****y they treated me and how s****y they still treat me. So I cut them off for my mental health. My nightmares stopped and they don’t have to pretend they give a s**t about me. So a win for both of us I guess. But sadly my mother doesn’t get to have a relationship with her grandchild, which I think bothers her the most.
Image credits: Unhappy_Flamingo4796
#16
My brother is the favourite one because he’s white skinned and more good looking. Typical asian thingy, if you must. I was also slow in development and in middle school, tested my IQ to be 80, so they kind of see me as a shame. I am a very late bloomer. My grandparents and parents prefers him. This is about my grandparents.
Being the more financially successful one while my brother struggles to find a job, I am responsible for putting the meals at the table. It’s somewhat their fault that he’s overly spoiled and lazy. Now, they are very conscious of their bad treatment in my younger days, so they are very careful not to offend me.
Once they pushed to make me send my brother to college so he can get a degree to get a job (I do not have a degree), I told them they can start asking him to pay for their living expenses because I am not shy not leave them homeless. I did so with my mother. She begged me to help her financially because she got dumped with a child by her new husband and I closed the door on her. I honestly have zero attachment to them due to the abuse they did when I was young, including locking me up in a room so I can get better.
They are kind of offish and afraid of me. I know they hate me but they can never say it and they are civil around me. Anytime there is a disagreement, I’ll tell them to get my brother to start supporting them. It’s mostly no argument and they will begrudgingly agree with everything I say even if it’s against what they believe.
Some may say it’s financial abuse. But I am not abusing them. They are always free to leave. I have no obligation to take care of them but that’s what I do. And if they can’t appreciate that, then they can always go to their more favoured child.
#17
I’m adopted older brother is their bio child. They bought him 2 cars, paid for medical school bought him a house. He hasn’t talked to my parents in a decade after his divorce, they have to talk to the ex wife to see the grandkids. Guess how well that goes over? I barely come around anymore for reasons. Not saying they weren’t great parents. Growing up they were wonderful but I was definitely the adopted brown kid. Went to get family photos once, the photographer called me “spot” and they just laughed and laughed.
Image credits: Cumkey23
#18
My brother. Grew up to be a malignant narcissist himself and my mom favoured him and supported his bad behaviour - gave him money and never made him accountable to making good choices. He moved into the home my parents owned and was awful to live with but she never would let my dad kick him out. My mom’s health declined over the last few years and my dad was her main caretaker until his dementia became too progressed and he was placed in a long term care home…. Leaving my mom to rely solely on my brother to take care of her.
It lasted 6 months. She ended up falling and breaking her hip in October because of course he did nothing to help her. She died a month later in the hospital, alone and in pain.
Image credits: heyhermano23
#19
My older brother was the golden child, and not just with my parents but also my grandparents. He got everything he wanted growing up, while I wore hand-me-downs and clothes from yard sales. He went to Disney 3x, the Grand Canyon, and so many cool vacation places. I was never invited. He would get a new 4-wheeler or guitar for Christmas and I’d get used toys from yard sales that were intended for someone much less younger than me. I remember asking for a computer in middle school and receiving one of those little Leap Frog toys instead..
He had some mental issues, what my mother referred to as a chemical imbalance to excuse his behaviors. Choked me until I blacked out on the sidewalk outside our house, kicked down my door, would twist PS controllers and break them if he lost a game to me.
He ended up being held back 3 years in school, made my life in high school a living hell, and thankfully moved out when he was 18. He turned out to be an alcoholic, married a j****e, and I haven’t seen him in years (I didn’t want any part in having his wife around my children). My mom struggles to pay her own bills after paying his. My dad became disabled a few years ago after a stroke while he had Covid, so he’s not working. He was denied benefits because someone claimed unemployment using his identity throughout the pandemic while he was actively working.
My parents have asked me for financial help and I’ve turned them away. We have little to no relationship now. I finally went on my first ever vacation with my children and partner at the age of 35..
#20
My mother was an alcoholic and a narcissist. Growing up, she clearly favoured my brother. Other family members saw it and acknowledged it, she denied it.
Eventually my brother got set up with a good job, my parents bought him a nice car, he met a nice girl etc. Meanwhile my mother got worse, drunk every now and then became drunk every weekend, then every second or third day. As things got worse, she went from emotional to erratic, then finally became outright a*****e. What really stung was that as her alcoholism and mental health issues got worse, she'd still manage to hold it together whenever she was around my brother, she *could* control herself, She just chose not to. He saw through it.
By the time my mother died, my brother had cut her off completely. She'd spent her whole life lifting him up, neglecting everyone else, including herself, and he ended up looking down at her in disgust.
Image credits: -CuriousityBot-
#21
My sibling turned into a grown up a*****e. They never do house work, will not pay rent if they can get away with it, will not clean up to the point where their living area looks like a hoarder lives there- and just says they will get a maid, is entitled to other people’s things and always feels like they’re feelings are the most valuable. They never admit to doing anything, never apologizes, and will cry if you call them out. They have no friends because people just don’t have time to waste on something like that. I’m almost ten years younger and they “mimic” my behavior in public, I confronted them about it and they blamed it on undiagnosed autism and a wide host of excuses.
It’s exhausting for my parents but my sibling hasn’t, and won’t, move out of my parents house. They can’t. They literally can not adult correctly becuse my parents did everything for them growing up. They have homework they’re not doing? My parents would do it. They need to sign up for college and financial aid, my parents did all of it. All of their cars were bought by my parents. Bills overdue, yep my parents paid them off.
My sibling is in her late 30s and she is stuck at a 15 year old mentality.
Image credits: bed_bound_and_sleepy
#22
My sister became an alcoholic and a d**g a****t.I think the moment that really smacked my mom in the face was that when her mom died, she gave me nothing and my sister her pick of the family jewelry because "that kind of stuff means something to your sister." My sister pawned it all, then ran off to be homeless so she could indulge her a*******n without criticism. She has been in and out of prison for the last decade, which was the only time we knew for sure she was alive.
But hey, she's clean now. It will be different this time, my mother assures me, while sending her money and valuables like a laptop and brand new smartphone. I'm sure that's not going to end in tears...
#23
Golden child in my family wasn't a sibling but rather a cousin.
Cousin is 3-4 years older than me. His parents werent great role models for various reasons, so he was in and out of foster care, etc. My parents tried to adopt him, blah blah blah.
When I was 16, his parents dropped him at our door to live with us for several months. While he was with us, he could do no wrong. He would verbally and physically a*****t me, he was on all kinds of d***s, so on so forth.
He never got a high school degree, etc. His entire life, he has blamed his childhood or everyone around him for everything wrong.
Most of my extended family has cut him completely off, except for my dad. Most of us will refuse to go to any family event he is invited to, because he's violent, angry, and d**g-addled. He has tried to end my life.
Last I heard, he was in prison and got himself viciously attacked to the point of hospitalization because he couldn't shut his d**n mouth.
#24
The golden child/scapegoat situation in my family was interesting. I had two cousins who were siblings. One had severe ADHD and often acted out. Their older sibling competed in dance competitions internationally and did very well in school, earning scholarships to this top school. Older kid was the priority with the parents investing in their success while the younger kid was constantly asked “why can’t you be more like Perfect Kid?”
Younger sibling struggled in high school but graduated. After graduation, they flourished. Got a construction job and worked up. Meanwhile, the older sibling graduated college and it took them a year to find a job. Having never faced adversity, this took a mental toll on them, especially when they had to ask the younger sibling for help.
All of us in the extended family could see this coming a mile away. And the favoritism even trickled down the cousins. My grandmother knew I’d also had trouble finding a job after college but told me that my cousin was “fragile” about not finding a job, and then ranted about how someone so perfect couldn’t find one. Meanwhile, the kid everyone yelled at all the time had been working continually since age 18 and became a homeowner in his late 20s.
#25
Mine is the extreme version. Basically I am the by product of my mom's failed second marriage. She filed for divorce right after I was born and honestly she had no business being a mom because she was very mentally ill, just no official diagnosis. My grandparents even tried to get her to give up custody so they could adopt me.
She went on to husband number 3 that would also be husband number 5 later in life. He was my stepdad my whole life and I actually didn't know he wasn't my bio dad until they briefly divorced and my mom screamed at me over it.
They had a son. My mom threw everything into my brother and into trying to be accepted into my step Dad's family. The catch is none of them saw me as anything more than unwanted leftovers from her past. They never wanted me around and made it really f*****g clear I wasn't wanted.
This escalated into my mom neglecting me, and from there it turned into her physically and mentally abusing me. Which opened the door for my stepdad to get away with physically abusing me too. I was made to clean the whole house for them, including their bedrooms and bathrooms.
Meanwhile my little brother is being raised as a prince. His paternal family shower him with gifts and trips. At home he's never punished or yelled at. And my parents never tell him no if he wants something. He's watching how I get treated and starts to join in. At first it's lying to get me in trouble or stealing my things and lying to keep them or breaking my stuff to make me upset. Eventually he gets bigger than me and starts hitting me too.
This whole time I'm not allowed a birthday party, friends, I'm not given regular medical care or dental visits, hell by the time I was in junior high my mom quit buying me clothes or even a tooth brush. I was getting hand me down clothes from friends.
It started to backfire pretty quickly on my parents. My brother thought he was the center of the universe and was used to getting violent when he didn't get his way. He also got into drinking and d***s by the time he was in junior high. He started skipping school. He was arrested for a*****t and d***s. My parents went deep into debt paying his court fees and still buying him whatever he wanted.
I joined the military and got as far away as I could. My brother did not. He had to be a super senior to get his diploma and was living my parents partying and draining their bank accounts well into his 20s. They lost their original house to debt and they were renting a place for awhile. But with no one to clean up after any of them anymore, they got kicked out of their house for being disgusting.
My brother decided he needed greener pastures so he moved hundreds of miles away but still had them paying his bills. He's almost 40 now and that just stopped because my mom died and my stepdad can't afford anything. My stepdad is now alone hundreds of miles from the only kid he ever cared about and no one to help take care of him.
Meanwhile I got married to a great guy 20 years ago and had two awesome kids. We have our own home well away from that mess. I've been in therapy for a few years trying to get over the childhood trauma and I'm doing good.
#26
My brother in law is (still) the golden child. He ended up going to college and getting into hard d***s and failing out. Then he knocked up a lady and everyone is stuck raising his daughter. Their unconditional favoritism of him has given my wife a people pleasing complex.
Just this holiday season, he ‘micro dosed’ the whole week of thanksgiving leaving us responsible for his kid. On Christmas Eve while were wrapping and assembling his daughter’s gifts (and he was getting high upstairs) we had to listen to my wife’s mom tell us how great her brothers been doing lately.
#27
It's hitting the fan right now for my mother. She's been dxed with cancer and the golden child who will have to care for her lives all the way across the country.
#28
I was the golden child, but not in the way you’d expect.
I was doted on because of my looks, and my mom would pimp me out to TV stations or modeling agencies at a shot to becoming famous and escaping poverty in the Philippines. This went on for YEARS of my childhood. This backfired and I’m now a huge punk/tomboy. My sister resented me for it so she turned to her studies as a way to get my mom’s attention.
And guess what? Now *she’s* the golden child. Good career, great husband, lots of money to shower. I’m living an incredibly simple life, living it on my own terms, and she takes any opportunity she can get to criticize what I do under the guise of me possibly hurting our mom. Did I turn out f****d up? Maybe, yeah. I stay home, smoke weed, play video games, get tattoos. But I never want to hurt anybody, ever. Funny how me reclaiming my life after years under the microscope still bites me in the a*s.
Image credits: 100percentapplejuice
#29
He turned out truly awful and they are facing some serious consequences in old age.
It was destruction of objects, pathological lying, tormenting and bullying, rage fits, partying and zero rule adherence, DUIs, girls going to their parents crying because he coerced them or worse. Then it was cheating on his spouse with an infant kid, incidents with police, it never stopped in adulthood. Then it was stealing an absolutely absurd amount of cash from my parents by fraud.
The last incident is many decades into this mess. He's gone just about consequence-free the whole time, so he has some trick to manipulating more than just my parents. He should absolutely be facing legal consequences many times over, he still isn't.
Seeing him on a pedestal not just by my parents, but getting away with his blatantly criminal behavior is not nice. He did horrible things to me, things they still don't even believe (or punished me for), which was and is a psychological double whammy.
I swear it's like I'm the only person that can see through his "charm", and he's a f*****g blatant moron. Like... it's sad to the point I feel bad for him. He's shallow, insecure, and truly unintelligent. He can't figure out how a basic budget works, and is trapped in his own impulsivity. He really doesn't have any skills or talents at all other than manipulation, and other than his kid, has produced nothing of value his entire life.
#30
My golden child brother (the only boy in the family, go figure) got everything he wanted growing up, games, consoles, mountain bikes, hockey gear, everything he asked for. He had one chore to do (empty the dishwasher) and if he didn't do it my sisters and I would get yelled at for not "helping" him. He was a selfish a*****e who hoarded all the toys and destroyed our things because he never got any consequences for anything.
He scraped by from high-school, started working as a bartender, got a gambling a*******n, became an alcoholic for a while. Then he had children, got married and is now moving from weird kind of sketchy business idea to another even sketchier one. My parents bail him out every time, just like they did with his gambling debts. But at least he's sober now and the latest sketchy business seems to be doing okay. And his wife is a smart lady so I doubt she'll let him screw over their family so that's something.
#31
Got a few but this one was hard to watch -
the youngest and only male grandchild in the country so spoiled rotten by mom, dad and all the aunts and uncles who only had daughters in a patriarchal culture. The parents convinced him he was god’s gift, gave him all the best, brand name clothes and flashy cars and he started believing it enough that he argued himself out of an awesome job by in a very embarrassing one-way war against a new manager. This was at a global brand, people go to their facilities to tour on international vacation level of company so it was a major set back in his career. Parents were super embarrassed but This sobered him up enough to realize that their advice sucked and he started listening more to others and being more independent. Got enough self confidence and awareness that he found someone very different and unknown to the family to marry and his parents melted down. They were so used to having him in the palm of their hands that they couldn’t take the “competition” and loss of control, didn’t realize they couldn’t insult her and still be a part of his life. They set up a fake wedding to pretend they were still part of his life, he ended up in the hospital from stress, canceled everything the night before and moved to another part of the country with his wife and her family who had embraced him and helped him get back on his feet when he refused the money his parents kept trying to use to get him in line. Parents are like ghosts now after being pretty publicly humiliated (they are all about appearances) and have only been invited to visit once while the other wife’s parents live near and are close to the grandchildren. Their non golden daughter also moved away so they are basically on their own now.
#32
My sis has always treated our mom like she’s the hired help. Insulting. Belittling. Yelling.
My mom was my sisters child care provider for all three kids. I’m not talking occasional baby sitting. I’m talking day care provider. For FREE.
My mom stopped going out with her friends. Stopped taking trips. Stopped seeing her sisters. Because she was the nanny. And my sister would threaten to take the kids away and not let her see them, if mom didn’t follow her instructions exactly. Or if she tried to say no.
How do I know these things? Because I have forever been my moms “bestie” and “therapist”
Hell even after my mom’s husband had a massive stroke. She still took care of the kids. Even after he was ok to be at home. My mom was then taking care of him and two little kids.
She’d call me in tears. Upset over how my sister treated her. Upset over how her husband was treating her, since he had lost any semblance of a filter after his stroke. FFS she was back to watching the kids two weeks after her husband passed. No idea who cared for the kids during those two weeks that my sister granted mom to grieve. But she was driving to my sisters house to care for them. Rain, snow. Early morning late night. There’s my mom. Driving 15 to 29 minutes to care for the kids.
Now that mom is needing help. My BIL has stepped up. I simply f*****g refuse to. Mom paid for my sisters BA and Masters. Shes helped pay medical expenses. She’s told me that sis is her favorite. She provided free childcare. She let my sister verbally abuse her for decades. And I’ve been the bestie. The therapist. Holding her hand. Making suggestions on what she should do to get out of the situation. And being ignored. And she’s been doing this to me since I was a child. No more. F**k that noise.
#33
My parents always had a strong preference for my sister over me. They did their best to pave the way for her success. Even when it was harmful to me. They actually sued me for half of my income at one point because my sister deserved it more than me.
It turns out the symptoms that they believed were evedence of her brilliance were actually symptoms of her mental illnesses. She has been diagnosed with several. She is absolutely a non functional person on her best days a person who didn't know her would instantly know she's not right.
I've essentially gone low contact with my parents I see them on Christmas or Thanksgiving sometimes. I have allowed them to believe I've never been promoted, and I've been renting my house for 20+years.
We ended up at the same Christmas party. They have announced they are retiring soon they are selling their houses and going to Vegas to gamble their life saving away. When they win a couple million they are going to set up my sister and her kids for life. If they loose they plan to move in with me.
After making sure they were serious. I told them they in fact not be setting foot on my property. They would never come live with me.
They told me my landlord has already agreed to let them live there, if I have a problem he will evict me. I told them I don't have a landlord. My mom was caught off guard. Sh told me not to be b***h and split hairs. "I knew she meant my banker had agreed to let them take over my house, by picking up payments".
My dad's youngest brother told them " he had a mortgage burning party like 15 years ago." ( I had an old fashioned party to celebrate paying off my house, I specifically didn't invite my parents).
I told my mom that if her and my dad try to move in with me after pissing away their retirement savings I'm going to put them in a discount government ran nursing home that's recently been in the news.
#34
My oldest brother was always my mother’s favorite out of 3 kids. I was the tolerated one (including my mother telling me she would have given me up for adoption if I had been born a boy so yay for having a uterus, I guess?) Well, my brother died of a d**g o******e exactly 3 years ago today, and her other son is a felon and addicted to any d**g he can get his hands on, along with his alcoholism. So now my mother has essentially pushed away the only child of hers that could probably take care of her when she’s old. I fiercely loved my brother, so maybe I’m just bitter about him leaving us so soon.
#35
She died because I left to get away from him, and he neglected her chronic illness.
Her death left him alone in the world with no enabler and he fell apart quickly, attempted s*****e, disabling himself for life, and died this spring alone in his apartment from neglected chronic illness.
It pretty much sucked but I saw it coming decades ago and did most of my grieving then.
#36
My step sis was the golden child from elementary school to college. I was always a “f**k up” to my dad for not being as perfect as her (she got a perfect score on the SAT and played sports, I skipped school and did art). My mom always said how my dad started treating me horribly when he started aligning with step-mom and step-sis. I saw then how she was catered to and pedestaled and could feel how me figuring out life on my own would set me up for more success, even as a kid and she would eventually crash and burn.
We are both 30 now, and I am honestly sad for her. My step-sis has never had a real job and has never paid her own rent due to inheritance and now having a house from that. She failed out of her undergraduate program (which she had a full-ride scholarship to), and still walked for grad just to spare herself the embarrassment. since HS she gained like 100 lbs. She has never had a boyfriend. She does absolutely nothing and has no drive or passion. She is incredibly salty that I am in a STEM field, am engaged, and stay active and fit. .
#37
My brother and I have a running theory that he’s my mom’s favorite and I’m my dad’s favorite. Being my dad’s favorite just meat he spent a couple more minutes talking to me while growing up and coached my softball team. But being my mom’s favorite meant my brother got whatever he wanted.
Up until high school, all I ever wanted was to go to Disney World, but my parents either never wanted to or said we didn’t have money. I remember saving aluminum cans to recycle them to try to earn money so we could go. My brother (who is a few years younger) never cared about going; he was happy just being holed up in his room playing video games. Never once did he ever say he wanted to go too.
I never did end up going to Disney World, but right after my brother graduated high school, they called me up to tell me they were taking him to Disney World as a graduation gift, because “that’s all he ever wanted as a child.” They were even flying there, and flying in an airplane was also something I wanted to do as a kid and never got to do. By the way, they did not invite me on this trip (I was around 20 at the time.). They were just calling to tell me they were going.
They ended up staying a whole week there. When they got back, I asked how it went and they said he was miserable the whole time, complained about the heat, and just wanted to stay inside the hotel and play video games.
This was over 15 years ago now, and a couple of years ago I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom how that made me feel that I never got to go but he did. She then claimed that I never told her I wanted to go (not true). When I denied that and said I told her multiple times, she tried to claim that I was invited on their trip too but I told her I didn’t want to go (not true).
#38
Background:
My biological grandfather died when my mother and oldest uncle were small children. My grandmother was only 18 years old at the time and remarried fast. Her new husband was my grandfather's cousin and he was praised for taking a widow with children as his bride. Pretty soon their golden child (Lets call him Mark) was born. While my mother and her full brother always had to do chores, had to work at their relatives farm during holidays and basically had to listen to my step grandfather's tyrannical rules, Mark was spoiled. He never had to work, was driven to school and always got away with everything. My mother and uncle were always blamed whenever Mark had done anything bad. Even when Mark was found sharing a bed with a 14 year old when he was 25 himself they blamed it on the girl instead of him.
Years went on and eventually, he was arrested while under the influence of several d***s. My grandparents blamed the bar where Mark had been partying that evening. They must have slipped those d***s into his drink because their precious son would never do anything wrong. The worst thing about it however was that Mark did once again get away with it without a scratch.
Mark ended up marrying his now ex-wife because he had gotten her pregnant at 17 while he was 27. The girl came from a rather unsavoury family and they used an old loophole in local regulations to allow the wedding. They had a very turbulent relationship that produced three children. Ten years ago his ex-wife filed for divorce. Because Mark couldn't bother taking care of the children and she wanted a clean slate, my three cousins were dropped off at my grandparents' house.
Aftermath:
My aging grandparents (both 74) have had to move on from Mark. He was arrested during a raid on a d**g dealing ring and was sent to prison for 13 years. My grandparents however didn't learn anything from this experience and continued to pick favourites.
His first child has gone no contact with him and our grandparents after being made into the new 'maid'. She's now living in her college dorm and is making something for herself.
His second child became the new golden child. He still lives with my grandparents and refuses to go to school anymore. He is 20 years old and has no high school degree, doesn't do anything but game, party, does d***s daily (it's just cannabis and rarely other d***s /s ) and openly abuses my grandparents and their blind devotion.
The third child was forced to go and beg his mother to take him in. My grandparents made a couple of lame excuses why he and he alone had to leave their home. He's 17 years old and knows that his mother is kicking him out as soon as he's turning 18. She doesn't want to be reminded of her old life with Mark and only does the bare minimum for her child.
TLDR:
No lessons were learned and now they are repeating their mistakes with the new generation. (Their grandchildren).
#39
I’ll let you know once it happens.
My parents see my brother as their golden child, and through all his fuckups they still have not changed their minds. My brother is 33, failed out of college twice, and can’t hold a (menial) job for more than a few months at a time. He sleeps all day, does not help around the house, and lives in filth. My parents have multiple homes, and my brother mostly lives alone in one of them. He trashes it and expects them to clean it up. Which they do. They go to that home every month to clean it up and to make sure he has enough food. He lives there for free. They pay the mortgage and the utilities and mostly leave him alone.
He’s stolen money from them and used it to travel internationally. He has no concept of money and believes it just appears in front of him, because my parents pay for everything he needs. He spends their money like crazy because more money just appears instantly, and he has no appreciation for how hard my parents work to get that money. My parents can’t retire because he just keeps spending. My mom has already told me that when they pass, my brother is inheriting a majority of their estate because he needs it more. I’m the more responsible one so therefore I must not need the money as much, so they won’t be splitting it between us 50/50.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents have helped me out as well. I lived in one of their homes with my husband for 5 years while we saved money for our own home. But we paid rent and utilities. When we were finally in the process of buying a home, my brother decided he wanted to live in our rented house instead, and tried to kick us out. When we went to the house to pack up our belongings because we were afraid he wouldn’t let us back in, he tried to say it all belonged to him now. When I argued with him that everything in the house was bought with the hard earned money from my husband and I, he argued back “So what? You can just make more money and buy new stuff.” Like I said, no understanding of the concept of money and a hard earned dollar. I was also 6 months pregnant at the time, and he made threats towards my unborn baby. We later found out it was because he was having a mental breakdown from refusing to take his meds, which my parents used as an excuse as to why I should forgive him for his behavior. He has never once acted like he was in the wrong and has never apologized. I completely cut off ties with him and disowned him as my brother, vowing to never allow him to have a relationship with my son. That was over 2 years ago. My mom has repeated overstepped my boundaries regarding this and has invited my brother to see my son on multiple occasions.
I’ve already started rambling too much but I’ve only begun to scratch the surface on all of my brother’s f**kups. I could literally write a book on all the things he’s done that my parents have overlooked. It’s gotten to the point where I no longer care if they work themselves to the bone to support their golden child. He can have the entire inheritance for all I care. He’s just going to spend it all in record time after they’re no longer on this earth. They did this to themselves.
#40
My brother was the kindest and sweetest child. We all really adored him. I'm not surprised he was the golden child. He had such a kind and pure soul. He was the youngest and only boy, so he was really doted on.
He fell into a deep depression after high school. He never really moved out of our mom's place, never finished school, and got his first job at 32. We all took responsibility for him, without realizing that he needs to take responsibility for himself.
Our mom passed away, and while he has a lot of grief and things to learn in terms of living as an adult, a weight has somehow been lifted. He is finally taking initiative in his life in ways that he never thought were possible. It's clear that he has been so coddled to the point of his demise. When I think about everything I have done in my 20's, I can't imagine having spent it day in and day out playing video games in our childhood home.
He still has a kind and pure soul, it will just take a lot of un-f**kery to bring it back out.
#41
My brother is the golden child, never obligated to do any house chores, never took any responsibilities and any bad things was just laughed at it.
He did not turn bad however my mum is now complaining that he does not help her at home, she has to do all the cleaning alone and he does not know how to fill out administrative papers so my mum has to do it for him.
#42
Not me, but my mom. Her brother was the golden child. He could do no wrong and my mom could do no right. When my mom got her first time of the month, her mom beat her because "she was more of a woman than her." Most of the favoritism was shown by my grandma.
Back in the 90s, her brother had to out of nowhere move from Florida back to Michigan. Turns out he had been caught molesting a severely underage girl from the neighborhood. His wife threw some money around and got the family to not take it to court. My grandma worked to bury it within the family, but we all knew because he had actually r***d some of his cousins and even my mom when he was a teen. She had a mental break down knowing her perfect son wasn't perfect. Even after that, she still preferred my uncle over my mom.
#43
My brother is the favorite. He's my Mom's speshul snowflake, so misunderstood. She used to hand wring he had no friends no one understooooood him.
Everyone understood he was an a*****e. Possessive. Rude. Manipulative. Cruel.
He beat the s**t out of me regularly. Got me with a poolstick one time. Broke my possessions, stole them, took over my room and demanded I sleep on a love seat. He would verbally abuse me. And my mother said I was lucky! Because I was learning how to tolerate abuse!
So I ended up with a lot of therapy.
She just never... she never told him no. He did what he wanted and she'd say "Nothing I can do about it."
He repeated 9th grade I think twice because he wouldn't go to school. He was put in alternative school. One class short of graduation and he decided.... nah.
No GED. Because he doesn't think he should have to pay for it. No job. Because he doesn't think he should have to work jobs that bore him. No relationships because he torments people until they can't stand him.
He has nothing. He is the type of person who will spend more time figuring how to avoid things he doesn't wanna do when doing the thing would be faster.
Now the one thing I will add is that if we were in school now, he'd have an ASD diagnosis. Probably more supports. Things might have been different...
But I doubt it. Because he'd still believe he never was responsible for the ways he jacked his own life.
#44
My brother next to me is the golden child.
He is sickly when we are young so most of my parents attention is focused to him. This continue even when we are older.
Good thing is that my parents also show love to us, he just get most of the attention.
He is smart, get the highest honor when he graduated college in the top university in our country. He is at top 10 when he take board exam for doctors. He really did make my parents proud.
But, he is the source of their pain today. When he got married, they didn't get the attention that they want from him, it wasn't over the top attention, just a decent or fair attention. He was raised to only take care of himself, so he only care about himself.
He prioritize the family of his wife which give my parents heart ache. They raised him, give their heart to him but somewhat prioritize the happiness of his in-laws.
Oh well, unlike the others golden child here whose failing in life, he is winning in life.
#45
He told them he would sue them if he didn’t get their house after their death.
Other sibling bears all their expenses n the house was to be sold n split.
#46
My ex husband's brother is a useless t**t who makes a tonne of money, treats his wife like c**p, and can't be bothered to lift a finger to help his mother, didn't visit his father when he was dying, could barely be bothered to take time off to help his mother afterwards.
But, hey, at least he didn't go into the arts.
My ex has kept a large distance for years to save his sanity.
#47
My dad was guilty of seeing my older sister as the golden child. She was extraverted and outgoing like me dad while I was the quiet introvert. How often I had to hear "why aren't you more like your sister?"
My dad didn't give a single f**k about my hobbies either, everything revolved around my sister's hobbies. I was always the "ugly duckling" of the family, the younger brother who isn't as successful as his older sister.w She was more career-oriented and has a high paying job and goes on exotic, expensive vacations.
My sister never rubbed it in and is fully aware of this and feels kinda bad about it, but when I announced that I, at 42 years of age, was able to completely pay off the loan to my house thanks to an investment in Bitcoin I made in 2016, all of a sudden, I wasn't the "unsuccessful ugly duckling" anymore.
I know money and material possessions aren't the most important thing in life, but to my father apparently, it is kind of a way to measure success. And I beat everyone at it. By just investing a couple of thousand of euro's I saved by just not going on vacation but simply staying home in 2016.
#48
Neither one of my half brothers has kids, only me. I know it secretly k**ls my stepmother and she rightfully deserves it😂.
#49
Growing up, my younger brother got almost everything he wanted. Yeah, there were some restrictions on what he was able to ask for, but he still got significantly more than I did. His own phone? Got it. His own pet? Got it. I moved out at seventeen because my mom and I were constantly arguing.
Thing is, now my mom and I's relationship is better. But that's not the point.
Six years ago, when it started falling apart for my brother, was when things started to go to hell for my mom. He had become so entitled, so reliant on marijuana. He got kicked out of two high schools for his poor attitude, got arrested for drag racing. He bought a dog he couldn't afford to feed himself, and got into an argument with my stepdad and moved out. Then my mom went into debt to help him buy a trailer to live and pay rent in, went into debt to cosign a loan. And he screwed her over on those too.
Now he's living on the other side of the state, barely talks to my mom, and my mom is finally making admissions that things she has done is wrong while raising us. But their relationship is fractured, my brother has a crippling addition to pot, couch surfing with friends (though I hope he's found some place to live full time at this point), and he's just a mess.
#50
So not me, but my mother in law is the sibling of a favorite child. Her parents treated all of their kids like s**t except for the oldest boy. The best description of his upbringing is someone who has never once been told the word "no" in his life.
The entire family treats this dude like royalty. I got married in and refused to do the same. He wrote us all off when I called him out for being a d**k to my MIL. Everyone is happy he's gone.
This dude is in his 60s, he lives alone, he has zero friends, always complaining, never had a partner, generally just not fun to be around.
Don't play favoritism with your kids, and friends, tell your children no every so often. Giving them everything they want is not actual love.
#51
Once all the other kids moved away for college there was no other buffer between them and the golden child's a*****e behavior. they paid to have them sent to a residential treatment program. and another. and another.
honestly the treatment worked and they're cool now, but my parents are still having to pay for everyone's therapy. I can't imagine how much money they could have saved if they had just decided to be parents when we were kids.
#52
TW: Domestic Violence, Sexual abuse, Neglect
My oldest brother (moms favorite) would often steal money and debit cards from my mom growing up. He was also violent. He would destroy my things and burn cigarettes or blunts into my blankets, musical instruments, etc. He also did other things I won't get into detail here. Mother knew and didn't believe me. I left home at 16 because it wasn't safe for me.
Fast forward my mom told me he got arrested for beating his girlfriend inside a hospital. That was probably the only reason he was caught because they were in a public place. I warned the girlfriend and told her she wasn't safe with my brother and neither were the kids not long after I met her.
When my mom picked him up from the holding center, he was beaten to a pulp and unrecognizable. She didn't ask any questions and took him home back to his girlfriend's house. It wasn't the last time he did it. Eventually my mother got tired of picking him up bailing him out. This was 6 years ago.
I don't know my mother's last straw with him, and I don't know if they talk now. She moved upstate with me after her divorce from my step dad. (He was also disgusting.) I guess she realized I was the "responsible child". I am her youngest and only daughter.
I wish she had stopped it when it was me as a kid. I understand there's only so much you can do to change a child's behavior but at least it could have stopped or been addressed with me and maybe it wouldn't have been unleashed onto the world. Those girls didn't deserve it. There is no excuse to let things happen to one child because of fear or ignorance or favoritism. She was so afraid of him going to jail. I don't keep tabs on him but I can only hope he is locked up and not able to harm anyone else, or a changed person. My mother doesn't mention him to me anymore.
Sometimes I want to ask her about him but I don't know if I have it in me, you know?
#53
They're going to be 40 and still live at home and only works part time.
#54
My mother made no attempt to hide the fact that my brother was her favourite. He was so cute, so smart, so everything! We all just accepted it. My mother is a narcissistic sociopath and thought having this sweet pretty little boy made her look good. Well my brother is a great guy, grown and married, and absolutely hates my mother. He only just barely tolerates her at family events because of the undeserved nasty things she has said to his wife, and to others. None of us wants to have anything to do with her but the distain he shows her is palpable.
#55
This post really warms my heart as I am going through it right now. My narcissistic drunk of a sister showed up this summer who has always been the golden child. When she was yelling in my face, I made the mistake of yelling back. That cost me everything. As my mom who is also a narcissistic drunk kicked me out. And if that wasn’t bad enough, my nuclear family went around telling anyone who would listen that I’m dangerous and have anger issues. And if I say anything not to believe a word because I’m also a manipulative liar.
The consequences haven’t caught up to them yet, but now six months later, I realized this will probably be the best thing that ever happened to me. I’d have spent years doing everything under the sun to make them all happy and they would have treated me like c**p. But for my mom, my sister doesn’t care about her at all. Just her money. I imagine she will die all alone as my sister isn’t going to come see her even on her deathbed.
#56
Well, I was the scapegoat and my little brother was the golden boy for a long time. It's still that dynamic, honestly.
I left for college and they realized he was a brat, so they pushed him to join the military and he's doing really well with it. They're very disappointed that he has a few tattoos, like me. He and I talk sometimes and are on better terms than when we were growing up, but we aren't close. I blame my parents for that one.
#57
My younger sister was the golden child, and got a lot of the love and attention I craved so deeply. She was kind of a nightmare for a while growing up, but I can't speak too badly on her because she's gotten so much better. I think she really started to see in High School how messed up our mother is, and started separating herself in the same way I did years before. With even her golden child only coming to visit twice a year and seeing both her kids enjoying life away from her, she's gone into some insane depression and defines herself around her dogs now.
#58
Both me and my wife are the siblings of the golden child, and boy is it about to turn ugly as our parents age. My parents ensured my continual distance due to the way they favored taking care of themselves and not me while I was growing up. I have been pretty independent since 16 and self driven in the decades since I stopped needing my parents, all that time I have turned around from being in a poor family to being pretty successful. Meanwhile the golden child has done okay but still lives a fairly lower income life and may never escape it. If at some point my parents need support I am sure the golden child can move them into his 900 sq ft two bedroom apartment that he and his family of 4 live in. Since both my parents made it clear they didn't want me living with them at various points in my teen years, I have no desire to move them in.
My wife has two siblings that are prized and can do no wrong in their mothers eyes, meanwhile every decision my wife makes is scrutinized. My sister in law has never held a full time job, my brother in law has repeatedly lied to my MIL, and nothing either one does is criticized by MIL. But man when MIL needs money the first person she cries to is my wife. Why? Because unlike the rest of the family my wife is financially responsible and we have made sure that we are never in the same position as we were in 2006-2009. I had been kicked out of my moms house and my MIL had driven my wife out because she was engaged and need "a hard life lesson". We spent 3 and a half years struggling to keep our head above water as newly weds and the fact that only my Father in Law (RIP to a real one) secretly gave us some money a couple times did we make it.
Now that parents are older we can both see they are trying to fix decades of poor treatment because as their health declines they will want to be with the financially stable children, and for both sets of parents that is me and my wife.
#59
I'm one of five siblings - older brother, myself & my sister are twins, then two younger brothers. My sister and youngest brother were our mother's favourites. Every year for our birthday it was always what my sister wanted, the party, the cake, everything. If it weren't for my dad & brother I wouldn't have even gotten my own gifts. My mother used to punish my older brother for buying me my own cupcake for my birthday. The golden children got really good birthday & Christmas gifts, while the rest of us were lucky if we got any at all. Dad was an on-off alcoholic, which didn't help matters. I was forced into whatever activities my sister wanted to do - cheerleading all through highschool (bane of my existence), athletics (that didn't last too long though thankfully) & volleyball (actually grew to like it, and now I coach it).
My mother kicked me out at 17 for being gay after my HS guidance counsellor snitched on me. Older brother whisked me away for college and I started a new life, married an amazing woman, became a teacher, had a kid.
My sister on the other hand got pregnant at 18, BD ghosted her & later overdosed, and she married a really a*****e man who was six years her senior just to escape our mother. Even she eventually was able to see how toxic our mother is, but since she had been coddled her life she struggled on her own hence the abrupt marriage. Ensue an affair with her SIL, messy divorce, a*****t charges, domestic abuse trial & court ordered residential treatment for painkiller a*******n & severely disordered eating. My wife & I have custody of our nephew for the forseeable future while my sister finishes out her treatment .
#60
My sibling is genuinely successful, a kind and brilliant man, he has achieved every kind of success a man could. I could only develop a relationship with him after our parents died. He has been nurtured and grown to be wonderful. He is wonderful.
I love him. He loves me. He tells me I’m better than I think I am. I doubt him. It has taken 50 years to get here.
#61
My brother was the Golden child HOWEVER my mom shot herself in the foot: he was less than two years old when I was born, and she always bragged about how right when she got me home, she put me in his arms and told him he was the big brother and had to look after me and care for me.
He took this VERY SERIOUSLY, as a child does, and so while I was persona non grata, he still loved and looked out for me. When we figured out her favoritism wasn't just coincidence or in our heads, we worked together to get around her b******t.
We were close as siblings can be; the only unconditional affection and acceptance we had was from each other. It was hard when he couldn't take the weight of her expectations anymore and started sabotaging himself.
He's nearly 50 and he still falls back into that cycle. I have my own b******t as well; it never f*****g ends, you just find ways to cope and try to stay vigilant so you won't slip.
