A sex education expert has dismissed claims from a Tory MP that students are taught 'graphic lessons on oral sex, how to choke your partner safely and 72 genders'.
Liz Robinson, CEO of Step2 - which offers services for young people and schools, including teaching sex education lessons and providing training - says there has been too much scaremongering and fears the curriculum will be stripped back.
The 56-year-old, from Bradford, assures parents that difficult topics are handled sensitively and argues that students must be taught about pornography because it is a 'massive problem'.
Her comments come after MP Miriam Cates, a committed Christian and former biology teacher, stood up in parliament this month demanding an inquiry into children being taught "graphic lessons on oral sex, how to choke your partner safely and 72 genders" under what she called a widespread "safeguarding scandal."
Prime Minister Rishi Sunak responded by saying that he'd asked education ministers to investigate and "as a result of all this we are bringing forward a review of RSHE statutory guidance".
And while Liz welcomes a review, she disagrees wholeheartedly with Ms Cates' remarks.
"There would never be a lesson on how to choke your partner," Liz, who has 17 years of experience teaching sex education, tells the Mirror.
"It's not something that would ever come up in a lesson we've had. It would only come up if a student mentioned it but it would never be taught. If it did, we'd be saying that is a form of abuse.
"We do talk about two genders in puberty when they learn about the changes that happen to bodies. But we say there are people that don't feel that they fit into the body they were born in. And they might choose to present in a different gender."
Relationships, Sex and Health Education (RSHE) became mandatory in schools in 2020 but Liz says it's a very mixed picture with the way it is taught.
Particularly in Bradford, where there are all-girls Muslim schools but also many white-working-class schools, the teaching differs depending on their life experiences.
Step2 has a contract with Bradford City Council that allows their work to be on offer to schools for free and over the past year, they've been in around 22 schools.
"There is a lot of flexibility with how it is delivered," Liz continues.
"Some have been doing really well, some are resistant to it.
"There aren't specialised teachers on the subject so we train teachers on it, help them feel more comfortable about the content, and see how their values will influence the teaching."
Material is agreed upon beforehand with the staff and sometimes parents.
While the current curriculum doesn't include detail on what is age-appropriate, Liz says, they have created their own standard lessons for each age group.
They will teach children from the age of nine - about things like puberty and how babies are made - and up to 15 - where the content will vary widely.
They're usually tasked with teaching classes about more complex matters, such as domestic abuse and pornography, which Liz says is a necessity.
Recent research from the Children's Commissioner found 27 per cent of 11-year-olds had seen pornography, and 79 per cent encountered violent pornography before the age of 18.
"I think it's really important because we know pornography is massive," the expert says.
"The vast majority of young people will at some point in their time at secondary school, so before they reach the age of consent, will see it and we know that if we don't talk about it, they'll probably go find it and look for their own answers.
"It's massively important that they hit the factual stuff before they do that. One of the things that students are really surprised about is that pornography is acted - they very often believe that it is what real people do in real relationships. And we know that's not the case.
"We come across girls that think they should enjoy people being violent to them because they see people enjoying it in pornography. And they think something is wrong with them. And there's also body image and pornography, which can lead to body dysmorphia."
Liz adds: "We have boys, aged 16 and 17, accessing our sexual health service who don't feel satisfied and are looking for more extreme stuff in order to feel turned on.
"They become desensitised by some of the pornography so they are then struggling in normal relationships. We need to teach people that it isn't normal and they don’t have to do it."
Liz, who has two grown-up children of her own, says they have a ground rule in classes for students to not share personal experiences, and that they can come to them at the end of the lesson, but sometimes students can say things in a bid to shock their peers.
"Sometimes things come out... we explain that if anything happens in a sexual relationship that you feel is upsetting or you don't want to do, we explain about consent and that you're okay to say no to that and that sex can be pleasurable. It should be enjoyable and if it's not you should tell the other person."
The RHSE guidance was last updated in September 2020 - and before then, it had been 18 years.
It is now meant to be reviewed every three years so it is due for a review this year, however Mr Sunak says it will be brought forward.
Yet three years on from the Government's promise to deliver quality relationships and sex education through new guidance, new research from the Sex Education Forum shows only 40 per cent of young people aged 16 and 17 rate their RSE received at school as good or very good.
"It is important that it is reviewed, I would welcome that, as there needs to be more discussion on what is taught, when and there needs to be more specifics," Liz comments.
But she questions the Government's motive.
"There is scaremongering going on. I question if they're trying to whip up parents to say 'let's scale it back.'"
Parents do have the right to request to withdraw their child from sex education delivered as part of RSE in secondary schools, but for those worried about what their child is being taught, Liz recommends speaking to the school to ease concerns.
"I would suggest going and chatting to your school and finding out what is being taught," she adds.
"You can ask to see the materials and I encourage parents to get more involved."
Geoff Barton, the general secretary of the Association of School and College Leaders and a former headteacher, said: "The vast majority of schools are incredibly cautious and sensible about the teaching of RSE and we disagree with the sweeping generalisation and inflammatory rhetoric from Miriam Cates in the Commons.
"Schools are doing their best to teach children and young people about things like being safe and respectful relationships in a sensitive and age-appropriate manner, but they are constantly subjected to unhelpful potshots from various individuals and groups.
"We welcome the review of relationships and sex education as part of an ongoing process of ensuring that schools and teachers are well supported in delivering this topic, but our understanding is that this review has been on the cards for some time, as one would expect, given that this is a relatively new and very important part of the curriculum."
For more information on RSE, you can head to the Government website here.
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