''Espresso Martini, madam?” enquired a waiter passing by the poolside while balancing a tray full of the coffee and vodka cocktails on his palm.
I looked at my watch. It had just gone noon.
“Oh, go on then,” I replied, pretending he was somehow twisting my arm.
I watched as he weaved his way around the other guests lounging under parasols, each of them so pleased to be presented with a cheeky midday pick-me-up without having to move from their comfy position.
This is how life rolls at the Iberostar Selection Anthelia in Tenerife, the Canaries’ largest island and winter-sun favourite.
While many hotels in the upmarket resort of Costa Adeje have the coveted five-star rating, some, like this one, go the extra mile to make your stay that little bit lovelier.
When our flight from Stansted was diverted to Portugal because of overflowing loos, we arrived four hours late at the hotel, missing dinner.
Without being prompted, the concierge sent up Spanish cheeses, charcuterie and salads under silver cloches to our rooms.
Savouring every bit on our balcony in the warm night air with a bottle of local red, this efficient act of service turned what was veering towards an exhausting and wasted first night into a pleasant introduction to the culinary delights of the Canary Islands.
Chilled glasses of cava on arrival, a free in-room safe to store passports, waiter service in the all-inclusive bars, T-shirts and baseball caps for the kids, and lots more little touches like this all come as standard at this fancy abode.
The Anthelia, which is designed like a Mediterranean village with cultivated gardens and fish pools, also stands out because of its prime spot on Tenerife’s craggy southern coast.
Perched on a headland jutting into the Atlantic, there’s sea on three sides of the main swimming pools, making it sunny all day long, and you can see the mountains and Mount Teide, Spain’s highest peak, behind it.
Placed between the black sands of Playa Fanabe and Playa Del Duque’s golden stretch, it’s ideal for nipping out for a seafront stroll.
Ideal for a ‘fly-away-and-flop’ holiday, all we (me, my husband and two children) wanted was a week in the sunshine and a good rest. This is definitely the place to do it.
Adjoining rooms meant we got our own space, bathrooms and mini bars (Cokes and Fantas for the kids; wine, San Miguel and fizz for us), and we could play our own music through our own Bluetooth sound systems.
Those looking for even more space can opt for a duplex suite with living room and whirlpool bath.
By day the kids were happy dipping in and out of the pools, loved getting their own drinks from the bar and joining in at the kids’ club where there’s art, cooking and games.
The ‘walk-on-water’ challenge, which involved running across a foam pathway rolled out across the main pool, was a hit with kids of all ages.
We also knocked a few balls around on the tennis court and loved our evenings in the show bar – a Freddie Mercury impersonator and the hotel’s own take on The Greatest Showman were all great entertainment.
I spent a blissful hour at Spa Sensations enjoying a full body massage, followed by chill time in the sauna and the thermal circuit. There are classes such as spinning and Pilates too.
Food here is a big part of the five-star experience. Italian restaurant Portofino, overlooking the pool, serves pizzas and pasta, and we had a memorable evening at the silver-service Poseidon which specialises in Canary Island food.
Sea Soul, with its all-white, beach club vibe is a swanky venue for sundowners, seafood and watching the world go by.
The Zeus buffet for casual dining, however, is an almighty pick-and-mix of amazing offerings such as fillet steaks cooked to order, lobster tails and sushi, through to rainbow macaroons and a chocolate fountain for dessert.
Order your wine from an extensive list via a QR code on your phone.
Doing away with throwaway menus is one of the many ways the hotel is making itself more sustainable. Multiple water stations are dotted around to fill up reusable bottles, and even the straws are edible – and taste like sweets, much to my children’s delight.
The Iberostar hotel group recently announced it will be carbon neutral by 2030 and is giving 1% of its 2022 Black Friday sales to projects recovering coastal dunes, green spaces and coral reefs.
The beach resort of Costa Adeje is also great for tax-free shopping. Plaza del Duque mall, just behind the hotel, includes stores such as Hugo Boss, Armani, Esprit, Pandora and Mango.
And if you fancy a classic Tenerife night out, there are rows of tapas bars, curry houses, Chinese restaurants and pizza parlours, as well as themed bars, live music, karaoke and beach clubs all along the strip behind Fanabe beach and beyond.
Kids will love the Total Wipeout-style inflatables at Playa La Pinta – the next beach along from Fanabe – and you can join a dolphin-spotting trip or catamaran cruise at Puerto Colon harbour.
But the big family day out for anyone with kids aged eight and above has to be Siam Park. For those who want their splashy thrills higher, faster, darker and longer, Europe’s biggest waterpark is the answer.
Videos of Tower of Power, its 92ft, near-vertical waterslide reaching speeds of up to 50mph and passing through a shark tank, have been watched millions of times online, so if you’re a teenager, it is the coolest thing to say to your mates that you’ve been there and done it.
The day we went, it was rammed.
The Thursday of October half-term week, just when we were feeling rested, we’d psyched ourselves up to go and with a day of holiday remaining to recover, made perfect sense to us – and to a lot of other people too.
A situation like this needs careful management…
To beat the queues at the gates purchase tickets online in advance.
We bought ours from Attraction Tickets – a trusted UK vendor for big locations including the Disney parks, they currently have a deal which includes a free burger.
Locker stations for your valuables are placed all around the park – the ones furthest from the entrance have the shortest queues.
Don’t bother bagging a sunlounger. By the time we arrived, every single one was claimed, but if you want to go on all the rides, there isn’t time to lounge around anyway.
Free buses operate to and from the main resorts, but if you want to catch the last one back, leave before the park closes.
Our favourites were the Dragon Ride featuring a drop of 33ft in darkness – terrifying at the time, but still talked about now – and the Mai Thai lazy river, a 1,100 yard meander with fast-flowing areas, waterfalls and a surprise section through a fish tank.
If, however, you want to enjoy the natural waters of Tenerife, Teresitas Beach, under the Anaga Massif mountains on the north of the island, is a beautiful stretch of coast.
And, of course, there’s that big volcano in the centre of the island, Teide. It’s well worth catching a ride on the cable car for panoramic views from an altitude of 12,188ft for €21.
So if you want to crash out, go crazy, or anything in between, this colourful Canary Island is at your service.
Book the holiday
Get there: Fly to Tenerife South from Bristol, Luton, East Midlands, Stansted, Manchester, Liverpool, from £14.99 one way in January - find out more at ryanair.com.
Airport Parking & Hotels offers parking and overnight hotel stays at all major UK airports. A week’s APH Park and Ride airport parking at Stansted from £66 - find out more at aph.com.
Stay there: Double garden view rooms at the Iberostar Selection Anthalia in Costa Adeje, Tenerife, from £272 per night on all-inclusive. You can book at Iberostar.com.
Siam Park tickets: One-day tickets for Siam Park waterpark from £35 per adult and £25 per child, with a free burger, from attractiontickets.com.
