A former Royal Australian Navy officer who alleges a colleague’s bullying led to them feeling suicidal was further traumatised – and pushed to the brink of suicide again – after appearing as a special “key witness” in the royal commission into defence and veteran suicide.
Speaking exclusively to Guardian Australia, the former officer, who can’t be identified, explained how their harrowing experiences in the navy led them to be selected as the sole key witness in an in-depth inquiry within the commission, designed to highlight systemic institutional failure by the Australian Defence Force.
The experiences include bullying and threats from a fellow officer, an ensuing deeply flawed and unfair internal inquiry, and a negligent medical discharge while in a psychiatric hospital that rendered them homeless and more suicidal.
Despite the harrowing nature of their testimony, the former officer was chosen by commission counsel because they had attributes sought in a person who would be at the centre of rigorous in-depth inquiry – a PhD in adult education, a reputation for honesty, a record of resilience under duress – including as an aid worker in war zones – and experience as a former police chaplain with expertise in suicide prevention.
But the inquiry process itself retraumatised the witness, who alleges Defence’s legal conduct attempted to silence them and brought their integrity into question, leading to an extraordinary situation whereby the “key witness” in a royal commission on defence and veteran suicide was left dangerously suicidal by the experience.
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The royal commission was established in July 2021 in response to a crisis of armed services culture and internal procedures relating to psychological and medical support and compensation, evidenced by the suicides of about 1,600 serving and former personnel between 1997 and 2020.
The key witness made a submission to the commission in September 2021. After video conferences in February 2022 with commission lawyers, a commission barrister suggested the former officer be invited to participate in the inquiry whereby Defence would have the opportunity to respond and cross-examine. Commission counsel then formulated six potential adverse findings against the navy regarding mistreatment of the key witness.
The commission accepted the six findings against navy, and so for most of 2022, the key witness psychologically steeled themselves to testify and face cross-examination.
“It was a big decision. If I’d declined I’d be going against my values and everything I’ve stood up for in the past decade. My psychologist was concerned due to the toll it could take on my mental health – that it could be re-traumatising. But I wanted to proceed. I knew it would be tough, but this wasn’t just for me – it was for all of us.”
The former officer enthusiastically agreed to become the key witness.
The in-depth inquiry’s public report recounts the anonymised evidence “about experiences in service including bullying that they said had contributed to them becoming suicidal during their service … led to them being medically discharged before receiving adequate treatment and that for some years afterwards they had been suicidal”.
On complaining of becoming suicidal after a fellow officer’s bullying, a meeting was held about managing risk to the key witness. The fellow officer was inappropriately included in the meeting creating “a conflict of interest that the Navy’s administrative, command and clinical care processes should have prevented”.
Months later the key witness discovered their suicidality had been disclosed to the fellow officer in that meeting, having a “severe impact on their mental state and wellbeing” and trust in the service.
They then repeated the bullying complaint to an officer responsible for equity and diversity, prompting an official navy inquiry. This inquiry didn’t, however, interview clinical personnel with medical insight into the key witness’s psychological state. Instead, other unqualified personnel proffered opinions on the key witness’s suicidality, personality, mental health, coping capacity and resilience.
This inquiry made findings against the key witness, questioning their resilience and coping ability.
“This was the first time I heard that the inquiry knew of my suicidality. That was confidential,” they said.
They were also advised of a recommendation that the adverse inquiry report be referred to a navy medical and employment review board to determine the key witness’s capacity to return to sea. The inquiry concluded the former officer’s perspective was “not that of a ‘reasonable person’”.
The royal commission reports: “The key witness [said] that reading the report in redacted form, [while a mental health inpatient] gave them the impression that they were blamed for what they went through and that there was no accountability for the officer …”
While the navy inquiry dwelt on questions about the former officer’s resilience, reflecting a stigmatised view of suicidality, it deflected attention from the unacceptable behaviour of the bullying fellow officer. The key witness suspected but couldn’t prove how the navy inquiry ascertained their suicidality.
It wasn’t until they later read Defence documents that the answer became clear.
“I was shocked and disheartened when I discovered the truth. After everything I endured, how could no one see this was completely wrong? The very officer who bullied and threatened me while at sea had disclosed my suicidality to the inquiry and then the navy weaponised it against me.”
A few months later, the former officer was posted to the same location as the ship on which they’d been bullied. This triggered significant trauma and daily suicidal thoughts culminating in post-traumatic stress disorder. A mental health clinician indicated this location was “a trigger” and recommended another posting.
“I used to love going to work in the navy, but every morning I became repulsed by the thought. The moment I entered that gate, my head was filled with his [the fellow officer’s] threats. I wanted to drown in the sea before me rather than be trapped there.”
Regardless, the key witness was forced to serve there until eventual discharge more than a year later.
The key witness had briefly been homeless as a teenager and was terrified of being so again.
“My fear of homelessness became reality,” they said. “I warned them this would happen if they discharged me, but no one believed me.
“I was left with a huge rental bill, no income, and rental agencies saw me as a risk. MilitarySuper was silent, DVA [Department of Veterans Affairs] denied my claims and I had no understanding why. Battling my trauma alone, at least I had my car. I had never felt so discarded and debilitated in my life, all because I served my country.”
But more trauma was to come with the commission process where they once again found themselves pushed to the point of suicide – this time by Defence’s legal conduct.
According to the key witness’s solicitor advocate, Peter O’Brien, “Defence sought to challenge the key witness’s account in such an unfair and unreasonable manner by tending evidence at such a late stage of proceedings – effectively at the 59th minute of the 11th hour – when they dropped tens of thousands of pages on us.
“Without cross-examining them on that material, they sought to undermine the key witness’s evidence by way of a later final written submission. So fundamentally unfair was this that it demonstrated a wanton abuse of the process and it was painfully and dangerously re-traumatising for the key witness.”
All involved in the in-depth inquiry, including Defence, had at least four preparatory months. Defence, however produced thousands of pages of relevant documents 10 hours before they were due to testify.
“This absolutely put me in an impossible position,” the witness said. “I was ready to testify but had to decide whether to go ahead and give evidence within minutes, as none of us except Defence knew what those documents contained. The process was unfair from the very beginning.”
They recall how the written post-hearing Defence submission in February 2023 (which vociferously challenged the validity of the witness’s evidence in a way that Defence did not during cross-examination) triggered them to plan suicide.
“Defence disrespected and invalidated my experiences, gagging my right to speak. They did the same to me back in the navy, twisting the facts to suit their narrative. This conduct made me feel suicidal all over again.’’
A chance intervention by the key witness’s psychologist saved them.
“I testified for over two days, validating these six adverse findings against navy. I finally felt heard,” the witness said. “But all Defence did in the commission was try to cover it up and ensure it never went public. I am a strong-willed, empathetic and positive person always determined to help others. Yet I nearly took my life while participating in the royal commission … due to how Defence mistreated me yet again.
“Defence didn’t physically threaten me, but their actions felt like an attempt to silence me. Both during my time in the navy and now in this royal commission, their conduct undermined my integrity and tried to suppress my story.
“As part of my written submissions, I asked Defence to acknowledge the lack of early trauma treatment, explain system failure, and apologise for discharging me during treatment. Standing up for myself and others took immense courage, and receiving no response reinforces how systemic issues still exist today.”
The commission found “the entirety of the key witness’s experience after reporting their suicidality to medical personnel was so negative that, to the extent that others in Defence might have become aware of it, it would serve as a deterrent against others seeking help for mental health issues and suicidality”.
In late 2023 commissioner Nick Kaldas publicly insisted the commission had been stymied by some government agencies and departments – including Defence – from accessing essential information.
He said that “basically every trick in the book has been pulled out at some point to stop us gaining access to documents”.
The commission’s final report noted, “Delays in producing information and documents by Australian Government Agencies impeded this royal commission’s work” and “had serious practical implications for our inquiry, including the examination of witnesses.”
It notes serious delays in producing documents and singled out the Australian Government Solicitor [which represented Defence and other government agencies] for being “sometimes unnecessarily adversarial”.
According to the witness it was this same adversarial legal approach that helped to push them back to the brink of self-harm during the royal commission’s evidentiary process.
In October 2023, the Tasmanian senator Jacqui Lambie – who was instrumental in calling for the royal commission – heavily criticised Defence and its chief, Angus Campbell, about the presentation of documents to the royal commission.
“The fact that a commissioner, Commissioner Kaldas, had to come out publicly in the middle of a royal commission to ask them to hand over documents is appalling in itself,” she told the Senate.
A Defence spokesperson said: “Defence, as part of the commonwealth, engaged in the ‘In Depth Inquiry’ (IDI) process conducted by the royal commission as [sic] the request of the royal commission.
“The Commission acknowledged in its final report when reporting on the IDI, there was a need to conduct the IDI in a way that minimised the risk of re-traumatisation of the witness. The commonwealth sought to engage in a trauma informed way at all times.
“Defence thanks this witness for their courage and their significant contribution. As the final report reflects, Defence has work to do and is committed to learning from the findings.”
• In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie. In the US, you can call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 988, chat on 988lifeline.org, or text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counsellor. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org
