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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Nia Dalton

'I quit my job to care for my parents - the 'sandwich generation' need more support'

Almost a third of middle-aged women spend over a month every year looking after family dependants, new research by the Good Life Sorted has revealed.

Last year, 43,000 women in the UK were forced to quit their full-time jobs to become carers for relatives in need.

Hayley Timson, 48, is one of them and part of the 'sandwich generation' caught in the middle, caring for elderly parents and young children, in an ageing population.

The mum-of-two felt it was her "only option" to leave her career and look after her mum and dad, Barry, 78, and Denise, 80, who both have dementia.

It has been a strain on the family's finances amid the cost of living crisis (Hayley Timson)
Denise and Barry would lose all their savings in a year if they went into residential care (Hayley Timson)

Like many others, Hayley "couldn't cope" trying to juggle a full-time job in the police force, bring up her nine-year-old twins and ensure her parents were cared for.

So, she took the "financial strain" of losing one household salary and now spends around 20 hours a week doing her elderly parents' shopping, cooking and cleaning.

Talking to the Mirror about the reality of taking on the caregiving duties, Hayley said: "We've had to reign things in as we don't have that money coming in.

"Our income has taken a big hit but we weighed it up and agreed this as a family, to prevent a costly care home that my parents really didn't want. It's how it has to be right now."

Hayley's wife Heather, 49, works long hours in school leadership and her older brother lives nearby but is unable to help regularly.

Before she quit her full-time job last July, Hayley was fighting a losing battle and didn't know which way to turn.

"It was horrendous before. I could see their care needs escalating and it was impacting my job, having to dart out to respond to calls," she said.

"At the point I gave up work, it was because I literally had to. I just couldn't cope. Now I'm on top of it more - but that's simply because I left my job."

Hayley gave up her career because she felt as though there was 'no other option' (Hayley Timson)

Hayley, from Horsham, visits her parents three days a week for five-hours at a time, to keep them company and provide practical support with the help of carers.

Professional carers from a private company visit Barry and Denise for an hour each morning and evening, which Hayley says it "invaluable".

"We couldn't do it without them. It costs us a huge £4,000 a month, but compared to the cost of going into a care home it's much less," Hayley explained.

Barry, who was diagnosed with dementia 10 years ago, went into respite care temporarily for a week and it cost £1,800 - nearly triple the expense they pay now.

"My dad was safe and clean but the facilities just didn't equate to the eye-watering amount of money that was required," Hayley explained.

Average care home fees in the UK range from £27,000 to £39,000 a year per person for residential care, and 91 percent of care seekers think this is too expensive.

"My parents are deteriorating rapidly at the moment so it might come to the point, unfortunately, where my dad needs to go into a home," Hayley explained.

"But all their money and hard-earned cash will literally be gone in a flash. We're living in troubled times and their savings would disappear in a year."

She believes more support is required by the Government to support the 'sandwich generation' (Hayley Timson)

In a dream world, Hayley would love to find a cure for dementia but says it's probably too late for her parents - so extra support would be ideal.

"Sadly, with dementia on the rise and one in two people receiving a diagnosis, we are caught in the 'sandwich generation' caring for our parents and children. There should be an allowance to help," she said.

Verity Batchelder, founder of the UK's leading home help company Good Life Sorted, told the Mirror: "Hayley is the classic example of someone in the 'sandwich generation' - people with children still at home and elderly parents who need support.

"She and her wife had to make the choice for her to leave full-time work. It's not an easy choice to make.

"Every day, over 600 people are joining growing waiting lists for care and support assessment in England.

"We are seeing swathes of women leaving full-time careers early in order to look after their loved ones.

"We know from our own research that people want to stay in their own homes as long as possible.

"From an independence, confidence and financial point of view, it is the preferred route. But this does often mean that additional support is needed.

"Governments worldwide have yet to offer a real solution to this upcoming crisis - there are just not enough professional carers. Even if we doubled that workforce, it would still not be enough."

Are you struggling to afford care amid the cost of living crisis? Email nia.dalton@reachplc.com.

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