The widow of Shane MacGowan says she is struggling as she prepares to mark the one-year anniversary of his death.
The Pogues singer died last year on November 30 following a number of health complications, less than a month before what would have been his 66th birthday on Christmas Day.
He and Irish artist and writer Victoria Mary Clarke first met in a north London pub in 1984 when she was just 16. However they didn’t begin dating until four years later.
Then, following 32 years together, MacGowan finally popped the question and they married in 2018.
This week marks what would have been their sixth wedding anniversary and Clarke admits that not having him for it is “f****** hard”.
Taking to Instagram to share a throwback picture from their big day, on Tuesday she penned a lengthy caption detailing her emotions at the moment.
“Today is our wedding anniversary and it is f****** hard,” she began. “I am just crying in bed and not feeling like there’s anything to live for. I miss him desperately, more than I even thought possible.
“Even though I know that these emotions are really only passing through and there will be times when I can feel the joy again and the appreciation for everything that we shared.
“And even though I know that Shane is happy in another dimension with his beautiful mother Therese. It’s a weird thing to know that you are human and that it f***ing hurts to be human but at the same moment that you are hurting you are also a soul and you are also eternal and powerful and full of love and light. Sometimes you can feel very isolated and alone and cut off from the love.”
She then urged any of her followers experiencing similar to “find something nice to say to yourself, find a way to love yourself and support yourself and keep asking the angels for help to heal the pain in your heart and to lift the heaviness and let the light in.”
May concluded her post by thanking her late partner for having been in her life, vowing: “I will love you forever and ever”.
