Jill Halfpenny has opened up on how she dealt with the loss of her partner Matt by making 'friends with her grief' and learning to be 'comfortable with being uncomfortable'.
Everyone deals with grief in different ways and there is no singular set of rules that can help you navigate the overwhelming emotions that come with a loss. But Jill Halfpenny, whose partner Matt died suddenly in 2017 from a heart attack, has revealed that she found comfort by making 'friends' with her grief rather than trying to fight it.
During a recent appearance on Loose Women, she shared that her grief just got 'stronger' when she tried to ignore it, explaining, "It's like the monster in the cupboard. You hold the door shut but, actually, it just gets stronger and stronger."
So, she said she's been learning to be uncomfortable and not fight feelings of grief, but embrace them so she get through dark times in more healthy ways.
"Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, I think, is the key to just life in general," she explained. "And now I feel almost like a newborn baby, like I have to re-remember the world and how I operate it in. It sounds strange, but that's what I felt like; so vulnerable and so exposed."
When she was asked, "What do you do with the pain when it comes up?" she replied candidly, "I know it's counterintuitive, but I would say to make friends with it."
Explaining what she means, she added, "I know this sounds a bit cheesy, but I literally decided to make friends with my grief. I would literally talk to that part of myself and I'd say, you're here with me today. You're on me. I can feel you, but I've got to go to work today. So if you just stay beside me, I promise I won't ignore you. And tonight, I'm going to talk to you.
"It's like, bear with me," she added. "I'm not going to push you away. I'm not going to ignore you. But I've just got to get on with something. And I promise you, tonight, I will give you attention."
She treats her grief like this, she said, because, "That's all it's asking of us, it wants attention."
Fans of Loose Women have praised Jill for her candid and 'comforting' insight, with one sharing, "This was comforting to watch. Hit the nail on the head; the vulnerability, the exposure, the having to learn life all over again. Thanks for sharing." While another said, "Hi Jill, I loved your advice today! I really wish I had taken your approach!"
Nearly eight years after loosing her partner, Jill has now found love again and has spoken candidly about the 'betrayal' she felt that she was committing by moving on.
Appearing on The One Show back in 2024, she shared, "When you lose a partner, a romantic relationship, it can sometimes feel like betrayal if you move on."
But, she said, that is just a feeling, not a truth. "You absolutely are allowed to be happy again," she explained."But I think if you do the processing and the healing and do the work, you can go into another relationship and be happy again. But if you haven't done that work, there will always be a part of you somewhere else."
She added, "I fortunately feel that I do deserve to be happy and I do feel happy, and it's really nice to be in love again."
