Dear Coleen
I hope you can give me some words of advice, as I feel really stuck and desperate, and I don’t know where to turn. At the moment, my depression, anxiety and panic attacks are through the roof.
As a consequence, I don’t like going out of my house any more and I’ve lost all contact with my friends. All I want to do when I wake up every day is stay in my bedroom, as I can’t shake the constant feeling of tiredness.
When I saw the doctor to get my bloods done recently, I found out my red blood cells are low again, which means I am on medication for another six months.
I also know it’s going to be a really tough period over the next few weeks because it’s coming up to my mum’s birthday, as well as the day she found out she had cancer. It’ll be six years this year since she passed away from the disease.
I know you and your family have been through experiences with cancer and also bereavement, and I’m hoping you can give me some advice from coming through it all.
Coleen says
The thing about depression is that it makes you want to lock yourself away and isolate yourself from the world, which is the opposite of what you should really be doing.
Think of it as a toxic friend, telling you to shut people off and fight against it. Try to find the strength to say: “I’m not doing that. I’m going to the shops”, or, “I’m going to call a friend”. It’s really important not to shut people off.
I know that’s easier said than done, but mental health issues can’t be fixed with an operation and sometimes not even with medication.
The first step might be to see your GP and explain how you’re feeling and ask about counselling.
There is also so much support online these days – visit mental health charity mind.org.uk or bereavement charity cruse.org.uk. I know it can be hard to reach out, but don’t be too scared to ask for help. I also believe that doing something, anything at all, to keep your mind and body busy, is a really practical tool to stop you sitting and overthinking.
Tidy your cupboards – anything to occupy yourself rather than thinking.
Any physical activity, whether it’s cleaning or taking a walk in the sunlight, will get those happy hormones flowing.
Also, try some meditation. There are many apps and websites offering free guided meditations.
When you’ve been bereaved, anniversaries are always hard. It could help to talk about your mum with those who knew her and recall some happy memories to celebrate her life.
