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Wales Online
Wales Online
National
Neil Shaw

'I'm embarrassed to be a 44-year-old virgin and I fear boyfriend will leave me'

A concerned woman has asked for advice after starting a new relationship at the age of 44, and fearing her partner will not understand why she is still a virgin at the age of 44.

The woman wrote to Agony Aunt Fiona Caine to ask for advice.

She wrote: "I am embarrassed to tell you that at 44, I am still a virgin. All my energy has gone into looking after my mother, who was ill for much of her later life, and my career. I have been successful but it came at the cost of any sort of love life.

"I have now met someone who makes me happy. It looks like it’s becoming serious and I am worried that when he finds out that I am virgin, he will think I am weird or something. Is there anything I could do to make myself seem more experienced?"

Fiona replied:

"Do you really want to start this relationship by pretending to be something you are not? I think deep down you know this is no basis for an ongoing, trusting relationship. Why don’t you start as you mean to go on and simply be honest with him? Explain that you are inexperienced, and I am sure he’ll appreciate your honesty and be only too willing to support you.

"On a practical level, first intercourse can be uncomfortable and you might find it helpful to use a lubricant of some kind. If you still experience any discomfort, then do please speak to your GP.

"And please remember you have a lot more to offer a partner than just sexual experience. Not everyone loses their virginity in their teens or 20s, and that’s OK."

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