Dear Coleen
I’ve been in a relationship for six months with a really nice girl, who is literally the girl of my dreams. I’m 27, she’s 25.
I’ve always thought it’s too good to be true, as she’s really good-looking and I don’t usually do well with women. I felt like I was punching way above my weight to be honest.
Our sex life is amazing and we always have a good time when we’re together, but I have a feeling she’s cheating on me. We were in bed at mine on a Friday night, and it was just past midnight when her phone started ringing.
She looked at it and put it down, but I saw the call was from a guy called John. I asked who he was, and she brushed it off by saying he was just an old friend. I asked why she didn’t answer and why he was calling so late, and she said he was probably drunk.
She said he often calls to see how she is as she suffers from depression, and apparently he does, too, so they help each other with that.
She said she didn’t answer because she couldn’t be bothered talking, but I’m thinking it was something more. She also doesn’t always answer her calls when I ring her some nights, even after we’ve been texting.
Do you think she is cheating? I think she might be, but I don’t want to lose her. She says I’m being really paranoid and crazy, but I think it’s weird she has a lot of guy mates and I’ve never really had a girl mate. Who’s right? And what can I do?
Coleen says
I think you are being a little insecure. It’s only been six months and it’s perfectly normal to have guy friends, especially when you’re only 25.
Just because
you don’t have any female friends doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have boys as mates.
You need to be careful because if you question her every time her phone rings, it’s going to put her off you. She’ll start to feel suffocated and controlled.
In fact, she’s already called you out for being “paranoid” and this kind of possessive behaviour is really wearing for a partner. She’ll get to a point where she’ll think the relationship is too much like hard work and no fun any more.
And think a bit about your behaviour as well – if you’re calling her all the time, I’m not surprised she doesn’t pick up every time because what is there to talk about?
I’ll admit I’m not one for answering phones. I can text all day, but I get sick of talking and I’m always pulled up on it.
So, take a step back, focus on enjoying time together and see where things go.
Start to have a bit more belief in yourself – she’s with you for a reason.
