The first song I remember hearing
We used to sing Yellow Submarine at nursery school in the early 80s, even though the Beatles had split up years ago.
The first single I bought
I loved The Simpsons, although the only way to watch it if you didn’t have Sky was to rent a VHS with three episodes from Blockbuster. I loved Michael Jackson, too, so I bought Do the Bartman on 7in, which Jackson sings on and produced.
The song I do at karaoke
I’ve done karaoke with my sister. Her friends pick bands like Abba, so I like to do I Was Made For Lovin’ You, which is Kiss’s sort of disco song, and a halfway house between our favourite types of music.
The song I inexplicably know every lyric to
Blinded By the Sun by the Seahorses is such a brilliant song. Chris Helme started off as a street performer, and when John Squire had left the Stone Roses, he thought: “He’d be good.” Plus, he’s got the same name as my uncle, but with an E at the end.
The song to play at a party
I remember hearing Thriller by Michael Jackson at a kids’ party and having to leave the room because I found it too scary. So probably not that.
The song I stream the most
New York Groove by Ace Frehley has a good beat for walking to.
The song I secretly like but tell everyone I hate
Every time I’m in the back of an Uber, a song will come on and I’ll think: “This is incredible,” and Shazam it. And it will either be Ed Sheeran or Harry Styles. So when I’m in the back of an Uber, I’m a massive Ed Sheeran and Harry Styles fan, but I would never admit that in public.
The song I can no longer listen to
I made a short comedy film called Elephants. Africa by Toto was used throughout so I must have listened to it a hundred times in the edit. Recently I was at a wedding, and instead of a hymn, we sang Africa by Toto. It was funny listening to a bunch of people who had never heard it before trying to muddle through.
The best song to have sex to
Ace of Spades by Motörhead.
The song I wish I had written
I Never Cry by Alice Cooper – one of his ballads from the 70s when he was trying to be uber-mainstream – is such a sad song. It was the theme tune for my late 20s/early 30s.
The song that saved my life
I was going through a really bad breakup and would listen to Soldier Girl by the Polyphonic Spree. That whole album is pretty weird. I’ve never revisited it, but there was a period in my life when that was all I was listening to.
The song I want played at my funeral
Either Highway to Hell by AC/DC, or Angels by Robbie Williams. Just to cover both bases.
Nick Helm’s new show What Have We Become? tours until November. nick-helm.co.uk
