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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Zahra Khaliq

'I'm a gay single dad - people question me every day why I'm a father'

Single dad Joe Blackman has told how he is questioned every day on how he became a father by strangers after they learn he's gay.

The 23-year-old had his son Daice with a childhood friend who he began dating when he was 15.

After seven years of being in an on-and-off relationship, the 23-year-old realised he wanted to live his life openly and told his girlfriend that he was gay.

The two childhood friends are still close and Joe credits Daice's mum as being one of his 'biggest supporters' - saying she was happy that he'd told her the truth.

Since becoming single and embracing his sexuality, Joe has found himself having to explain how he has a child on a 'day to day basis'.

Joe was in an on-and-off relationship for seven years before choosing to live his life openly (Kennedy News and Media)

Meanwhile, his status as a dad has invited mixed responses on dating apps, with some singletons claiming he has 'too much baggage'.

But TikTok videos showing Joe embracing life as a dad have been met with widespread praise.

Joe said: "I don't think a lot of people get that I'm gay just from speaking to me, so when they find out I'm gay and a dad, they're just a bit like 'What the f**k? How?'

"I find myself explaining it on a day-to-day basis."

Joe says he already knew he was gay but his close friendship with Daice's mum meant they just found themselves in a relationship at a young age.

Joe said: "I met Daice's mum when I was eight years old. She used to train with me and we'd do lyrical contemporary dance competitions together.

"As we got older, our friendship grew and grew. When I was 15 or 16, we'd basically gotten to a stage where we knew we loved each other and we decided we'd give it a go.

Joe says his son Daice has given him the motivation to work hard everyday (Kennedy News and Media)

"We were together for about seven years. It was on-and-off, we had our ups and downs, but we were best friends.

"I knew I was gay but because we had such a strong connection and were so close it was just easy.

"There was never really a moment where we said 'do you want to be together?', we got together and it just didn't stop.

"We ended up having Daice together. It wasn't planned as such, but we both wanted children.

"After he was born we got to a point where we thought 'something isn't right'.

"I was growing up thinking 'I like guys'. In my mind, I knew things weren't working out.

"It was in early 2020 that we broke up. I think when COVID happened, it made me realise what was important. Life's too short to live it unhappily.

Joe always knew he was gay but always wanted children (Kennedy News and Media)

"It was an amicable split, it wasn't nasty or anything, we were really open and honest with each other. She's still one of my biggest supporters and my best friend.

"She was happy that I was honest with her, that I wasn't leaving to be with other girls, I just needed to be who I am.

"We spend so much time together, we still go out for dinners. I don't have Daice full time but I see him a lot. I'm very involved in his life."

Joe never had a formal 'coming out' and grew up hiding his sexual orientation as he feared being ostracised at school.

Joe said: "I always knew I was gay, ever since I was little. My mum said she knew since I was two.

"I was a huge Miley Cyrus fan and I always wore a little blonde wig acting like I was Hannah Montana - the signs were there.

"I think I never come out before because I already got bullied at school for being a performer so I knew if I said I was gay it would have been worse.

"I didn’t want people to think I was weird so I suppressed it for a long time.

"I knew but because I was so close with Daice's mum it was easy. It was like a friendship that just grew and grew.

"We ended up having a baby out of it and we're both really happy with how it happened.

Although Joe doesn't have son Daice full-time, he is very involved in his life (Kennedy News and Media)

"I never really had a 'coming out'. I never felt the need to sit everyone down and tell them I was gay.

"I was really down at the start of 2020, I just thought that I needed to change my whole life around.

"I just needed to get to a place where I was happy. We were at a point where we weren't really speaking, we were so unhappy. The relationship was over before it was over.

"I didn't need to tell her, she knew I was like a Hannah Montana-obsessed person.

"She just asked me one day if I'd date guys and I said '100%. It feels right, it feels right'. She was just happy that I was being open and honest."

Joe's status as a young gay dad has drawn a variety of responses in real life and online, particularly as he navigates the world of gay dating.

Joe says being a dad is massively rewarding (Kennedy News and Media)

Joe said: "You obviously get the people who say 'you're sick, it's wrong'. They'll say that because I'm a gay dad, but I couldn't care less. I am who I am.

"It's massively rewarding being a dad, my boy has made me who I am today. I was so down and my boy gave me the motivation to sort my life out.

"I look at life differently. I feel like I have a purpose and there's a reason for me to go out and work hard every day.

"I'm definitely looking to meet somebody. Some people think I might have too much baggage, but I'm open about having a son on my dating profiles."

Do you have a story to share? Get in touch at webfeatures@trinitymirror.com.

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