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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Courtney Pochin

'I live in UK's loneliest city - it sent me to a dark place but I still love it'

When I first moved to London in June 2018, many people from my small town in Norfolk said I'd be back before the year was out. They thought the city would be too big and too scary for little old me.

In some ways the were very right, but mostly they were wrong.

I fell in love with London. I enjoyed the constant thrum of activity, having an abundance of incredible food and entertainment options on my doorstep, and of course, the thrill that comes with living in such an iconic location.

Flash forward to 2023 and I'm still living in the UK's capital city, which has just been named the loneliest city in the country.

New research by co-living brand Gravity Co found that the city had the highest proportion of people living alone, with many Londoners spending solo evenings tucking into meals for one with their mental health at risk.

And while I may not live on my own (and couldn't afford to even if I didn't have a husband) I certainly don't disagree that it's lonely.

I moved to the city in 2018 (Courtney Pochin)
It's exciting living in London, but it can also be lonely (Courtney Pochin)

At times over the last few years, I've really struggled with feelings of isolation - the hustle and bustle of the city keeps everyone going and it means most people aren't free to hang out when you fancy it.

Trying to pin down friends often becomes an arduous task and you have to start planning months in advance to do something as simple as grabbing a cup of coffee together.

The Coronavirus pandemic made catching up with people much easier and what's tragic is that even though we were all physically isolated, I felt closer to some than ever thanks to the magic of Zoom calls and Facetime.

However, when lockdown ended but work from home continued, things took a turn and I found myself spending more time on my own than ever before.

My husband works in events so he had gone back to the office, but The Mirror building stayed closed for a while, meaning there was no buzz of a newsroom to be a part of and no Friday night drinks.

Friends also became busier and busier again as more and more things opened up.

I tried everything to combat the loneliness - even signing up for Bumble BFF and joining a popular Facebook community known as the London Lonely Girl Club in a bid to make more friends.

I went on meet-ups, going for drinks with strangers that were as nerve-wracking as any first date.

Try as I might though, I still felt lonely and ended up in a rather dark place, afraid I was the problem and something was wrong with me.

I love the hustle and bustle of the city - even though it causes problems at times (Getty Images)

Talking about my struggles has helped massively as many people had no idea I'd been feeling so low.

And while it's still very tricky to make plans with friends in London as everyone is always here, there, and everywhere, I'm definitely doing better than I was.

For one, I've come to appreciate the merits of a night at home alone. I now relish having an evening with nothing to do but curl up with some chocolate and a good book, instead of beating myself up for not having dozens of invites to glamorous events.

I've also realised that the hustle and bustle of the city, which causes everyone to be so busy all of the time, is actually one of the things I love most about living in London.

People are always in such a rush that they're not paying much attention to you. Some think Londoners are rude because of this, I know. But I think it's great.

If I'm being clumsy and make a fool of myself in the street, or if I look like I've been pulled through a hedge backward when nipping to the shop, absolutely no one cares. If I were gravely injured this would obviously be a major problem, but otherwise, it's doing wonders for my self-confidence.

You can wear whatever you want and not take yourself too seriously - people might look at you for a second, but once they've walked on by you'll be out of sight and out of mind as they carry on wherever they're going.

Being able to disappear like that from time to time is actually pretty liberating.

So yes, London can be lonely and isolating and people probably won't stop to help you if you're bleeding out on the road, but despite everything I still love living here and I don't see that changing any time soon.

Do you have a story to share? Email courtney.pochin@mirror.co.uk

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