After I have sex with my partner, I immediately start crying. I don’t even get to think twice before tears come out of my eyes. I would like to understand why. I don’t necessarily feel sad, I just feel so many things – I can’t really explain it.
It is not uncommon to cry after sex and this tendency is known as post-coital dysphoria. Some people even laugh after sex. In fact, a wide range of emotions can arise, triggered by hormones that can be released during a sexual experience such as oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins and others.
Having a sexual episode with heightened pleasure, plus an intense emotional connection to your partner, can be quite overwhelming. Once it ends, there can be a sense of loss and sadness as your feelings return to normal.
There are also instances where people experiencing problems or stress in their relationship, are ambivalent about their partner or have trust issues may be pitched into strong feelings of many different types after sharing intimacy with the person in question. Try to accept that this is just part of your sexuality … at least for now.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.
If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.
