Marrying someone, for better or worse, does mean dealing with their family. This can be a wonderful thing, a source of free food and babysitting, or it can mean having some folks who feel like they are entitled or your time and energy.
A woman vented to the internet about her MIL who would constantly show up uninvited and unannounced, to the point where she had to blatantly tell her to get out. Instead of having her back, her husband decided to throw a tantrum. We reached out to the wife in the story and will update the article when she gets back to us.
In-laws are often very very good at overstepping boundaries
Image credits: Alexander Grey (not the actual photo)
One woman had to kick her MIL out of the house after she kept showing up uninvited
Image credits: Specialist_Cattle597
Image credits: Selcuk S (not the actual photo)
The MIL joke has a long and storied history
While “annoying mother-in-law” jokes might be the territory of comedy-hacks these days, this worn out genre does have some pedigree. While many jokes in history go unrecorded, no doubt due to scribes being joy-kills, some of the first instances appear to come from the ancient Romans.
The poet Juvenal, in Satire VI, jokes that no one can be truly happy while their mother-in-law is still alive. Given the Roman attitude towards women, this is possibly one of the most intense cases of punching down ever recorded. Then again, there are enough horror stories about in-laws that at least some of these jokes start to truly make sense. It wouldn’t be the first time an overbearing mother was the reason for relationship drama.
This is evidence that these jokes go back even further, if this sort of reference can be made without further elaboration. For whatever reason, unlike a lot of other ancient humor, this sort of joke could be made today and still get a few laughs every and then. Fortunately, without context, it has started to appear more like hack-humor.
Interestingly, most “current” mothers don’t actually find these jokes that offensive. One survey found that actual mothers-in-law saw the jokes as inoffensive, although not particularly funny. The reasoning was simple enough, they believed that they didn’t exhibit this sort of behavior, so these jokes simply didn’t apply to them.
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Personal boundaries are very important in any kind of relationship
The real issue isn’t that this woman is the wife’s mother-in-law, although that complicates things. It’s that she seems to be entirely unaware of normal personal boundaries. While some might see them as limiting, the truth is that boundaries are actually entirely essential for healthy relationships. Otherwise, as this story demonstrates, one person will just develop more and more resentment towards the other. This is often the genesis for so many breakups and divorces.
This can be particularly difficult with family, as a lot of the “normal” social norms are not there. After all, your parents have probably changed your diaper, how exactly do you make them understand what they can and cannot do? In laws can be even worse, as the only one who can really stop them is your partner, and, as this story shows, sometimes one’s partner does not at all hold the same boundary.
As many of the commenters noted, most of us would never show up at a close friend’s home unannounced, so why exactly should an in-law feel like this is acceptable. Unfortunately, this woman is going to need to sit down with her husband and make him understand. The fact that he is “embarrassed” means that he has fully overlooked her needs and wants in this situation, which is not the stuff that lasting relationships are made of. There are countless failed relationships that originated in the things people chose to keep to themselves.
Some folks wanted more details
Most thought she was not at all to blame
A few thought her reaction was too much
Some thought she was absolutely in the wrong
