Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or perhaps even something heavier than a rock, like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson), you would know by now that the movie musical Wicked is in theatres. As someone who wastes a lot of useful time being useless on the internet, I have been absorbing the strange press tour and countless memes along with everyone else, and I’ve been on the fence about actually going.
I haven’t seen the stage version of Wicked but I know some references and enjoy musicals generally. I love some movie musicals (hello, Hairspray), but a lot of them are not great – and if they are bad, they are punishing. If I’m going to take out a second mortgage on my avocado toast to pay for a movie on the big screen, I need to be sure I’m making the right choice.
But I want to support female-led films, I want to support movies catered to audiences other than straight men and I really really want a big frozen Coke – so I went to look up session times. At this point, I saw something that put a big mark in the cons column. The runtime for Wicked – Wicked [part one] that is – is two hours and 41 minutes. I was aghast, I was agape, I was a gay woman who was surprised to see such a long runtime for a movie musical. Part One.
This is not simply a Wicked issue. It’s been a problem with movies for a long time, but this is the one that has tipped me over the edge, and I’m forced to speak up. Just like what happens to Elphaba! Maybe (I haven’t seen it yet).
I believe we have gone too far as a society in letting movie makers get away with pushing out movie runtimes. I see what you’re doing, going bit by bit, every movie just a bit longer. Don’t get me wrong, I think some movies can and should be three hours long. They are the ones who earn it, or they have a story and artistic vision that needs three hours to contain it.
We need three-hour movies so that Christopher Nolan can explore the inner lives of fascinating men and the surface lives of women who are near them. We also need some long pretentious movies so that straight film bros are out of our hair for a few hours. I personally also need them when I want to get the longest length of aircon possible in summer. What we don’t need is every single movie being pushed out to at least two hours.
They are trying to slowly and sneakily acclimatise us, like we are frogs boiling in water. But this frog won’t be boiled.
I do not need to go and see a romantic comedy or a comedy comedy or a slasher or an action movie and be sitting there for two and half hours or more. With long beautiful movies or long boring movies about men doing stuff, you know what you are in for. You are ready for it, willing, prepared, organising your pee breaks. I am not ready for that with Wicked, especially when the stage version (which I looked up in a huff) is two and a half hours in its entirety. Of course there must be reasons for it, but it seems most movies are heading in that direction, regardless of genre, or need.
We now have movies coming in between two and two and a half hours that never would have been that long if they were made 15 years ago. Most of the time it’s not because the genius auteur needs that long to fulfil some vision. Most of the time, it does not make the film better. It often actively hurts the film, and my bum on uncomfortable cinema seats.
Think about how many times you’ve watched a movie and thought that it could have been shorter. So many movies have parts or storylines or scenes that you can feel as you’re watching could have been cut, the movie streamlined, the experience more satisfying and exciting. I prefer quality (of movie) over quantity (of minutes), and in many of these cases, it’s just not balancing right. These long films can languish in a disappointing grey area between a tight and trim perfect 90 minutes and a considered and beautiful epic.
I rewatched Clueless, which is iconic, enduring and perfect. It is also a delicious one hour and 37 minutes, with not a second wasted, and nothing to be added that would make it better. It is possible to do, and I just want us to start gently pushing back against the trend, demanding slightly shorter runtimes, or at least making it known that we won’t stand by and watch silently (unless we are in the cinema), while they gradually acclimatise us, wasting our time with long drone shots or whatever.
I love seeing movies, I love cinema, and I want the best for all of us. Long movies aren’t necessarily better, aren’t necessarily longer for “us”, and it’s time we gently put our feet down. But I’ve heard enough judgmental queer men and musical girlies say that Wicked is good, and worth seeing on the big screen, that I’ll probably go and see it. It’s very hot outside and I could use a frozen Coke.
• Rebecca Shaw is a writer based in Sydney
