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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Jessica Taylor

'I hate my husband and told him I fancy someone else - and his response was amazing'

A woman who has written an "honest" book about married life says sometimes she "hates" her husband - but she won't be divorcing him any time soon.

Journalist Heather Havrilesky, 51, is based in the US and has penned a new book about her marriage to her husband of 16 years, Bill, the New York Post reports.

The pair first met in 2006 when Bill emailed Heather to praise her work as an advice columnist for New York Magazine.

After 16 years of marriage and two daughters aged 12 and 15, Heather admits marriage takes constant work and isn't always easy.

In her new book, Foreverland: On The Divine Tedium of Marriage, she explores the ups and downs of a long term relationship and doesn't hold back on the aspects of marriage that aren't a walk in the park.

The pair are incredibly close - even if they do drive each other mad (@heatherhav/Instagram)

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At points, she refers to Bill as "a pointy Lego brick underfoot", "a smelly heap of laundry" and "a snoring heap of meat."

Speaking to The Times, Heather said: “The reason I wrote the book in the first place is in our culture we love to tell stories about falling in love.

“There are a lot less stories and books and movies about actually making a relationship work over the long haul.”

She added she picked up several books about marriage which she ended up "throwing... across the room" because they felt "false."

Heather now hopes her book will be a refreshing changed of tone to the "carefully curated glimpses of people's lives" that are plastered across social media giving the impression people live in perfect happiness.

While she takes a stand against the way we typically write about relationships, Heather says she's prepared to face a bit of backlash.

She candidly admits in her writing that, during her marriage, she had a crush on another man - something that happens in many marriages but is rarely spoken about.

However, after developing the crush, Heather insists she told Bill about her feelings at the time, and he now has no problem with her writing about it.

Heather has written an "honest" book about marriage she hopes people will relate to (@heatherhav/Instagram)

She said that, although having the crush made her feel "sick and wrong," Bill was understanding about it.

"From the very beginning I’d told Bill every beat of the situation, to the point where he was like, 'I’m honestly bored of talking about this. You’ve never fantasised about anyone? This is just normal stuff. It’s not the end of the world'," Heather explained.

Throughout their 16 years of marriage, Heather says she and Bill have been completely honest with each other - which she believes has helped them stand the test of time.

Although they can drive each other mad, they're sure they're in it for life.

And while her book takes on the "monotony" of marriage, Heather settles on the belief that she believes in it as an institution.

Do you have a marriage story to tell? Email jessica.taylor@reachplc.com

Heather and Bill recently went through tough times when she was treated for breast cancer, but he was by her side every step of the way.

She admits she cringes at people who say their partner is their "best friend" but added Bill is "my best friend, my therapist and my mother, in one."

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