A sad plastic plate, shrivelled sausages, overcooked eggs and congealed beans wasn't exactly what I'd expected when I visited the Asda café on Smithdown Road, but it's what I got.
Many supermarkets have in-house cafés and, usually, they're pretty darn good. You're not going to get Michelin-star ingredients or a fine dining experience, but there's often a hearty menu of much-loved classics at reasonable prices.
With that in mind, I decided to visit the Asda café - Express Diner - on Smithdown Road one cold, snowy morning, seeking some comfort food on a budget - is anyone else counting down the days until payday?
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The café isn't the most stylish of venues, with cold, grey flooring made all the more stark and uninviting with the bright white tables and neon orange and green chairs. The décor creates an almost clinical feel, which I find jarring in a café or restaurant - it should be a warm, welcoming space.
Asda's Express Diner juts out from the escalators on the first floor, giving diners a full view of the store below which, while spacious, only seems to exaggerate the clinical atmosphere. There's industrial piping running along the ceiling, which could give the space a chic, industrial feel but instead just makes the café feel like a bit of an afterthought.
On the back wall, above the bins for waste and recycling, there's the words 'quality ingredients, great food', so I was hoping for a tasty breakfast. There was a mix of people scattered at tables throughout the café, from hordes of teenagers and workmen to families having a catch-up, so it clearly appeals to many. This absolutely lulled me into a false sense of security.
The menu is displayed above the counter, with 'light bites' including toasties, burritos, flatbreads, paninis and more all priced at £4.25 each, with even cheaper options like jacket potatoes and sausage rolls available, too. The café boasts a breakfast deal, which includes six items, as well as toast and a hot drink for £6.
I ordered a vegetarian version and opted for a refillable Coke Zero because I'm one of those weirdos who loathes tea and coffee in all its iterations. I assume the vegetarian breakfast isn't included in the deal, as my bill came to £6.75. Naturally, I was far too British to query the cost and meekly made my way to a table, and plonked myself down on an uncomfortable, garish chair.
The food arrived promptly, though it was one of the saddest looking plates I've ever seen. The six items included two overdone eggs, a dry hash brown, a tomato, a spoonful of congealed beans and two incredibly dry sausages. I didn't get any toast though I doubt it would have improved the breakfast much.
There were the familiar flavours we all know and love from a Full English, but not particularly well done. The lack of runny yolk from the eggs was disappointing, the hash brown was underwhelming which was a little staggering, because how can a hash brown ever be anything other than salty, carby perfection?
For £6.75, I didn't have overly high expectations but I still thought it would've been much more enjoyable than it was. Asda's own supermarket products are usually bang on the money and decent quality, so I was surprised by the poor and lacklustre serving on offer.
It's also a relatively small portion - I've been to many cafés with similar price points that offer much bigger and better breakfasts. Even though my bill at Asda only came to £6.75, I'm not sure it was all that good value considering how disappointing it was.
It was served on a single-use plate, which doesn't strike me as being environmentally friendly and while the cutlery is wooden, it's also single use. I try to find positives whenever I've eaten out anywhere but I'm really scratching my head with Asda.
Perhaps other items on the menu are much better, but I'm certainly in no rush to try them. Asda's Express Diner can be found on the first floor at Asda, 126 Smithdown Road, Liverpool L15 3JR.
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