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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Alexandra Carter & Nia Dalton

'I had kids late and don't regret it because I got to spend my youth partying'

A mum who chose to have kids later in life believes "age is just a number" and there should be a complete cultural shift in how society perceives older parents.

Samantha Heathcock, now 43, welcomed her first son Elliott into the world at the age of 35, and had baby boy Jake two years later, both with her partner Neil, 44.

The mum-of-two struggled to find support online during her pregnancies and felt as though her symptoms and concerns were dismissed by medics because of her age.

Now, Samantha is opening up about her negative experience and why the term 'geriatric' is "outdated and over-the-top" in the modern day.

She lived a party lifestyle in her twenties and established her career (Samantha Heathcock / SWNS)
Samantha had her second son Jake when she was 37 years old (Samantha Heathcock / SWNS)

Samantha, from Stourbridge, West Midlands, said: "It's not a very nice term, and I certainly don't see myself as geriatric.

"The way we act at our age now is so different to how it used to be. I think it's an over-the-top term to label advanced maternal age.

"I find it quite funny as well, as it connotes that you're over a certain age and you've passed it. You kind of feel like it's a joke, a bit tongue-in-cheek if you must.

"There needs to be a complete culture shit and change in attitude to how older mothers are represented and treated."

Having her kids in her mid-thirties meant that Samantha could live a "party" lifestyle and establish her marketing career in her twenties.

"If I had children earlier, I wouldn't have had the financial stability to be able to care for my children," she explained.

"I now look after myself better. I wouldn't have been able to give up my party lifestyle when I was younger.

"I was living the typical ladette lifestyle. I loved a night out, cocktails and drinks. I wouldn't have made a very responsible parent, that's for sure.

"When the partying stopped, I replaced it with travelling and had some amazing holidays.

"I am also now more emotionally mature, so this also reflects more positively on my children so I can support them better.

The mum-of-two struggled to find a support group online when she was pregnant (Samantha Heathcock / SWNS)

"Regardless of age, having a child is a major life change. Motherhood is still a shock and a challenge to the system

"“There is no rule book. Age doesn't make as much as a difference as people believe."

Samantha had a complicated first birth and was induced following meconium - where her unborn baby passed faeces in the uterus.

She gave birth to Elliot weighing 7lbs 2oz, at Russell's Hall Hospital in Dudley on July 4, 2015.

After giving birth to a healthy baby boy, Samantha made the tough decision to switch from breastfeeding to bottle feeding - because she struggled to get to grasp with it.

"I was in tears as I had just made the decision to switch. I had been told 'breast is best' all through my first pregnancy," she said.

"It felt like I had failed something that should be so 'natural'."

According to Samantha, she was met with hostility because of her age.

"The medical professional walked in and found me in tears," she said. "She saw bottles sterilising in the kitchen and then asked me in a confused voice 'I thought we were breastfeeding'.

"[They] told me that because I was an older mother, I was finding the transition into motherhood more difficult because I was more used to living life on my own terms.

"It was nothing to do with my age. Becoming a mum is hard whatever your age."

Medics dismissed her concerns because she was labelled a 'geriatric' mum (Samantha Heathcock / SWNS)
Samantha hopes other older mums don't feel alone like she did (Samantha Heathcock / SWNS)

During the first trimester of her second birth in 2019, Sam noticed that she was spotting, so contacted her GP.

Luckily, after the consultation, Samantha and her baby were healthy. However, they discovered that her belly was significantly larger than her previous pregnancy.

After investigations, they noticed she was producing a lot more amniotic fluid than normal.

"In the third trimester of being pregnant with my second child, it felt completely different," she said. "I was completely wiped out with exhaustion, it was concerning."

But when examined by doctors, she was told it was "because she was too old".

"They fobbed me off and said - 'you're that little bit older and you're going to be tired now'. I was completely in dismay," Samantha said.

"I was concerned about early pregnancy loss, and she just dismissed my symptoms as a result of my age and that a lot of people get spotting at the start of pregnancy.

"Age is just a number, and I felt like it was being used as an excuse.

"Thankfully, when I saw my midwife, she referred me for an early pregnancy scan, and everything was okay."

Her second son Jake was born without complications weighing 7lbs 5oz on 6 July, 2019.

"I didn't find much online support around at the time when I was pregnant for older mums that were like me," Samantha said.

"It's noticeable being the older mum in the room, and it's nice to not feel alone."

What do you think about the term 'geriatric'? Let us know in the comments or email nia.dalton@reachplc.com.

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