Former Made In Chelsea and Celebrity Big Brother star Ashley James has confessed she once found parenting and baby stuff "boring" as she explained how her relationship with toddler son Alfie has developed. Ashley, who is expecting her second child with boyfriend Tommy Andrews, admitted she once felt like she'd "ruined her entire life" giving birth to her first child in January 2021.
In a frank post on her Instagram Story during a trip to the Maldives, Ashley opened up to her followers to say that she used to dread having to spend time with Alfie for long periods and there were times she found herself wishing she had her "old life back." Sharing a snap of the doting mum gazing lovingly at her boy, she made clear that she has started to "really enjoy this little dude's company."
The DJ received messages from fellow parents to say her feelings were "normal" as they also shared their own stories. She wrote: "Can I say something that's probably a bit controversial but maybe lots of people feel this way? 'I'm starting to really enjoy this little dude's company. I've always loved him and been a really good and attentive mum. But I found a lot of the baby / parenting stuff quite boring.
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"I'd dread being on my own with him for long periods. I'd find myself just wishing I had my old life back or felt like I was having to pretend to enjoy motherhood when I really really didn't enjoy most of it."
She explained: "I mean the newborn days were great as it was just a lot of sitting around watching films with my boobs out. But entertaining him from around 6 months I just found a bit dull. Like I was having to pretend to be into baby stuff."
She went on to say: "But now I find him really fun to be around. It feels like we are interacting. I love hanging with him: reading, playing, or just following him around.
"It's nice watching him experience the world and learn things. It feels more natural and less like a chore. He's funny and kind and pretty awesome and I don't mind not doing the old stuff."
Ashley, who was a housemate on CBB in 2018, shared some of the responses in another post alongside a photo of herself proudly cradling her son. "Honestly, I wish motherhood wasn't so glamourised and also instead of all the negative just you waits it was just more common knowledge that it's ok if you find a large part of parenting boring or monotonous but that they do get more interesting," she wrote.
"Naturally there will be lots of people who love the baby phase as they just love all the baby things. It certainly wasn't me, even though I'd say I've always felt very intune with my maternal instinct.
"When I felt so much regret and like I'd ruined my entire life by deciding to have a child (I was open about the fact I never wanted or envisioned my life with kids) so many people did the whole negative just you wait thing.
"And that nearly sent me over the edge, because whilst inevitably there are always challenges, for me it has got so much better. But telling someone who is practically suicidal that it will only get worse is so harmful!
"Anyway I'm sharing some responses because I genuinely didn't know if that would be too controversial a thing to say and turns out its entirely normal!'" Ashley told one supporter "I keep forgetting that I was a mum in lockdown and that's mad that we did it in solitude."
And she said about preparing to welcome her baby girl: "Even being out with the baby girl will for sure make such a difference and will no doubt make me feel much less lost in it all. But also the first time I was like - it can't be so hard can it? My life won't change that much will it? Whereas this time I'm just prepared for chaos in the knowledge it's temporary."
Ashley. 35, said she decided to have another baby after being reassured by a friend's mum who reached out once when she asked about "if people regret motherhood." Ashley explained: "I still think about her words a lot when I'm going through tough times and her words were one of the things that encouraged me to have another baby.
"She said something along the lines of: of course when you ask people in our stage of life if they regret motherhood lots will say yes. "We're sleep deprived, we have to give up so much of our independence and the things we love.
"Everything from our hobbies to our careers can take a backseat unless you have a lot of support. (Even then children want their parents and it's important for healthy attachment).
"But she said to me: when you get older you can do all the same things you could when you were child free. You can lie in, binge watch series, travel with friends, go for dinners ...whatever it is you miss right now. She said as she deals with ageing parents and getting older, her children keep her connected to her youth. They are a source of joy. They're her friends. They're her soulmates."
Ashley added: "I think about it a lot during the hard parts of these years." And she said: "PS I still think you can be happy child free but this is for anyone who needs to read this who is going through a 'wtf have I done' phase which I know is more common than we're led to believe."
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