Weddings take a lot of shapes and forms, but the main thing they do is bring people together. Or at least, they’re supposed to.
Last week, Reddit user FreekDeDeek shared an awkward experience from a friend’s wedding, where she was invited to both the ceremony and late-night reception but was excluded from the dinner in between.
While she initially brushed it off, the realization that other mutual friends were included left her feeling sidelined. As she sat alone in the cold with a sandwich, she couldn’t shake the nagging question—was she truly welcome, or had she missed a silent message?
This woman went to see her old friend get married, but she wasn’t entirely sure if the couple wanted her to be there
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
So she told her story online, hoping others would help her make sense of it
Image credits: Gardie Design & Social Media Marketing/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: FreekDeDeek
Clarity is crucial when you’re inviting guests to different parts of your wedding
Traditional etiquette says that anyone invited to a wedding ceremony should be invited to the reception as well, but that doesn’t apply the other way around. That means that you can bring your dreams of a small, intimate ceremony with just family to fruition while still getting to plan and throw a party with all of your friends (and without breaking any major rules along the way).
According to Sakshi Karambelkar, who is an all-inclusive, fine-art wedding stationery designer and the founder of Inquisited, “Two separately worded (but perhaps not separately designed!) invitations are always recommended in this scenario, with one having the ceremony plus reception language and the other only having reception language.
“Another option that would work well is to design the invitation as a reception-only event, and include an extra ceremony invitation card in the suites of those invited to the ceremony,” she explained.
It sounds like the wedding our Redditor went to should’ve had separate invitations as well.
Image credits: Anita Austvika/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Karambelkar said couples must choose the correct phrasing for every guest—and by providing clarity, they should also be able to reduce misunderstandings.
Planning the overall reception timeline correctly is key. Newlyweds need to make sure they allow ample time for everyone to arrive at the reception at the same time, but squeezing in too large of a gap between events can create logistical and emotional challenges for guests.
To avoid this, couples can—and perhaps should—offer suggestions for how guests can spend the time rather than leaving them to freeze outside for hours.
If the Redditor didn’t understand where she stood in the couple’s plans, it’s very likely because the messaging wasn’t clear enough.
As people reacted to the story, its author answered their biggest questions
And the opinions were quite mixed
Some also shared their own similar experiences
