When your family members are getting married, it's a really special moment and one you'd really be looking forward to. You'd want to help them pick out a dress, sort out the perfect hen do and just ensure they have the most perfect day possible.
One man took to Mumsnet to explain why he paid for two of his sister's weddings but refused to do the same for his eldest sister. He revealed that their dad died when they were young and so he took on a 'fatherly role' in certain situations, and one of those situations was his sister's weddings - but he wouldn't do it for the last one to get married.
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He wrote: "I have three sisters. Sister one is 35. She’s the main one here so I refer to her as Catherine. My other sisters two and three are ages 27 and 29. I am 34. Our dad died when I was 17. As I was his only son and older the younger two I took on a sort of fatherly role for them in certain situations.
"One of them being my sister's weddings. When my sister two and three got married I walked them both down the aisle and gave them away. I also paid for their weddings.
"Meanwhile, Catherine has always said her entire life that she never wanted to get married and was anti-marriage so it never came up. Until last month when my sister announced that she is getting married. She and her fiancé have apparently already picked a wedding date (they want a winter wedding on the same day they first started dating). They have also already booked their venue and caterers. She is expecting me to reimburse her the costs.
"The thing is my wife and I are expecting twins. We hadn’t wanted to tell our families until far later in the pregnancy because it is high risk. My wife and I also live in the states. Given that she would be heavily pregnant by the date of the wedding I do not want to be halfway across the word in a different country from her. Also due to the many upcoming expenses we are expecting I will also not be able to afford to pay for Catherine’s wedding.
"For those above reasons my wife and I agreed it would be okay to let Catherine in on the secret about the pregnancy so she would know that I wouldn’t be able to be there or contribute much to the costs.
"Catherine did not take it well at all. She says I am being unfair and playing favorites like always ( I think she says that because I looked after them more because they were younger). She says I should have planned better by telling everyone sooner about the pregnancy and that I should have had money set aside for her wedding because they can’t afford the wedding themselves and she probably won’t be able to get her deposits back.
"She also says that since my wife's due date isn't for another month after the wedding that it shouldn't even be an issue. She is now saying she will cut me off if I don’t treat her equally as our other sisters and come to the wedding as well as pay for it. Am I being unreasonable?"
People were shocked at the demands his sister was making.
One wrote: "You aren’t being unreasonable to not go. Neither are you being unreasonable not to pay BUT given you paid for your other siblings I can see why your sister isn’t impressed."
Another said: "You're not being unreasonable in principle, but you did make a rod for your own back by paying for your other sisters' weddings. Catherine should have asked you first and shouldn't be losing her s*** over the pregnancy etc, but given that you happily paid for your other sister's weddings I can see why she imagined you'd pay for hers as well. She's in the wrong, but it's one of those where I can see how the problem has arisen.
"Is your family ultra-conservative/traditional? I can't imagine most families expecting a brother to pay for his sister's weddings just because they were the only man in the family. Do you have a mother? If so, why didn't she pay/isn't she paying?"
One Mumsnetter wrote: "I think you're both being unreasonable so can't vote either way! I don't think you can do that sort of thing for two of them and not the other, no matter how vocal she might have been about not wanting to get married people are entitled to change their mind. But she's also being highly unreasonable in not consulting you before going ahead and booking things."
Do you think he's being unreasonable? Let us know in the comments.
