She's lived more than half her life in the shadow of tragedy.
In the summer of 2007 Carly Barrett should have been excitedly planning her future while looking forward to her first holiday abroad with friends.
But at the age of just 16 her world was turned upside down by her beloved big sister's murder.
New mum Samantha Madgin, 18, was stabbed to death by 15-year-old stranger Jordon Jobson in Wallsend.
The murder left all of Samantha's loved ones with a lifetime of grief and heartbreak from which they will never recover.
Today Carly has lifted the lid on the ongoing impact knife crime has on the families of victims as she reveals what it is like to lose a sibling to violence.
And the 32-year-old has told how Samantha's murder changed the whole course of her life.
She said: "I had to grow up overnight. I've just turned 32. That's half of my life that I have lived without Sam. I always think about what it would be like to have a sister now.
"But I didn't get that chance."
Samantha was a proud new mum to baby Callum before she was killed.
On August 2, 2007, Carly had agreed to babysit the 10-week-old at her sister's flat so that Samantha could enjoy her first day out with friends since giving birth.
But as Samantha and her friends made their way home the young mum fatally crossed paths with Jobson, who she had never met before.
Samantha had been trying to act as a peacemaker after a disturbance broke out in the alleyway behind Victoria Avenue and Albert Avenue, in Wallsend.
But Jobson, who had been drinking vodka and taking cocaine, then armed herself with a serrated kitchen knife and launched a ferocious attack on her unarmed victim.
Samantha was stabbed multiple times with one of the blows piercing her lung and severing a major artery near her heart. Her injuries were so severely nothing could be done to save her life.
Carly discovered something had happened to her sister when a friend of her dad came to Samantha's flat. But at first she had no idea of the true horror that had hit her close knit family.
"I was babysitting that night. One of my dad's friends had came to Sam's flat and said she had been in an accident," she explained.
"My dad and my brother came and picked us up. They didn't say anything and I didn't ask.
"But when I got to the hospital and I seen my mam I knew straight away."
The days and weeks after the murder remain a blur for her family.
While battling her own shock and grief and trying to support Carly and her son Lee, Samantha's mum Alison also took over caring for newborn Callum.
Alison, now 57, admits that she still feels guilt about the impact Samantha's murder had on her other children.
"It was really hard. I can't even remember most of the days after," she said. "I feel guilty because I could never be the mother I was to Lee and Carly that I was before.
"I don't even think I cooked a meal for two years."
Alison said she tried her best to shield Carly from what was going on in the weeks after the murder. Carly had been due to go on holiday to Ibiza with a friend's family and Alison decided she should still go.
"Looking back now I would have done exactly the same as a mother, " said Carly. "It was my first holiday with my friends. It was strange."
Weeks after her sister's death Carly picked up her GCSE results, marking the first of many happy milestones she should have been able to share with her big sister.
Carly had planned to go to university and dreamed of a career in nursing.
But unsurprisingly her studies, at St Thomas Moore suffered as she continued to deal with the trauma of her sister's murder.
"My plan was always to go to sixth form. I was thinking along the lines of nursing, but then sixth form didn't really go to plan," said Carly.
"I did well in my GCSES, but with my A-Levels everything was going on with the court case
"The school were really good though." They knew I was struggling and I ended up doing three years in sixth form."
Full details of Jobson's horrific attack on Samantha were revealed as the teen stood trial for in early 2008.
Jobson, from Walker in Newcastle, was convicted of murder and jailed for life. She was originally handed a minimum term of 15 years. However, after two separate appeals, that was reduced to 11 years.
Carly says that she struggled to get her head round what had happened to her sister.
"It was a shock. Going back 16 years stabbing wasn't really a thing especially in Wallsend," she explained.
"Especially with it being Samantha. A lot of people would think, if someone had been stabbed then they were part of a gang, or part of a group. As time went on, and we found out what went on, what I couldn't get my head around was that she and Samantha had never spoken to each other, that there was no reason for it, she just killed her. And she was a year younger than me.
"When she got released I felt like I was looking over my shoulder," she said. "I was scared of bumping into her. I wasn't sure how I would react. I'm still not sure how I would react."
But seeing the killer brought to justice did bring the family some comfort.
Carly said: "That's probably when I found my respect for the police. I have massive respect for the police."
And Carly was also inspired to pursue a career where she could use her family's horrific experiences to help others.
"I ended up getting married and having children, but once my children started school I went to university to study criminology and sociology," she said. "I'm hoping to get a job within the police."
In 2017 Samantha's family was hit with a further tragedy when her brother Lee died at the age of 31 after contracting sepsis following an operation on his foot.
"I didn't think for one minute that it could happen again," said Carly. "When Lee died was when I was starting my access course at college and I nearly gave that up. But then there was something in me that said I couldn't let my life be ruined. I had to live for Lee and Samantha."
In 2019 Alison and Carly marked what would have been Samantha’s 30th birthday by setting up Samantha's Legacy.
The organisation, which relies on donations to keep going, offers knife crime workshops in schools, support to families and a tranquil victim's retreat for those who have lost loved ones.
Since then Carly and Alison have told Samantha's story to hundreds of school children in a bid to make them understand the real consequences carrying a knife can have, and their work continues.
Earlier this month the Chronicle launched its Stop Knives Taking Lives campaign. Backed by police, politicians and victims’ families, we are calling on everyone in the North East to come together to help tackle knife crime.
Read next:
- Armed, dangerous and at large: The knifemen behind these terrifying blade attacks are still walking the streets
- "This doesn’t have to be inevitable”: Kim McGuinness on how we still have a chance to stop North East knife crime surge
- 'It's always there' - Murdered Gateshead schoolboy's sister lifts lid on lifetime of grief
- Dad of attempted murderer Jessica Whinham vows to stand by her after horror crime conviction
- 'As soon as that knife went in there was no bringing her back': Sister of stabbed Jodie Wilkinson pleads for end to violence
