A poorly timed joke can turn a pleasant situation into an awkward standoff. But a bad prank might even threaten someone’s life.
A few days ago, a woman turned to the subreddit r/AmIOverreacting for help processing a recent falling out with her husband.
However, after she described how he tried to ‘monetize’ her sedated and confused state in hopes of going viral, people were shocked that a loving partner could actually attempt such a stunt.
This woman is unsure if she can fully trust her husband after the practical joke he tried to play on her
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages/Envato (not the actual photo)
Even though he’s begging for her forgiveness
Image credits: ktsimage/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Prostock-studio/Envato (not the actual photo)
Experts say that people who do these things to their partners often lack empathy and self-esteem
There’s a term for what the Redditor’s husband has done to her—the exploitation of one’s most intimate relationships to gain online influence and popularity—and it’s called cloutlighting.
According to Jade Thomas, psychotherapist and founder of Luxe Psychology Practice, people who engage in this kind of behavior tend to display a lack of empathy if the other person displays or shares an emotional, negative, or upset response, explaining that it can lead to a “lack of boundaries or disrespecting of boundaries.”
Image credits: A. Calvar./Unsplash (not the actual photo)
“At the end of the day, relationships are supposed to be of a team dynamic, and if one partner is constantly the target of a joke or prank and not finding it funny, it must be questioned whether it is emotionally and psychologically abusive,” Thomas said.
However, the author of the post said that her husband hasn’t done anything like this to her in the past and that he was very, very apologetic during the aftermath, so there is probably a considerable chance that he doesn’t belong to this group.
Another study from 2020 found that regardless of age, cloutlighters usually have low self-esteem and are “higher social media users.” Interestingly, males are over four times more likely to engage in cloutlighting than females.
After her story went viral, the woman posted an update on the situation
Image credits: ThrowRA190912112
Cloutlighting isn’t a new phenomenon, but social media is really exacerbating it
Gary Mortimer, professor of Marketing and Consumer Behavior at Queensland University of Technology and Louise Grimmer, senior lecturer in Retail Marketing at the University of Tasmania, say there is nothing new about filming and publishing a practical joke.
“US reality show Candid Camera first aired in 1948; like the more recent Punk’d and similar shows, they feature footage captured by a hidden camera of everyday people (sometimes celebrities) caught up in pranks or hoaxes,” they wrote.
“However, social media has created a platform for people to use pranks as a means of generating more clicks and … popularity: clout.”
Today, anyone can be a comedic celebrity, and YouTube is full of them, oftentimes to other people’s detriment.
“While many of the skits appear highly produced, the genre of cloutlighting pushes beyond the boundaries of comedic entertainment, towards promoting intimate partner abuse and misogyny,” Mortimer and Grimmer explained.
So, why is there a demand for it? Passive voyeurism, the academics say.
“Many of these cruel and embarrassing clips have been downloaded hundreds of thousands of times, suggesting our appetite for passive voyeurism. Just as reality television illustrates suffering and loss and a preoccupation with personal trauma for the sake of entertainment, clout-lighting videos do the same thing.”
People think this woman’s reaction is perfectly reasonable
