In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, one man explained why he was divorcing his wife of 20 years after finding out what she did when they were in a long-distance relationship.
“We were long-distance for her first two years of college while I was in high school and did one year at community college, then we went to college in the same city for a year, and have lived together since. We got married the summer after I graduated college,” he began the viral post, which was shared on 7 January.
However, the man recently learned what his wife was doing during those two years they were long-distance. He explained that the news came out during a dinner with his wife’s college friends, where she didn’t want to admit that she and her now-husband were dating while she was in college.
“Her old college roommate commented that it was crazy that we met in high school, had a few wild years in college, then ended up together. I played along and commented that I didn’t know if my wife was as crazy as I was,” the husband wrote.
Her old roommate then pulled him aside saying that he should have “an honest conversation” with his wife about what really happened when they were in a long-distance relationship. When the two were alone, his wife avoided the topic until she eventually admitted the truth.
Am I wrong for ending a 20 year marraige because I learned my wife cheated on my while we were dating?
byu/ParticularLibrary618 inamiwrong
“The next day she came over and admitted to sleeping with ‘several’ men during her first two years at college,” he wrote. “She said she didn’t consider it a big deal at the time because we were long-distance and she didn’t think a high school romance would last. I pressed for more details and she said it was at least 10 different men including at least three guys she introduced to me as friends when I came to visit on weekends and one guy she was still in contact with. I told her that I wanted a divorce and would be starting the paperwork as soon as I could (which I did on January 2nd).”
He admitted that both of their families didn’t think it was a good idea to end their marriage over “a few mistakes” she made two decades ago. But he clarified that his anger had stemmed from his wife’s transgressions not being a one-time mistake, but rather with multiple men for many years. “The fact that she continued to maintain relationships with these guys right in front of me was an unacceptable amount of disrespect,” he wrote.
Many people took to the comments to defend the man’s decision, also pointing out that she kept in constant communication with the men she had cheated on him with.
“She cheated and lied to you then, maintained contact with at least one of her f*** buddies, and introduced you to many of the guys that were banging her. That is not only dishonest but cruel. I think you are 100 per cent in the right. Who knows what else she’s done. You have no way of knowing,” one commenter explained.
Another commenter agreed, writing: “If she slept around in college, and told you about it and you reconciled... No issue there. But she kept it from you. She kept in contact with one. She introduced you to her flings as friends at the time! That’s completely messed up. You are right to divorce her. She lied to you for 20 years. She does not respect you now or then.”
