CHLOE Blake describes it as a "silent friend" sharing the tips girls - and their mums - wished they'd known before they started high school.
The Glasgow-raised New Lambton mum of three said she'd been buoyed by the response to her book A Girl's Guide to Starting High School, a "passion project" she started writing in lockdown after her daughter Libby started secondary school in 2020.
"When my older son went to high school it just did not seem that big of a deal, he didn't really talk about it that much and he seemed to blend in and it was all fine," Ms Blake said.
"When Libby went to high school she was the only one out of her friend cohort that went to the school she goes to. It was the challenges and expectations of a new school environment, expectations with school and homework and just trying to find your tribe that you gel with and want to hang out with and that give you energy. She was very open about the fact that it was hard and I could see that it was hard.
"The two of us were on the phone to my mum saying 'Do you remember going to high school?' I vividly remember going to high school myself and how nerve racking it is. It's a really important moment in time and the more confident every single girl is, the higher the likelihood they will have a happier and better experience.
"They all forget every single one of their peers is in the same situation, they think they're the only one."
She said girls lost 30 per cent of their confidence between the ages eight and 12 and tended to "overanalyse". She said a local psychologist had told her year seven was a "significant challenge" for girls and year nine was for boys.
Ms Blake drew on her experiences as a leadership development coach, consultant and workshop facilitator to write the book, which is also part journal.
"As much as the book is very niche and for a specific stage in a girl's life, the tools are lifelong," she said.
"The idea is it was written to be a girl's silent friend... I want it to be a toolkit for any girl that wants to be as confident as they can be in starting high school, I want them to be more self aware because when you're self aware you can understand others better too."
The book helps girls identify their strengths and values, build confidence and resilience, focus on what they can control and consider how they manage exercise, food, screentime and study. It includes advice from women drawing on what they'd wished they'd known, plus covers navigating tricky social situations and changing friendship dynamics.
"When someone has decided they're not talking to them and freezing them out, it's so easy to get into a vortex of self doubt," she said. "[I'd like them to think] 'I can't control how they're behaving but I can control how I am behaving'."
She encouraged girls to be true to themselves and not change "so much for others that they become a shadow of their former self". She urged them to find friends they felt comfortable and could be themselves with and to understand what "fills your cup" - by process of elimination if necessary- and keep doing this. "Let your inner voice be the kindest voice you hear," she said. "Practice self empathy."
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