In every family, there’s usually one person who is the butt of jokes. But imagine living in a house where everything you say or do is met with a mocking laugh every day. Does it still remain a joke?
For one mom, it wasn’t. In fact, it became an ongoing nightmare. It all started with a nickname her husband created for her about a year ago— it was an invented word meant to symbolize stupidity. And the worst part? He remains unfazed by the hurt it’s causing her.
More info: Mumsnet
Nicknames are meant to be endearing, but sometimes when they cross the line, well, they could end in a divorce
The husband of the original poster made up an offensive nickname for her the year before, and now her son has picked up on the name and can’t stop calling her by it
Image credits: IneffableCat
The poster of the story finally snapped after begging her son to stop. He wouldn’t, and when she blamed her husband for calling her by that name, he passed the blame to their son
Image credits: IneffableCat
The poster of the story believes she’s being bullied in her home and is in the process of safely leaving the house
Image credits: IneffableCat
Even though her husband stopped, the poster of the story had to endure the constant mocking from her son until she decided she’d had enough
About a year ago, the Original Poster’s (OP) husband came up with a new nickname for her. The nickname was intended to represent a “stupid” person, and he didn’t stop there. He mimicked her voice, acting out what she supposedly did every day, and even added a laugh that sounded… Well, let’s just say it was a bit too stereotypically offensive for comfort.
At first, the OP tried to laugh it off. After all, it’s not unusual for couples to joke around. But the “joke” soon lost its shine. What started as an occasional teasing remark became constant, and she was getting more uncomfortable.
Enter her son. He’s a teen who’s on the autism spectrum, and he found the nickname hilarious. Soon, it became his favorite way to greet his mom. Morning, noon, and night, he would find a way to whisper the word in her ear, followed by the laugh. Over time, this became a daily routine.
After days of relentless teasing, OP finally snapped. She turned to her husband, reminding him that the whole thing was his fault. It had been his idea to create the nickname in the first place, and now she was sick of it.
Instead of taking responsibility, her husband blamed their son. According to him, their son was just stirring up trouble. Essentially, he refused to accept that he was the one who planted the seed that was growing into something way more damaging than a harmless family joke for her.
There were deeper sensitivities at play for the OP. She is also on the autism spectrum, and being called “thick” in the past has always been a painful experience for her. In fact, her husband is aware of this.
After the blow-up, her husband sent a text, apologizing for their son’s behavior. However, he still refused to take full responsibility, making his apology less than an “I messed up” kind of text and more of a “this isn’t really my fault” kind of text.
The OP returned with an update on her situation, and it’s clear she’s not backing down.
She’s planning to implement consequences for her son when he uses the insult by taking away his phone, his beloved gaming device. She knows it will hit hard.
But that’s not the only action she’s taking. The OP revealed that the incident with the nickname was just the “tip of the iceberg,” and she’s had enough in her marriage to her husband.
She has reached out to Women’s Aid and is working on an exit plan. The OP is already working on the logistics of safely leaving the house. She’s just waiting for the property to go through so she can escape the toxic environment once and for all.
The OP’s story raises an important question: where does one draw the line between playful teasing and harmful teasing? Everyone loves a good laugh, and family jokes are a thing. However, when the “joke” turns into a daily reminder of a person’s struggles or insecurities, then it’s no longer funny.
Psychology Today affirms that while teasing can be seen as a milder way of bullying, it can be positive or negative. Negative teasing involves hostility or aggression intended to hurt, humiliate, or harass someone.
And while teasing can sometimes be seen as something trivial, Marrriage.com reports that negative teasing in a marriage can damage trust and cause emotional pain, leaving lasting scars, whether intentional or not.
The OP turned to netizens to ask if she was being unreasonable for being upset about the joke, and they were quick to come to her defense by stating her husband and son are bullies, and affirming that her husband is clearly in the wrong. In fact, one user said “you and your son have a disability and your husband still thought it was appropriate to make a joke like that? That’s a non-starter for me.”
Another user mentioned that the OP had allowed the joke to go on for too long by telling them it was fine; however, the OP clarified that she had always told them it wasn’t okay.
What do you think about this situation? Have you ever been in a relationship where harmful teasing occurred? What did you do?
Netizens supported the poster of the story as they believe she is not being unreasonable for being upset and that her husband and son need to treat her with more respect
