Revisiting old sporting events and movies is an act that’s quickly become popular given the current COVID-19 climate of self-imposed quarantine.
So, whether you’re bored while stuck at home or just a super nerd like myself and can’t help but further dissect things, I thought it would be fun to rank some of our favorite characters (both fictional and non) on how well they’d do competing in modern mixed martial arts.
For the first installment, we’ll cover “Bloodsport,” which is currently streaming on Netflix.
Regardless of what your level of skepticism is when it comes to both Frank Dux and Hollywood’s telling of this story, it’s hard to deny the influence that the film carries over 30 years later, as you’ll be hard-pressed to find fighters who have never seen or don’t own a copy of this cult classic (for those unaware, this movie, to martial artists, is arguably the equivalent to what “Scarface” is to rappers).
The Kumite in “Bloodsport” features a plethora of fighting styles that give off strong UFC 1 vibes, so it feels like it’s both cheating and inviting to compare this childhood favorite to my current passion.
Nevertheless, as much as I encourage you to engage your nostalgic nerve-endings for this one, I warn anyone who applies “MMA math” to this article, as the rankings here won’t necessarily reflect the outcome of the tournament that took place in the film. Again, this is about how these characters would do in today’s MMA – not against each other.
So, without further ado …
****
No. 15: Sadiq Hossein
Discipline: Bullying?
Strengths: Making bad bets, being a jerk
Analysis: Don’ be surprised to see a question mark attached to many of the martial arts discipline sections in this article, as neither the movie nor the glimpses of most of the action offer much in regards to fighting style or concrete credentials.
Hossein, however, does seem to fit the classic bully archetype, for whatever that’s worth, as he earns this bottom-of-the-barrel ranking for his two meager appearances.
First, we see Hossein attempt to use his “fighting abilities” to strike leading lady Leah Ayres, which was thankfully thwarted by the fast hands of Frank Dux. As if treating women poorly (in a movie that doesn’t exactly do the ladies any justice in the first place) isn’t bad enough, Hossein then falls for a bad bet/borderline grift that shows both how slow and stupid he is.
Next we see Hossein draw Dux first in the Kumite, which pretty much ends up looking like an even shorter version of Anderson Silva’s debut in regards to accuracy. Unfortunately for Hossien, he showed zero ability to defend a basic punch or round kick before getting leveled (apparently in real life) by a Dux spinning elbow en route to trying to deliver a cheap shot.
I’m not even sure this guy picks up a win on the amateur MMA circuit, much less makes it to fight night without getting into a scuffle at the weigh-ins.
No. 14: Gustafson
Discipline: Board breaking?
Strengths: Stylin’ and profilin’
Analysis: I don’t think “board breaking” is even a style, but wood is pretty much the only thing we see Gustafson hit this whole movie.
Sure, he gets taken out by none other than Chong Li, but how on earth did Gustafson even make it to the third day of the Kumite in the first place?
I mean, the dude is basically fighting with pants on that even MC Hammer would think are too big, and that’s not even mentioning the fact that he can be seen shadow boxing (poorly) in the background of the “Dim Mak” scene wearing a sweater tied around his neck like a 90s preppie.
Regardless of what iteration of our sport you insert Gustafson into, it’s hard to see him being anything more than a sub .500 regional fighter who is used to putting over up-and-coming prospects.
No. 13: Reale
Discipline: Kung fu chameleon?
Strengths: Probably watches a ton of fight tape.
Analysis: With this film already having its European babyface (as well as a healthy serving of kung fu stylists), there’s seemingly little room for Reale, who gets disposed of by Toon Ip Mung in the opening round of the Kumite.
Although Reale seems to flow well with elbows in exchanges, he makes the questionable choice of getting into a foot checking battle with a better kung fu fighter – resulting in a poor Marcos Ruas impression that left him open for some big shots from Toon.
If you throw Reale in the early days of MMA, I could totally see him on the end of another unfavorable draw in an open-weight tournament (a la John Matua vs. Tank Abbott). And if you throw him in there under today’s standards, I doubt he even makes the walk before realizing that it’s far safer to just smoke weed and learn jiu-jitsu on the internet at home instead.
No. 12: Hung Chi-Sing
Discipline: Kung fu
Strengths: Sporting tattoos before it was cool
Analysis: Well, at least Hung Chi-Sing has the tattoo part of being an MMA fighter down, right?
Joking aside, Hung appeared to have a solid spread of offense to go with some of the faster hands on display at the Kumite. Unfortunately for Hung, he drew Chuan Ip Mung in the opener – who was probably the best pure kung fu fighter in the entire tournament.
Hung will undoubtedly fight hard no matter where you place him in MMA’s timeline, but I think he still struggles regardless.
If you insert him into the sport’s early days, I fear that Hung would be massively outsized. And if you pop him into the appropriate weight class of the modern day, I don’t suspect Hung can even make headway in the Chinese regionals (no offense).
No. 11: Sen Ling
Discipline: Karate
Strengths: Selling wolf tickets
Analysis: A fairly straight forward fighter in a fairly straight forward styles match, Sen Ling opens up the Kumite with a valiant but disappointing effort.
The karate-based fighter initially attempts to kick with Suan Paredes, until realizing this opposition’s varied muay Thai (and capoeira?) were far more effective at range. Ling attempted to adjust by landing a cheeky backfist on his opponent before everything was all said and done, but Paredes answered back with a hellacious uppercut (which resembles Sagat’s from the “Street Fighter” video game) that put the karate master away.
Although the fight scene ends with an unconscious Ling being buried by the betting slips of his disgruntled supporters, I seriously doubt a traditional martial arts fighter like Ling would get that much love from gamblers given what we saw a competent kickboxer can do to him, much less a grappler.
Ling is quietly a good candidate for action fights, but I’m not sure he has a meaningful MMA career past the late 90s.
No. 10: Ng Yuk-Sue
Discipline: Freestyle martial arts
Strengths: Actual martial artist and stuntman
Thoughts: As film lore has it, Ng Yuk-Sue (Yu-Shu Wu) was a legit badass martial artist and stuntman who was told to “take it easy” on Jean-Claude Van Damme during their fight scene.
A Hong Kong action director, actor and stuntman, Wu was essentially the Asian version of Brad Pitt’s character in “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” Apparently, Wu specialized in his kicking abilities (which looked good in his small sample size), so I guess it would make sense that production didn’t want him to upstage their star’s main strength.
Anyway, anyone who can mimic Cliff Booth in real life gets extra points with me, as I would not be surprised to see this “Ng Yuk-Sue” character have some success with Katsunori Kikuno-like kicks on mid-level opposition in most MMA eras pre-2004.
No. 9: Pumola
Discipline: Sumo
Strengths: Squeezing, smirking, no-selling damage
Analysis: Given his sheer size, Pumola does pretty well utilizing his sumo stylings during the Kumite, but I’m not sure he would translate to MMA as well as some suspect.
Don’t get me wrong: Pumola’s backbreaker move is freaking sweet, as you could definitely argue for him to be a bit higher on the list. However, I’m not sure if that move is even legal during any iteration of MMA, nor do I think Pumola’s persistent strategy of tanking damage is the smartest thing to do in today’s game.
Add in the fact that this dude was listed at nearly 400 pounds, and I don’t even know what weight class or era you would put him in. That said, I’d be totally down to see RIZIN sign Pumola for a one-off with Bob Sapp on New Year’s Eve to help fulfill our sports yearly quota for weirdness.
No. 8: Toon Ip Mung
Discipline: Kung fu
Strengths: Focused on fights, has a training partner
Analysis: One of the most focused fighters at the Kumite, Toon Ip Mung is not one to be distracted by liquor and ladies, as he and his fellow training partner – Chuan Ip Mung – are shown stonewalling the attractive leading lady early on in the film.
That type of discipline should translate well in today’s world of MMA, as those distractions exist in spades.
Toon doesn’t make it as far as (his brother?) Chuan, but the two show some of the most fluid kung fu in the entire tournament. Although kung fu sadly wasn’t one of the martial arts to put an undeniable stamp on MMA, I gotta suspect that Toon and his partner in crime put up a better fight than most (regarding this 1988 lot).
Still, it’s hard to see Toon having success past the early days of MMA given the susceptibility he shows to Thai-style leg kicks on the second day of the tournament. Granted, those leg kicks did come from Paco – who pretty much used Toon’s body to reenact Anderson Silva’s rematches with both Rich Franklin and Chael Sonnen.
Nevertheless, Toon is gonna have to get himself a ground game if he and Chuan want to stand any chance at earning the title of “Chinese Diaz brothers.”
No. 7: Chuan Ip Mung
Discipline: Kung fu
Strengths: Also focused, also has a training partner
Analysis: You can’t say that the Ip Mung boys didn’t come prepared.
If we’re sticking with the Chinese Diaz brother comparison, then I’m guessing Chuan is like the “Elite XC” equivalent to Nick Diaz. Chuan’s fluid volume attack gets him all the way to the third day of the Kumite, before running into Chong Li, of course.
Absorbing Chuan’s offense with relative ease, Li sadly dispatches of this character in such a way that doesn’t exactly allow Chuan the luxuries that Diaz had in regards to flipping everyone the bird on the way out of the building before going on to a mid-career renaissance.
However, if Chuan was afforded such an opportunity to revive his career in MMA, I doubt he makes it much further than his brother on the Chinese regional scene due to their lack of ground game (which is a common hole among this era of martial artists).
No. 6: Ray Jackson
Discipline: Drinking beer and hitting people
Strengths: Knockout power and optimism
Analysis: Although the discipline description above sounds like it could double for a Mickey’s malt liquor slogan in the Chuck Liddell era of our sport, it’s hard to deny that Ray Jackson is a natural when it comes to those things.
As far as hitting people on a high level goes, well … that’s another story.
Oddly enough, Jackson – who is also famously known for his role as “Ogre” in “Revenge Of The Nerds” – fights like the jock he formerly portrayed, misplaced optimism and all.
According to Frank Dux, the character of Jackson was based on two people: Richard Robinson (Japanese jiu-jitsu black belt) and Kurt Peterson (Sweedish karate champion).
Now, the reality of that story or these characters is not really relevant for this discussion, because Jackson essentially shows no sign of any martial art throughout the film – though he does do a pretty sweet “Uncle Phil” impression from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air mid-way through the Kumite when tossing an opponent off the platform.
Although Jackson would be higher on this list if the context were “favorite fighters,” his actual fighting ability could arguably have him ranked lower (I mean, did you see him getting schooled by an emaciated-looking Ray Liotta before landing that one-hitter quitter!?).
In fact, if it weren’t for Jackson’s undeniable finishing power (despite the questionable fight IQ that comes along with it), I would have a hard time seeing him amount to anything more than the American version of Harold Howard. Now, that’s no knock on either man, mind you; I just believe that – if Jackson loses his bandana in the Kumite – then he probably gets choked out by that thing the second he runs into a Gracie in early day MMA.
No. 5: Suan Paredes
Discipline: Muay Thai and… Capoeira?
Strengths: Athleticism, confidence, length
Analysis: Sagat from “Street Fighter” uppercut aside, Suan Paredes makes it this high on the list for both his style on film and fighting experience in real life.
A childhood friend of Van Damme, Morrocan-born actor Michel Qissi (famously known for his role as Tong Po in “Kickboxer”) actually trained and fought muay Thai in Thailand.
Although the writing and production of this movie appear to introduce Paredes as some type of capoeira fighter, Qissi smartly flows the movements as he mixes in a more traditional sect of muay Thai to his style. He attacks well to both the body and legs, as I could see his athleticism and length giving some modern-day fighters surprising problems, depending on the style.
Muay Thai, of course, is one of the best striking styles to deal with grapplers on paper, as grappling is not-so-quietly layered into the fighting format if you’re training proper muay Thai. For that reason, Paredes cracks the top five of this list.
No. 4: Ricardo Morra
Discipline: Monkey style?
Strengths: Elbows, barrel rolls, grappling
Analysis: I know what you’re thinking: How in the hell did this dude rank so high on the list?
To be honest, I could’ve gone even more hipster on you all by putting Ricardo Morra at No. 1 given that he’s the only fighter who shows even some semblance of a proper takedown.
Perhaps it’s the results of the comparison pool he resides in, but Morra actually does a fairly decent job of turning the corner on a double-leg variation early on in the Kumite, as he then follows up by taking the back of his opponent, applying just enough of an arc to his downward elbows for a finish that would probably pass under a lot of referee’s standards.
On the feet, Morra mixes in sporadic movement and barrel rolls that could easily score him frustrating wins in certain eras of MMA (e.g. Clay Guida vs. Gray Maynard). He also has an interesting shot selection of everything from sidekicks to knees that help him dictate his preferred range, as you could say that Morra was essentially the Ryan Hall of the Kumite.
If you throw him into the open-weight class days of MMA, then he likely ends up finding similar success before suffering a similar fate. But as far as more modern MMA goes, it’s hard not to give Morra a leg up on most of the “Bloodsport” board given his inherent grappling ability alone.
No. 3: Frank Dux
Discipline: Ninjutsu
Strengths: Doing the splits, Karate Champ arcade aficionado
Analysis: I’ve made some somewhat controversial and difficult grounds to tread here, as I got Frank Dux barely breaking the top three.
I know, I know. … Believe him or not, Dux is ultimately the reason we have this martial arts classic (that seemingly holds some type of perennial TV title in the rerun department).
However, skepticism of Dux’s story aside, Ninjutsu (or “Exotics” as UFC 2 competitor Scott Morris called it) hasn’t really translated well into mixed martial arts over time – much less been meaningfully seen since UFC 3 winner Steve Jenum briefly shook up the scene.
Jenum (who is one of my favorite unlikely heroes in MMA) was an on-duty police officer at the time, who also had ties to Scott Morris’ instructor, Robert Bussey (Robert Bussey Warrior International), as the two Ninjutsu fighters combined for a record of 3-2 inside the octagon.
Though I’m not putting it past Dux to achieve his own “Steve Jenum-like” story in this hypothetical, I’m also not sure his style translates that well to the modern day.
Not only have we seen explosive athletes who throw spinning stuff get figured out inside of the octagon (via pressure and grappling), but the way in which Dux wins a lot of the fights in the Kumite are illegal by today’s standards.
If you go back and watch the fighting montages in the film, you’ll see that Dux is landing a plethora of shots to both the back of the head and groin (even dropping into a full split at a certain point, just to a get a better angle at his opponent’s balls).
Now, if you threw an inside leg kick and it “accidentally” went low, then you can get away with low blows for days on end in today’s sport. But if Dux tries dropping into a full split in a high-level MMA fight – and doesn’t get immediately blasted for it first, of course – then it’s hard to imagine a referees hand not being forced to consider a disqualification at that point.
I also question Dux’s tactics when he’s the one at the end of a foul, as I’m not sure how well staring frustratingly into a camera and spamming crescent kicks would work if blinded in an actual cage fight (just let the ref take a look at it and get your breather, dude!).
In Dux’s defense, he does show a surprising sweep off his back and a neck crank attempt that – coupled with his athleticism – sets him apart from the pack. But unlike the movie, he’ll have to settle for third place, as I’m pretty sure Dux makes it about as far as Dana White’s Contender Series before getting figured out.
No. 2: Chong Li
Discipline: Freestyle
Strengths: Strong, mean, doesn’t need tissue paper
Analysis: I can already hear the Dux fanboys knocking at my door: “How are you gonna rank guys who Dux beat above him!?”
Again, just because the Kumite played out a certain way doesn’t mean those results have any bearing in how these fictional characters would do in MMA.
I labeled Chong Li as a “freestyle” fighter because – despite being prominently shown as a representative of Korea – Li shows little commitment to one particular style, as he is undoubtedly one of the most well-rounded competitors in the tournament.
Li has the hard kicks you’d associate with Korean fighters, while still displaying powerful punches and the ability to counter on the feet. Li also possesses the second best takedowns in the Kumite and, though his rear-naked-choke still needs a lot of work, even finishes a fight via submission (albeit technical).
Sure, Li’s fight IQ is just as culpable as Jackson or Dux’s given how much time he let a blinded opponent recover (in the finals of all times), but he carries an undeniable meanness that would translate seamlessly to any era of MMA. I’ll even go as far as to say that his methods of “dirty fighting” would be allowed more room to fly than most of his Kumite colleagues’ tactics.
Don’t get me wrong: I doubt the athletic commissions will be as lax about crushed salt pills or in-ring deaths as the I.F.A.A. (International Fighting Arts Association) was, but when comes to leg breaking and (alleged) throat kicking… well, those things can be classified as “accidental” a bit easier than the ole “full-splits low blow.”
Basically, I see Li as a similar archetype as Rousimar Palhares, having similar successes until everyone eventually figures out that his 1980s steroid physique offers him little protection to the body.
No. 1: Paco
Discipline: Muay Thai
Strengths: Actual fighter
Analysis: After seeing my selections for numbers two and three, I’m sure many of you figured out the direction I was going in here…
Popularizing muay Thai and Thai shorts alike to a pre-“Street Fighter II” audience, Paco – played by South African-born Paulo Tocha, who is of Portuguese and Italian descent – is largely credited for introducing Western audiences to the now-popular martial art.
Tocha also traveled to and competed in Thailand, training at Bangkok’s renowned Sor Thanikul Muaythai camp. Tocha continued to carry the flag for both muay Thai and mixed martial arts (to an extent) after “Bloodsport” concluded, as he went on open some of the first “mixed gyms” in California, making notable affiliations with Brazilian jiu-jitsu legends like Carlson Gracie Jr. and Jean-Jacques Machado.
Although those accolades should have little-to-no bearing in a discussion about fictional fighters, it’s hard not to see how ahead of the pack Paco is when watching all the Kumite competitors shadow box in the background of the previously-mentioned Dim Mak scene. And when going back to the previous point about “dirty fighting,” it’s difficult to deny Paco a tip of the cap when seeing him trick Dux into a false fist bump – something we still see being done today.
If the script doesn’t call for Paco to pointlessly reset his attack like a poorly programmed video game post-hurting Dux, then I think we see the Thai fighter give Chong Li a serious run for his money in the final.
As far as Paco’s MMA prospects go, I think he’s applicable to any era of MMA. I mean, are you telling me that you wouldn’t want to see Paco dropped into UFC 1 to leg kick the crap out of Gerard Gordeau? Or how about Paco vs. Takanori Gomi under PRIDE rules in the mid-2000’s!?
Heck, I’d even be as bold to say that a prime Paco would be a great plug-n-play action fighter under today’s standards. For those reasons, Paco takes the upset on this list.
