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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Lizzie Cernik

How we met: ‘We were on the same wavelength straight away’

‘I am so grateful for our bond’ … Dave and Naveen, at Clontarf Cricket Club in Dublin, 2019.
‘I am so grateful for our bond’ … Dave and Naveen, at Clontarf Cricket Club in Dublin, 2019. Photograph: Supplied image

When Dave joined his local cricket club in Dublin in 2015, he was hoping to get fit again. “I had been living in the city and working as an IT project manager since 1999,” he says. “But I hadn’t played any sports for a long time because I was recovering from major back surgery.” Another player suggested that he meet Naveen because he thought they would get on well. “I had no idea I’d be meeting my best mate,” says Dave.

Naveen had recently moved to Dublin from India, but had studied in Ireland years earlier. “I’d come back to start up a vegetarian street food business,” he says. “When I arrived, I joined the cricket club to meet people.”

They were introduced at a training session and immediately hit it off. “After practice, I was going home and Dave said, ‘Come for a drink!’” says Naveen. “I realised the social side was just as important as the sport.”

They bonded over cricket, but discovered they shared a passion for food. “Naveen is a hellishly good cook and if we weren’t eating his food, we would be exploring new places to eat together,” says Dave. “We were on the same wavelength straight away.”

“We used to go to a lot of different pubs, too,” says Naveen. “Ireland can be lonely, especially in winter, but Dave and I got on so well together. We always had something to chat about, whether it was meaningful or not.”

Dave says they would often “fall about laughing” and loved discussing sports. “It’s so funny because his personality changes completely when he plays cricket. He becomes fierce and competitive – but off the pitch he’s the nicest person ever.”

In 2018, Dave was made redundant and his mental health suffered. “I could see he was in pain,” says Naveen. “My business was struggling, too, so I understood what he was going through. We knew we could talk to each other about more serious things.”

They also supported each other during the Covid-19 pandemic and spent Christmas 2020 together. “I usually spend the holiday with my ex-partner and children but lockdown rules meant I couldn’t see my family,” says Dave. He joined a Covid support bubble with Naveen who cooked “a massive vegan Christmas dinner. It was one of the best days I’ve ever had. He was wearing a jumper that played Jingle Bells and I still laugh when I think about it.”

Unbeknown to Naveen at the time, Dave was battling an addiction to painkillers. “It started after my back surgery,” he says. “I’d been self-medicating with alcohol for years and was unable to stop taking codeine.” Last year, Dave confided in Naveen after making the difficult decision to return to Lancashire, where he is from originally. “I decided to go back to get clean,” he says.

While Naveen admits that he was “gutted” that Dave was leaving Dublin, he did everything he could to help. “He was in so much pain and when I found out about the drinking and the painkillers, I was really worried.” Naveen helped his friend to pack and took him to the airport. “He was a real rock for me,” says Dave. “If he hadn’t been there, I don’t think I could have moved because I was struggling so much with my physical and mental health.”

Now that Dave is in recovery, the two men talk regularly on the phone or via WhatsApp. “We make each other laugh,” he says. “If either of us are miserable, a phone call will always have us laughing again. We really trust each other.”

Naveen has missed his friend since he left. “Even when he has been facing his own struggles, he is always really friendly and wants to talk. I can’t wait to get my Irish passport so I can visit him in England.”

Dave describes his friend as the most generous person in the world. “Whatever you need, he will do it for you. He is the nicest guy I’ve ever met and I am so grateful for our bond.”

Callout

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