Madhumita has always been an avid Bollywood fan. When one of her favourite actors, Amitabh Bachchan, set up a blog in 2008, she was quick to start following it, and often left comments. Soon, she also began to notice replies being left by other readers, and a few women in particular caught her eye. “Mira and Kashmira always replied, and had something interesting to say,” she says.
Another commenter, who was based in Liverpool, suggested regular readers connect via email. “She sent an email to a few women, to connect a small group of us together because she thought we’d get on well,” says Mira. It turns out she was right. Madhumita, Kashmira and Mira got on so well that they quickly formed their own friendship trio.
“We shared emails practically every day and started getting to know each other,” says Mira. “The first thing I noticed was that Kashmira had a very considered view of the world – she became like our mother hen. Madhumita is a teacher and we shared a common interest in writing, plus she was very bubbly and enthusiastic.”
In December 2009, the three got the chance to meet Bachchan – and each other – in person in Mumbai, and watch his latest movie. Mira already lived in the city, while Madhumita travelled from her hometown in Rajasthan, and Kashmira came from Pune. “We got on even better in real life,” says Madhumita. “It was like we’d known each other a really long time. We saw the movie together and got our ticket stumps signed.”
Since then, they have continued to talk online or on the phone every day, forming a WhatsApp group in 2014. “Due to the distance, we have only met up a handful of times, but it hasn’t stopped our friendship from growing closer,” says Madhumita.
They have since visited each other’s hometowns and supported each other through major life challenges and changes, including Madhumita’s year-long move to the US to study for her master’s degree in 2016, and Kashmira’s health challenges. “I had a stroke a few years ago and am living with arthritis,” she says. “Recently, I became bed-bound after contracting severe dengue fever and I’ve been in my bedroom for eight months.” Despite her illness, she knows that she can rely on her two best friends for constant support. “We can open our hearts to each other. We all know we can say anything because we understand each other so well. It’s not every day you come across such kindred souls.” Mira is a pharmacist and Kashmira has always appreciated her medical guidance and support throughout their friendship. Kashmira, meanwhile, loves both of the others’ kind spirits: “Madhumita helps to rescue stray dogs, while Mira volunteers at an NGO to help underprivileged children.”
Although they no longer follow the blog, Mira is deeply grateful that it brought them together. “There’s give and take in friendships, but we have no expectations of each other,” she says. “We can share what’s happening and have different perspectives and there’s always a mutual respect and love for each other.” Madhumita adds: “People think it’s harder to meet new friends after a certain age, but we are here to prove it’s always possible.”
Kashmira says that even when they exchange stern words, she knows it’s a sign of selfless love: “They want me to make my life better and make good decisions. I just can’t wait to recover so I can travel and see them again in person.”
As well as their constant support for each other, Madhumita is immensely proud of her friends. “Mira says I am adventurous because I went to the US, but she is the one who took on an arduous trek to Mount Kailash [in Tibet] a few years ago. Her immense faith, I think, is what gave her the courage and the motivation. Kash’s faith is also a supreme power, and it’s what allows her to remain positive through unimaginable pain,” she says. “We have something really special, and now not one day passes without me hearing from them. I don’t think I have experienced that with anyone before.”
