When Stephanie moved to San Diego from London for work in 2014, she had no idea she would meet her best friend. “I was married at the time but my relationship was falling apart,” she says. “I grew up in Luxembourg, then moved to the UK, so most of my friends were still in Europe.”
Although she was enjoying her new postdoctoral position in neuroscience, the work was challenging and she was feeling isolated. One night in January, she went out with some of the PhD students. “It was a really cool whiskey bar. Work was stressful so I really wanted to relax.”
She got up to dance, and that’s when Aislynn spotted her. “I was out with my sister, and I noticed Stephanie straight away,” she says. “I turned to my sister and said: ‘Who is that girl? She’s not from around here!’ She looked so classy and her curly hair was all wild and free. Her style was so unlike anyone I’d met in San Diego.”
She decided to introduce herself: “I told her she was beautiful and she told me I was beautiful too,” she says. Stephanie remembers the outfit her friend was wearing: a fitted dress covered in stars. “I told her she looked like a galaxy. As soon as I said it I thought: ‘What did I just say?’ She seemed so cool and I’m a geeky scientist.” They chatted for a while, before exchanging numbers.
Like Stephanie, Aislynn had been feeling out of sorts over the previous months. “I’d moved to San Diego from Long Island, New York, a few years before – to work in hospitality, and because my sister lived there. Then my sister left to go to medical school, so I was feeling a bit adrift.”
The week after their meeting, the pair went for dinner and their friendship swiftly developed. “It really felt as if I’d always known her,” says Aislynn. “We started hanging out all the time. I barely remember the getting-to-know-you phase because it was so easy and comfortable.”
While Stephanie is reserved and academic, she describes Aislynn as more free-spirited. “On paper, we don’t seem like obvious friends, but at our core we’re very much the same,” she says. “We’re quite sensitive people and things affect us in similar ways – especially music and art.”
In 2015, Stephanie got divorced and Aislynn was there to support her. “I could always talk to her, but she never put pressure on me if I wasn’t ready or didn’t want to speak.” Likewise, Aislynn has also been able to rely on her friend when she needed her most. “I haven’t always made smart decisions regarding romance,” she says, “but Stephanie has never judged me. She has always been compassionate and accepting.”
Stephanie moved back to London for work in 2017, but it hasn’t affected their friendship. “We talk all the time,” she says. “Sometimes people drift away after a certain period in your life, but our connection goes beyond that. Even if we go a while without speaking, it’s like no time has passed.” As well as catching up via video, Stephanie makes regular trips back to San Diego, and Aislynn is planning to visit the UK soon.
“One of the qualities I appreciate most about Steph is her unique perspective on life,” says Aislynn. “She’s a scientist but she’s also very much an artist, which comes through in everything she does. I don’t think I ever had a best friend before meeting her, but it feels like the most natural thing in the world to be there for each other.”
Stephanie appreciates her friend’s zest for life. “She’s a force of nature and lives every day to the full,” she says. “Growing up, I felt that there was a lot of competition between women, and a lot of my friends were men. But Aislynn is the least judgmental person I’ve ever met and will always help me to take a step back and think about things. I feel so lucky to have met her.”
