When Laine moved to New Jersey a few years after leaving college, she was looking for a new experience. “I’m from Nashville, but I had friends on the east coast,” she says. In 2009, she found a job as a school administrative assistant. “I’d just started dating my husband and was living with friends. It was a really fun time for me.”
Frances was working at the school as a teacher, but Laine didn’t warm to her at first. “She seemed more organised and grownup than me. We’re both strong-willed, and we butted heads,” she says. “She asked me for things that I felt were too demanding, although in hindsight I was being a bit lazy.”
Frances, who had moved to New Jersey from California for her husband’s postgraduate studies, says she “subconsciously knew” that Laine didn’t like her. “I didn’t have any bad feelings towards her, but I sensed she wasn’t keen on me. I can be quite loud and energetic and sometimes come on a bit strong,” she says. When Laine announced she was getting married in 2010, Frances used it as an opportunity to become friends. “I really enjoy organising parties and celebrating people, so I threw her a wedding shower at school,” she says. “I also wanted to show her that I wasn’t the bossy person she thought.”
Laine was overwhelmed by the effort that Frances put into the shower. “I was surprised she did it, but it was really nice,” she says. “I think that was a turning point for me.” Over the next year, they became closer, regularly hanging out at each other’s homes. Their partners also met and got on well, and they would go for dinner as a foursome.
Callout
“Laine and I discovered we share a love of food,” says Frances. “She was also just so easy to talk to. Being around her is relaxing and I’ve never felt I had to work at the conversation.” Laine soon realised that her initial impressions of Frances were completely wrong. “She’s really kind and works so hard. I admired the fact that she is such a doer.”
In May 2011, they went on their first trip together. “My in-laws live in Ohio so I invited Frances and her husband to join us for Memorial Day weekend. It was such a fun, relaxing place to hang out.” By then, Laine had left the school and was working as a not-for-profit fundraiser, but their friendship continued to grow. “If anything, we became closer after we stopped working together,” says Laine.
Frances moved back to California in 2013, and got a job at another school. They maintained their friendship with weekly phone calls, as well as regular visits to Los Angeles. That year, Frances had her first baby, while Laine had her first child in 2014. “We now both have two boys. It’s really nice having children of a similar age and knowing you’re not alone in it,” says Frances.
They have also supported each other through family traumas, including the death of Frances’ brother six years ago. “He had cancer very young and died quickly. Laine was there for me throughout,” she says. “Families can be complicated, so it can be helpful to reflect with someone who is neutral.”
The women love to travel together when they can, meeting in different parts of the US. “We’ve been to Texas, New Mexico, Alaska, San Francisco and Denver. We both love gardening and always go to botanical gardens,” says Frances. “The pandemic was hard because we couldn’t travel, so we did lots of calls and texting.”
Laine loves how thoughtful Frances is. “She’ll send me gifts in the mail, or random texts to say she’s thinking of me,” she says. “No matter how busy she is, she’ll always make time for me.”
Although Frances lives a “very busy” life, maintaining her friendship with Laine is incredibly important to her. “I’m a teacher trainer now and have lots going on with my family. That’s why I text when I can’t call as much, because I want her to know she’s always in my thoughts,” she says. “She’s so patient and flexible, which has allowed our friendship to blossom.”
