“Which state finished last in the Sheffield Shield cricket competition this year?”
Pressure does funny things to people. I’ve sat in the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? hot seat across from Eddie McGuire. I’ve had my nerves shredded trying to win hundreds of thousands of dollars on Million Dollar Minute. I’ve spent seven years as a chaser, standing between contestants and their money on The Chase Australia.
I was also a cricket journalist for a decade, and there’s no pressure quite like the burden of your pub trivia team looking at you expectantly when the host asks a question that should be your bread and butter and you haven’t got a clue about the answer. When that Sheffield Shield question was asked, I felt like Anthony Albanese being grilled on unemployment figures.
“Ah, sorry, I’m not sure what it is.”
My team that night was made up of my fellow Australian chasers, Issa “The Supernerd” Schultz, Matt “Goliath” Parkinson and Cheryl “The Tiger Mum” Toh, as well as Cheryl’s regular trivia teammate, Alan. We are so rarely all together at once that we thought pub trivia would be a fun bonding experience.
Off we headed to the Union Hotel in North Sydney, the regular punters probably viewing us as the four horsemen of the trivia apocalypse. We did win the night and defended our reputations, but we also showed ourselves to be human. We couldn’t remember the name of the actor who plays Jay in Clerks and Mallrats (Jason Mewes), picked the wrong year for the release of Norah Jones’ Don’t Know Why, and … umm … well … failed to name a certain cricket team.
I know we missed these questions because Cheryl, who is a lawyer, keeps detailed notes and sends out emails to her usual trivia teammates with a list of questions they answered incorrectly. It’s an excellent way of remembering for next time, should the question ever come up again. I’ve always found that writing things down helps my recall, which is why writing practice questions is for me the most effective trivia training technique.
Taking notes might not be everyone’s idea of fun, but there are other ways to improve your pub trivia performance. For starters, if you’re not sure, guess the “percentage answer”. Which ocean? The Pacific’s the biggest, try that. Which American city? Say New York. Which rubbish state cricket team? I should have known it was South Australia, the perennial wooden spooners.
But success at pub trivia is about more than just guessing. A good team is a bit like a political cabinet. You need a minister for sport, a minister for geography, a minister for music. A minister for Kardashians is just as valuable as a minister for science – sometimes the same person even holds both portfolios. What you want is a team full of complementary strengths, not a group where everyone knows the 1977 grand final winner but nobody has heard of The Kid Laroi.
Once you’ve got your crack trivia squad assembled, there are some dos and don’ts.
Do listen to the question properly, and ask for it to be repeated if you’re unclear. I was once at a pub quiz in London when a team thought the host had asked for Britain’s biggest carnival, and answered Notting Hill. They were baffled that the correct answer was “badger”, until they twigged that it was Britain’s biggest carnivore.
Don’t argue the point with the host. Pub trivia is meant to be fun. You might be playing for a roast lamb counter meal, but not the whole sheep station. And remember, the host is the one who controls the scoring, so aggravate him or her at your peril. Your pedantry may gain you a point here, but you might mysteriously lose a point somewhere else.
Do listen to your teammates. The worst person on a pub trivia team is the steamroller who talks over his (the steamroller is nearly always a man) teammates and dismisses out of hand their suggested answers, which are probably correct. A good team brings everyone into the discussion and tries to work it out together.
Don’t get too drunk. By all means have a few drinks, enjoy a meal, have some fun and support the pub that’s paying for the trivia. Venues have had a rough couple of years; the more money across the bar at a trivia night, the better for everyone. But don’t get so wasted that you look at Elvis Costello on the photo page and think he’s the Proclaimers.
Most importantly, have fun with your friends and don’t worry if you miss a question that you should know. It even happens to chasers and prime ministers.
Brydon Coverdale’s book The Quiz Masters ($32.99) is out now through Allen & Unwin
