Having a healthy sex life is an important and fulfilling part of a relationship, and can often mean you have a more emotional connection with your partner. But if you’ve noticed them engaging in certain behaviours such as an intense preoccupation with pornography, or their sexual desires have become the main focus of their life, it could be a sign that they are suffering from Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD).
We’ve asked the team of addiction specialists at Private Rehab Clinic Delamere, to share what exactly CSBD is, the signs and symptoms to look for in a partner, and how you can find ways to cope with dating someone with a sexual behaviour disorder.
Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder, which is sometimes known as hypersexuality disorder or sex addiction, refers to extreme preoccupation with sexual fantasies or urges that overpower everything in a person's life, despite how dangerous they may be.
It is a recognised mental health disorder and can manifest itself in sexual acts like hook-ups, masturbation and pornography. However, when these behaviours become the main focus or overpower a person's life, who you are dating, it may be a sign of CSBD.
While CSBD is commonly overlooked when it comes to addictions, if it is left untreated, it can have seriously damaging consequences on the person's life and mental health, including damaging relationships and self-esteem, their career, health and people that they are close to.
As CSBD can manifest itself as common sexual activities, it can sometimes be hard to distinguish, when someone you love is suffering from the condition. With this in mind the team at Delamere have revealed the common signs and symptoms of CSBD to look out for:
Recurrent and Intense Preoccupation with Sex - Persistent and overwhelming thoughts of sex to the extent that the person suffering from CSBD will have difficulty concentrating on anything else. These obsessive thoughts are only relieved (albeit very temporary) by engaging in the sexual act they are fixated on.
Engaging in Risky Sexual Behaviours - A person suffering from CSBD may masturbate so frequently that it becomes painful or rough or sadistic sex that they suffer physical pain as a result. Yet this will not stop them from engaging excessively in sexual activity.
Loss of Control Around Sexual Behaviours - A person who is suffering from sex addiction, may experience a loss of control over sexual fantasies, urges and behaviour. This will also often lead them to feel overwhelming feelings of shame, regret, powerlessness, anxiety and depression.
Using CSBD to Escape Other Problems - Another common sign that someone who you are dating is suffering from CSBD is that they are using sexual behaviours as a distraction or way to escape other problems. This could include things like anxiety, depression, loneliness or stress.
Continuing to Engage Despite Negative Consequences - A person who suffers from CSBD will often suffer negative consequences as a result of their behaviour.
Examples of common negative consequences that they may experience include being found out as being unfaithful, contracting an STI or STD, unintentionally falling pregnant, and losing a job or a relationship. Despite suffering negative consequences resulting from their sexual behaviour, they will not be able to stop, even if they want to.
Finding out your partner or someone you are dating is suffering from CSBD can be extremely overwhelming, so it is important that you take care of yourself while supporting them;
You Are Not Alone - It's important to remember that when dating someone with CSBD that you are not alone. It may feel scary and embarrassing but there are many people that are in a relationship or are suffering themselves from CSBD.
Seek Professional Help - If you suspect that a loved one might have a sex addiction it is important that they seek professional help, such as advice from a mental health professional or someone who specialises in compulsive sexual behaviours. They can assess your partner's symptoms and recommend the best treatment.
Set Boundaries - It is important that when you are dating someone with CSBD that you look after your own health as well. This could include setting boundaries, such as asking your partner to not engage in sex with other people if you want to maintain a sexual relationship with them
Learn About Addiction and Mental Health Conditions - Learning about mental health conditions like CSBD can be a great way to support a loved one. It may help you form a greater understanding of what your partner is going through, how addiction manifests and what treatment they may need.
Consider Your Relationship - While it may be hard, finding ways to cope when dating someone with CSBD may mean leaving the relationship to protect yourself and your partner.
