Actress Sheren Tang Shui-man’s youthful demeanour – her skin is porcelain smooth and she exudes a bubbling energy – belies her age.
So what is her secret to ageing well? Accepting that it happens.
“Being afraid of getting old is not a good mentality,” the award-winning Hong Kong television star tells the Post. “I have not worn make-up [for non-professional occasions] for many years. I want to embrace my real age,” she says. Tang is 54.
Exercise such as hiking and spending time with her family help Tang stay young at heart – as does possessing good mental health. Her trick for that is to stay curious and to never dwell on the past.
The former actress with Hong Kong-based broadcaster TVB, who has starred in numerous hugely popular drama series, including Rosy Business (2009), No Regrets (2010), War and Beauty (2004) and Beauty at War (2013), says her life changed when she embraced Christianity in 1998.
A near-brush with monetary ruin during the 1998 Asian financial crisis resulted in Tang having to juggle several jobs, including working as a DJ, to pay the mortgage on the luxurious house she had never lived in thanks to her hectic work schedule.
From coach to psychiatrist – how to find the right therapist for you
“I stumbled and was covered with bruises then. I found out I couldn’t rely on [purely] myself any more. I turned to God and Jesus. It took a long time for me to have the faith to fully rely on God, as I have led a self-reliant existence for many years.”
Tang, who was raised by her grandparents even before her parents divorced when she was five, credits her faith with helping to heal long-term emotional wounds. Thanks to Christian counselling which she started in 2008, she has reconciled with her parents.
“It took a long journey with pain and tears to forgive them. I had never lived with them [before adulthood]. My anger [towards them] had accumulated since childhood. So my success was tainted with bitterness. Through therapy, I started to learn to tell them my feelings and let go of emotional baggage.”
Tang began acting in the 1980s and says that her approach to working used to be to go all out.
“I did stunts [without using a body double]. I learned [how to] drive and smoke for the sake of acting. I just jumped into the sea when shooting [television dramas] even though I didn’t know how to swim.” Although viewers may have thought she did these things because she was good at them, she wasn‘t – she was simply doing her best to keep her job.
Her work ethic brought her phenomenal career success – she won the best TVB actress award for two consecutive years for her performances in Rosy Business and No Regrets – but it took a crushing mental and physical toll. After she finished shooting palace intrigue drama Beauty at War, Tang was so exhausted that she took a two-year hiatus from acting.
The case for taking a sabbatical to recharge, reboot and refocus
“I have never thought that I would have the guts to stop working for two years in my whole life. In her last days, my [late] friend [and movie star] Jacqueline Law Wai-guen always reminded me not to have regrets in life. So I did many things on my bucket list, like visiting Greece and Israel, giving Christian testimonial talks, and attending a fun course on acting.”
Even now, Tang enjoys a slower pace of life, and can often be seen lining up for church with her fellow parishioners in Hong Kong. She says she enjoys feeling like a nobody and being out and about without wearing make-up.
And, although in Chinese culture unmarried women of a certain age are often looked down upon, Tang says she embraces her single status with gusto and credits God with helping change her views on romance.
“I was a romantic obsessive who entered into relationships easily before. I did that to prove that I am worthy of love, and to fill the void [left by her parents’ divorce].
“When women see handsome men, or men treating them well or courting them ferociously, they might see it as romantic love. But it can just be romantic obsession filled with desires. Real love leads to marriage and family with sacrifices and responsibility. I am much more cautious when it comes to romantic pursuits now.
“I believe God will arrange for the right man to appear. So while I won’t seek romance actively, I won’t close the door on it.”
Having given Christian testimonials in Singapore, the United States, Europe and in China over the years, Tang says her ability to shift all her worldly worries and burdens to God has turned her into a carefree and fearless person, which helps her stay young.
“There’s no need to worry for tomorrow, as God will take care of me. I was a workaholic before, striving hard to earn money and get recognition. I was worried that my acting skills would one day be lost and I would be left with no wherewithal to make a living,” she says. Her faith has helped her to understand her true value does not come from her work.
“I have to love myself, as my life is precious. The inner peace and sense of security I feel is the greatest gift,” Tang says.
