We all want to know how other parents are handling the summer hustle so we decided to ask them. The answers are a sobering snapshot of the impact on mums of the UK's failing childcare system.
No wonder so many of us are wondering just how long the holidays last. Whether you’ve just started your summer break or are already deep into the school holidays (yes, we’re looking at you, Scotland...) working parents everywhere are now officially in the midst of the summer hustle.
You know what I'm referring to —that precarious dance of balancing work and childcare costs that parents perform during the summer holidays because while kids enjoy around 65 days of school holidays, the average employee only gets about 25 days of paid leave annually.
Personally, I went freelance so that I could earn a living whilst looking after my kids full-time, and I'm acutely aware of how fortunate I was to be able to do so. Yes, I made sacrifices, both emotional and financial, to combine work and parenthood over the years. I watched friends progress in their careers while freelance rates remained unchanged for 20 years, despite soaring living costs, and I gave up 15 years of holiday pay, workplace pension contributions, and any chance of career progression. At the time, I felt I'd found the holy grail of working motherhood but more recently I've been wondering if the hit to my career prospects and my pension pot were entirely fair. While I've no regrets about the time I invested in my kids, I am mindful that my retirement plans and salary aren't what they might otherwise have been.
In the end, we all do what makes sense for our families and I suspect no working mum ever feels entirely sure her choices were the right ones. But perhaps sharing stories of working motherhood, much like sharing war wounds, can help us make peace with our circumstances and energise us to seek the change that would help make summer less fraught for so many of us.
1. 'I call in the village'
When it comes to summer childcare, Stephanie Lowe, Family Editor of GoodtoKnow, recommends pooling resources with other local mums. "Me and my friends have set up this 'I can have the kids on XYZ days this summer for the whole day/afternoon,' arrangement and then we each take it in turns. It only equals about five days of childcare in total but every little helps, right?"
2. 'I've developed next-level spreadsheet skills'
It seems to be a truth universally acknowledged among working mothers that spreadsheets will feature heavily in the proceedings. "I have a spreadsheet breaking down where my son will be on each day, who he's with, what he's doing, and what it costs - it's like a military operation," Stephanie adds. "This is pulled together in December so that I can get leave booked and signed off ahead of time. But if you were to ask my husband, he'd have no clue this spreadsheet exists."
3. 'I get in first with the grandparents'
For Laura, mum of one, the secret to solving the summer childcare conundrum is to get in first with asking the grandparents for help. "In our family, it's a scramble to get the 'good grandparents' booked as they operate on a 'first come first served' basis so you need to get your ducks in a row before the competition. I mean, before my siblings."
4. I employ a 'have laptop, will travel' approach
Thank goodness for flexible working. But why did no-one warn us about the lack of petrol expenses in this arrangement? "There are some days I'll need to decamp and work from my mum's house because of the logistics of dropping/picking up my son,' explains Ella, mum of one. "She lives a 90-minute drive away (on a good day) so it makes more sense to adopt a 'got laptop will travel' approach."
5. 'I switched careers to be a better mum'
For some mums, the logistics of balancing work and childcare during the summer drives them into a career change. "I switched careers because the six-week juggle (and all the other holidays) were just too much," says Marissa, mum of three. 'I felt like I was failing someone at all times. I took a huge pay cut and a demotion to work in a school, stepping away from a marketing career I loved to make me a better mum when it comes to holidays. The less I think about that, the better to be honest."
6. 'I condensed my hours but I'm exhausted'
Michelle, mum-of-two, says: "I condensed my work hours so I could get one day off a week with my children throughout the summer holidays. It's great that my employer allowed this but I am a broken shell of a person by the time that one day comes around. I need it to sleep, not play dolphins while dodging floating plasters at the local pool."
7. 'I leave the UK to make it work'
Mum-of-one Justina is from Hungary and says going home during the summer is only way for her to continue working while her child is off school. "I end up spending most of the six weeks working and sleeping in my family's cramped flat just so that I can have childcare on tap. I couldn't afford to stay in the UK for the holidays and work."
8. 'I drive to a holiday club 45 minutes away'
Holiday clubs are a reliable solution to the summer childcare problem - if you're lucky enough to beat off the competition and secure a place, that is. But even then, there's no guarantee that your child will be happy about it. And that can necessitate even more juggling, as mum of three, Carly, knows all too well.
"I’m driving my kids to a holiday club miles away from home which is taking 45-50 minutes either way compared to our normal eight-minute school run," she says. "But my kids struggle with traditionally sporty holiday clubs, so I’ve gone the extra mile - literally - to give us the best shot of them liking it, which would give me 1-2 days a week where I can crack on with work. It's early days as they’ve only been once, and they've already made complaints, but I'm hoping today is a better day and that these long drives will be worth it."
9. 'We're taking it in turns to take time off'
It's well-documented that more than half of grandparents look after grandchildren while their parents are at work but granny daycare isn't a silver bullet either.
"I spent hours trying to plan a schedule for my four-year-old over the summer holidays, with various drafts and adjustments along the way," explains mum of one, Grace. "But as well as just planning where he will be each weekday, we're also trying to account for a child-free wedding we've been invited to, an overnight work trip, and all within the confines of holiday allowances from work. I'm also really conscious of not overwhelming my mother-in-law with childcare responsibilities. My husband and I are also taking it in turns to take holiday, which is a shame because it means we miss out on some holiday time as a family, but it's the only way we can make it work."
10. I'm relying on my partner
For some mums, returning to work while their partner takes on the role of stay-at-home dad is the most viable solution, at least in financial terms. But that, too, comes with its challenges. "I'm currently working in an office full time while my husband, who is at home with our five-year-old and nine-month-old, is constantly calling me to give me updates on what they’ve eaten or done and where he can find certain things," says mum of two, Sioned. "Then I'm logging back on when I get home. I'll be working from home two days a week next week when my husband goes back to work and I'll have no support network because everyone we know is working or on holiday. I want to be back on maternity leave."
11. 'I've had to take a backwards step at work'
For mum Liona, a career break is the only option. "I've had to start working shifts because the work is term-time only but I've effectively taken a step backwards in my career due to the lack of family-friendly contracts.”
12. 'I hired a teen to build Lego with my kids'
Mum of three, Hannah, drafted in affordable childcare reinforcements in the shape of a friend's reliable teenage daughter - something she says was a game-changer during the summer hustle. "It was the dream scenario - the kids adored her and they loved the wholesome activities she did with them, from building Lego sets with them to reading Harry Potter," Hannah explains. "I was in the house if they needed me but I never heard a peep. It was win-win, she got work experience and pocket money, they got quality time with someone who wasn't exhausted or distracted, and I got some much-needed focus time without worrying about the kids."
Ultimately, we just have to keep banging the drum about the need for better support systems for working parents. Flexible working, more affordable summer childcare schemes, and supportive workplace policies could make a world of difference to working mums, turning summer into something to be savoured rather than survived.
Looking for more honest takes on popular parenting topics? Read why Sweden's grandparent leave policy will never work in the UK or take a peek at Charging for playdates: money savvy or rude?
