![Gloria Calabrese and Bernadette O'Malley of the Faithful Companions of Jesus in London](https://media.guim.co.uk/db2916c5dd88f41665f0b53ec5b78c18c4d6b3ad/0_396_8000_4800/1000.jpg)
One of three charities supported by the Guardian and Observer 2023 annual appeal, Refugees at Home, runs a national network of volunteers with spare rooms who host homeless refugees and asylum seekers, providing them with shelter and support.
Here, volunteer hosts from across the UK speak about their reasons for opening their homes.
‘Our ancestors were refugees too’
Steven Fogel, from north London, a former City solicitor
![Steven Fogel in his garden](https://media.guim.co.uk/0f342c98a376da58d7b75abc8c28f76447a2a301/0_268_7227_4335/1000.jpg)
We’ve just got our seventh refugee this week, a young man from Sudan. So far, we’ve hosted people from Syria, Turkey, Eritrea, Kenya, a Kurdish refugee and a Pashtun man from Afghanistan.
Our motivation to host refugees? Six reasons. One: we are Jewish, and our families were refugees long ago. We thought it was time to pass the baton. Some of the stories the refugees tell us about crossing countries in dangerous conditions are worryingly familiar.
Two: we have children and would like to think that if they were stranded, there would be a safe place for them.
Three: we are empty nesters with a lovely house and garden in a good and convenient area. Time to share it.
Four: having a youngster around is a breath of fresh air, it makes you flexible, since [as you get older] you get set in your ways.
Five: we are curious. Hosting is a good way of learning about completely different cultures. Having an Eritrean farmer around, for instance, was fascinating.
And six: there’s little you can do about distressing world problems other than make donations.
We’ve always felt secure when we’ve been hosting.
We still WhatsApp with three of them from time to time, and one young man, from Syria, has become a friend, a lovely, lovely person who comes over for dinner sometimes and will attend my wife’s birthday party soon.
One piece of advice? Trust and enjoy the experience.
‘Inclusion starts in the home’
Katie and James and their children, Glasgow
![Katie and James with their children at home in Glasgow](https://media.guim.co.uk/c214c35005520463ef9640f648041a0ea6a32f10/0_194_5808_3485/1000.jpg)
The best way to answer a question is to show it, so when our children, who are four and seven, ask “What does war mean?” we wanted to show them kindness and compassion. Inclusion starts in the home, so we decided to open up our home.
We’ve had three placements so far and are preparing for another. Each has arrived with different needs: some needing a safe place to stay, some needing help to settle in a new city, some wanting to become part of the family dynamic.
The key is to be open-minded to anything. We’re not here to ask questions or to judge.
One guest helped our four-year-old learn to pedal their bike. It’s lovely to see them find some joy at what is a difficult point in their lives. Another was a trained barber, who is still cutting our children’s hair. They say their favourite part is the lollipop he gives them after the cut. Our daughter says she likes hosting because it feels nice to help another person so they don’t feel alone.
‘Hosting is just the right thing to do’
Maaz Salih Idris, 36, works in international aid, north-west London
![Maaz Salih Idris](https://media.guim.co.uk/ea4e3199181d7cfe704f58cd87248f90c30d7746/0_277_3763_2258/1000.jpg)
Being a guest with Refugees at Home shaped my decision to become a host. I came to the UK from Sudan in 2017 and struggled to find housing before being a guest in several homes. All of the people I stayed with have become great friends and treated me like one of the family – it was a really comforting experience.
I’m hosting my second guest at the moment, a young Eritrean man who uses the sofa bed in my small flat. For me, hosting is just the right thing to do and allows for so much cultural exchange. It can be challenging sharing a small space but opening up your home can provide companionship for both sides.
There’s a loneliness epidemic here and there’s so much you can offer and get back in return from living in the same space – it’s really beneficial and good for our mental health.
By offering someone a safe space you can change someone’s life.
‘You can’t not help when there’s a need’
Sister Gloria Calabrese, 70, of the Faithful Companions of Jesus, east London
![Sister Gloria Calabrese](https://media.guim.co.uk/026319153cb8bd45bf9f265315af3b8f926f652b/0_490_8000_4800/1000.jpg)
You can’t not help when there’s a need. I admit when we began talking about the possibility, there was a fair bit of “oh dear, how is it going to be?” But the Refugees at Home volunteer was so good at making everything clear. They suit the guests to the host.
We hear things on the news about difficulties with “refugees and migrants”, but those titles don’t really mean anything, so can be threatening for a lot of people. But once you know somebody who has a name and a face, when you’re making a connection, it changes your whole outlook.
It’s been great learning about new cultures. [Our first guest] baked her special Eritrean bread for us and told us all about it. And our friends from El Salvador made us their national dish as well. It’s really so enriching.
I’ve learnt not to be so fearful of doing something I’ve never done before. Anything you think you’re giving is nothing to the amount you receive.
They’ve just kind of begun to feel like family.
‘We wanted to offer compassionate action’
Sister Bernadette O’Malley, 96, of the Faithful Companions of Jesus, east London
![Sister Bernadette O’Malley](https://media.guim.co.uk/c3ddf5b9b9f0c7632b51179b25c92664144eb262/0_305_8000_4801/1000.jpg)
Every six years we have an international chapter meeting where we put our own goals into words. We wanted to offer compassionate action to migrants, refugees [and other vulnerable people].
‘We’re so aware that we’re comfortable’
Sister Katherine O’Flynn, 73, of the Faithful Companions of Jesus, east London
![Sisters Teresa White, Christine Sterlini, Katherine O’Flynn, Gloria Calabrese and Bernadette O’Malley.](https://media.guim.co.uk/9b04910bf34c309f4d653692cb2572b11f1ac13c/777_1248_9533_5719/1000.jpg)
We’re so aware that we’re comfortable. If we can have somebody, it’s so important to do it.
I’ve been surprised at how much I’ve enjoyed their our guests’ company – how lovely they’ve been as neighbours.
We’ve gone to see our [previous guest] at her workplace, intending more to chat with her, but she insists that we have coffee and before we know it there’s soup.
‘You’ll learn more than you expect’
Theresa Mansbridge, 61, bus driver, Gloucestershire
![Theresa Mansbridge with her rescue dog Orrose at home in Gloucestershire](https://media.guim.co.uk/4a02aa893ec4d0031fd884fdf47e692691d2488d/0_329_6412_3847/1000.jpg)
[Initially] Refugees at Home were looking for [hosts] in bigger cities. Then a social media post came up for a young Eritrean guy in the area, and I thought, there’s no reason not to when you have a spare room.
[My guest] was 26, the same as my nephew. He was very thoughtful – I got phone calls when he was staying out at friends to let me know. When I had to have an emergency operation, he was so caring after I got home. My sister thanked him for looking after me. He was a very adept cook, and I cooked for him too, though I’m not sure he was as impressed with mine as I was with his! He said his mum taught them all how to cook.
He was very keen on my dog, Orrose – you can play with a dog without having to talk a lot. I helped him move in when he got his place in October. He’s started at college now.
Donations can be made online by credit card, debit card or PayPal or by phone on 0151 284 1126. We are unable to accept cheques
Learn more about becoming a Refugees At Home host