Unless you’re a hermit or live in a forest with no human civilization around, you’re bound to have neighbors. If you’re lucky, these people become your friends, but if you’re not, then you’ll end up with foes who live a bit too close for comfort.
Sneaky neighbors are the worst because they might seem harmless on the surface but sometimes have devious intentions. A woman realized this after the lady next door lied to her about the construction work she was doing and set up a window close enough to spy on her family.
More info: Mumsnet
Nobody wants to get off on the wrong foot with their neighbor, but it becomes tough when the person next door pulls shady stunts
The poster’s neighbor has been doing construction work on her house and has already overshot many of the specifications mentioned on her building plans
Image credits: TooManywines
Image credits: David McBee / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The neighbor even lied to the woman about some work that her building contractor would be doing and secretly set up a window directly looking into the author’s garden
Image Credits: TooManywines / Mumsnet
The poster was angry that her neighbor would lie about the construction work being done and contacted the planning council to remedy the problem
Image credits: TooManywines / Mumsnet
The only worry the woman had was that reporting her neighbor to the planning officer might cause problems because of the extra, unreported construction work the lady had done
The woman’s next-door neighbor had given her one set of plans but had secretly gotten way more construction done. Her sneaky behavior continued when she got her builder access into the OP’s garden under false pretenses of making a small hole.
Luckily, the poster’s daughter had been home to witness what was going on and see that the neighbor had built a new window directly facing them. This would completely ruin their privacy and, as some commenters pointed out, possibly even affect the OP’s property value. So, she had a right to get mad and confront the sly woman next door.
To understand how to deal with pesky neighbors like this, Bored Panda contacted Jennifer Dhillon, the founder of Bounce Back Generation. BBG is a nonprofit that creates and shares tools to help people build resilience. They also post videos on their channel, BBGTV, to help guide folks in tackling difficult issues.
Based on the situation the OP found herself in, we asked Jennifer for de-escalation tactics that she could have used before contacting the planning enforcement officer. Jennifer said people should “try to talk it out. Explain the complaint to your neighbor and how it’s affecting your privacy or boundaries. Give them a chance to reconsider and change their mind about the project.”
She also added that it’s important to “document everything and keep records of all interactions. Check local laws and regulations. If talking doesn’t work, review any local laws to see if the window violates any regulations. This gives you another opportunity to request that the neighbor make changes. Let them know you’ll report the issue if it’s not resolved to your satisfaction.”
Let’s get one thing clear: not all neighbors are like this. There are many good, kind, and friendly people out there. But sometimes, there can be a bad egg who just wants to ruin things for everyone around. That’s why around 24% of Americans say they dislike the folks next door, either because they’re rude, noisy, or nosy.
That’s why we asked Jennifer from BBG how to handle a really unruly neighbor. She said: “never escalate the situation negatively or resort to violence. Stay within your own boundaries of what you can control, and keep communication firm but respectful. Keep detailed records, and seek help from the appropriate authorities.”
She also said that a person should only involve the authorities “if the issue still isn’t resolved. Just like in a bullying situation, your role is to seek help from the powers whose job it is to prevent these kinds of actions. Try to gather allies and supporters, not to harass, but in an honest effort to resolve things or get justice.”
It’s tough to know what to do in sensitive situations like these, especially if you’ve had many conversations with the neighbor and if authorities don’t come to your aid. An interesting tip that Jennifer said was to “create your own solution. If all else fails, the aggrieved neighbor can take action on their end to protect their privacy.”
“This could be building a wall that blocks the view (just make sure it’s on your property line), planting a tree, or placing something unpleasant in the view of the window to discourage intrusion,” she added.
If you were in the OP’s shoes, would you have picked confrontation or compromise? Let us know in the comments.
Most people sided with the poster and urged her to report the matter immediately before the neighbor does anything else
