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We had a two-week vacation planned, and a friend’s 22-year-old child agreed to pet sit for most of our trip. My brother was here for the first couple of days because it was Thanksgiving weekend. He let us know that our dog was growling at the pet sitter since she was clearly stressed. My brother took her to the nearby park with some of the neighbor dogs and she warmed up to the sitter. My brother stayed to transition to this friend’s child in person because the dog was still stressed and growled at him occasionally.
Before arrival, I texted the pet sitter acknowledging that there had been issues. I provided a neighbor’s contact information and said that she did better after time with my brother and doggo friends in the park, and I got acknowledgment and a statement that she is “still definitely nervous”.
I checked in the next day, and the response from the pet sitter was that the dog was “definitely pretty nervous” but had been fed and acted normal when the neighbor and their dog came by
The pet sitter didn’t update until four days later, confirming our return date. He stated that the dog is eating more regularly, especially when prompted by the friend’s dog. Cats were “aloof”. (We have four cats in addition to the doggo.)
In the meantime, the neighbor messages me, stating that the pet sitter has only gone out with the dog once
On the first day – the neighbor was picking the dog up for walks instead and that time in the park. The neighbor said that the dog was in our bedroom for 22 hours between his visits, as reported by the pet sitter. I asked the pet sitter about this, and he stated that he had homework and that this would not be the case for the coming days. He also added that doggo goes to our bedroom as soon as the neighbor leaves.
At this point, we were looking at coming home early. The neighbor offered to try taking the dog to her house first – see how she does.
I informed the pet sitter that the neighbor would take the dog and that we were looking at coming home early. The response was just “alright”
The following week, I messaged the pet sitter, instructing him to leave on Thursday night, asking only to fill the cat food and water and clean the litter box, as we’d be home late on Friday.
Upon our return, we found empty food bowls, and almost empty water bowl, with one fountain completely empty and unplugged
I messaged the next morning, “We are furious, saddened, and extremely disappointed to find the condition of our home (not addressed here), empty food bowls, empty water, and litter boxes that hadn’t been cleaned in several days (they were nearly solid with urine and refuse). On top of zero effort to gain our pets’ trust and relying on neighbors, who we had not made arrangements with, and were not paying to care for Piper. Please don’t agree to care for anyone else’s home and pets until you can appreciate the trust they are putting in you and take that responsibility seriously. That’s as nicely as I am able to state my feelings.”
Following this exchange, the mom and aunt of the child, who are both good friends of ours, canceled our holiday plans, stating that they were upset about my message to the vulnerable pet sitter. The mother of the pet sitter has told me about his mental health concerns. No therapy, no diagnosis, no meds. I’m not denying that there are mental health issues. But, it doesn’t take much effort to scoop a box, put food in the bowls, and fill the water fountains. I was brutally honest. My perspective is that there was no effort. My pets were the vulnerable ones.
Of course, there have been more exchanges, and no one is being dramatic or shutting the others out completely. However, AITA?
Our dog is generally super sweet and friendly. I rescued her 4/1 of this year. She had been friendly with both brother and pet sitter in the past. As reflected by my brother and neighbors, she growled at first because she was scared. Once she was with friends and brother at the park, it reaffirmed that he was a safe person. She was still hesitant and did growl at him again the next day, but warmed up.
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