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This might be a long story, so hang on tight. Apologies for any mistakes or confusion in my writing, as I’m in a bit of a rush here.
So I have a best friend (L) who I’ve known for almost a year and a half now. We’ve been best friends for 8 months. I thought things were going great between us since we talked to each other every day. We have fun. There are times when we laugh and cry, and we do our best to comfort each other. I thought we were going to be together forever, but I don’t think we’re going to last much longer.
For context, before we became best friends, L knew a girl (M) who used to be her best friend before she accidentally made a joke pretending to have a crush on M’s boyfriend, which slightly offended M. I know M. M and I are not friends and never were friends.
She’s manipulative and controlling, and of course, when M decided to overreact and get mad at L over her joke, she went overboard, didn’t want to be friends with L ever again, and instantly became best friends with another girl (O) who I didn’t know very well.
M and O got together and did as much as they could to humiliate and hurt L over the small joke she made
I should note that the joke had a very sarcastic and lighthearted tone, so there was no way L could’ve been serious. When all of this drama started escalating, L reached out to me, and I helped her the best I could. We became best friends shortly after.
M and O found out and did so many things, including lying to all of L’s other friends to make them leave her and make L look like a bad person, threatening to hurt L and me, saying that L should date [insert creepy pervert’s name here], calling us ugly and stupid on numerous occasions, calling L a pig, and even arguing with me over the phone once when L wasn’t around.
O even called L a b**ch. That isn’t even all they did, and the tormenting continued for months. They did eventually stop picking on us a couple of months ago, but even after that, I found out that they were still talking trash about us and even attempting to make bad social media posts about us. Still, at least things were getting better.
Fast forward to yesterday, L tells me that M and O finally apologized
I’m not sure whether it was a genuine apology or not, but basically, they invited L to hang out with them. L says that they are nice now, but I still can’t forgive them—not after all the things they put us through. I warned L to be careful because who knows what M and O might do. They could snap at any given moment.
Today just seemed to be my breaking point. I was, and still am, sad, confused, scared, and a little bit mad. M and O never apologized or said anything to me, so why are they doing so to L? And why now, after all they did to us?
L referred to me as “one of my homies,” then I replied with, “Well, M and O are not my homies.” I think I accidentally made her mad at me because of that. She knows I won’t forgive them. She then told me that M and O are her besties. I asked if I was her bestie, and she said yes.
L told me that the whole situation was her own fault because of some things she did to M in the past, apparently. I’m assuming this is just stuff M guilt-tripped her for before, and I reminded L that it’s not her fault and that M is just a bad person who overdramatizes everything.
I reminded L of the things M and O did to us, and I once again warned her to be careful because who knows what they could do next. I kind of referred to a possible outcome as the Kirra Hart situation (if you don’t know what it is, google it. Justice for Kirra Hart), and said I didn’t want her to get hurt like Kirra did if M and O were trying to lead her on and do something.
I’m honestly clueless as to what I’m supposed to do now
Sure, they could be acting nice now, but I don’t know if they’re going to be nice forever or if they’ll snap and start the cycle of bullying again. L then got a little annoyed and told me not to compare M and O to abusers ever again or even assume they could be plotting to hurt her.
I want to be L’s best friend still since she’s the best one I’ve had in a long time, and I know if I decide to leave her, I’d be crushing my own heart and possibly hers too. And what if she does get hurt? I don’t want her to be alone during the aftermath.
I don’t know if I should convince her to leave M and O or if I should just let them be. I want to protect L, but I also don’t want to be overprotective and make her feel like I’m trying to keep her away from potential friends. We both don’t have many friends, and I know L has been wanting to find new friends for a while now since all of her other friends gave in to M and O’s lies and just ditched L.
So AITA for disagreeing with my best friend and potentially making her angry? And WIBTA if I stopped being her best friend?
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