It is a truth that should be universally acknowledged that hotness is in the eye of the beholder. Sydney swimming spots attract different folks who, in turn, have different strokes (of books) that would qualify as the hot beach read of the summer.
If you’re keen to be a beach-reading hottie but have no idea where to start, fear not! Our handy guide will connect you to the right book for the Sydney beach that floats your particular boat.
GORDON’S BAY: All About Love — Bell Hooks
You get a varied crowd at Gordon’s, but whether it’s the coastie diver types snorkelling to see the wobbegongs or the gorgeous curly mullet queers sunbathing on the rocks, bell hooks’ combination ode to and exploration of all things love is both a great conversation starter and also a book that may change you for the better between swims.
DAWN FRASER BATHS: Intermezzo — Sally Rooney
You don’t have the Dawny as your favourite swim spot if you don’t have a bit of that melancholy dog in you. Intermezzo has one of the most iconic covers of books this year (that BLUE), and Miss Rooney is an expert in complex tales of connection, which is perfect for those who love a combination harbour pool and 1880s water polo arena.
BONDI: Feel-Good Productivity — Ali Abdaal
You can’t really miss with a self-help book or a memoir for the Bondi crowd, and a book that combines finding your joy with finding your hustle? That’s good on all fronts. The author made the jump from being a doctor to being a YouTuber and then an author, and now you can learn what he learnt from doing all that, while reclining on your patch of the famous golden sand.
REDLEAF: Love and Virtue — Diana Reid
If your favourite kind of beach is a harbour one with a view of the Sydney skyline, then you’re in deep on the particular romance and grot of life in the harbour city. Love and Virtue have drama, Sydney hotspot name-drops and philosophical intrigue, aka catnip for other small harbour beach acolytes.
CLOVELLY SOUTH SIDE: Wow, No Thank You — Samantha Irby
Anyone who is a regular at Clovelly knows that you only really go to one side, and any kind of contact with the other side is fleeting. The south side hosts a combination crowd of people who seem to be constantly training for Ironman events and people who want to sunbathe for eight hours. (Editor’s note: this is not sun-safe behaviour, please slip slop slap mates.)
As the Ironman crowd don’t slow down enough to see what you’re reading, you want something fun that you can read in little bits across the day. Samantha Irby’s set of essays about social media, writing, love and stuff that pisses her off are funny enough to read bits out loud to the people you’re with, which gives a chance to appear both hilarious and booksmart to the other sunbathers nearby.
CLOVELLY NORTH SIDE: ‘???’
The northside people are a mystery to me, and I would not presume to declare what they might find hot. I think I spotted someone reading Dolly Alderton?? I was too far away to tell.
MANLY MAIN BEACH: Appreciation — Liam Pieper
Appreciation is satirical, a good time and very Australian; the Manly crowd to a T. The cover is striking so people can spot it on your towel while you surf, and the writing is no-nonsense and good; an appealing combo for those with Manly at the top of their beach list.
MANLY SHELLY BEACH: Phosphorescence — Julia Baird
This read is sea related because it’s the Northern Beaches, so it’s ok to be more on the nose about that sort of thing. It’s non-fiction but quite magical. Intentionally not like the Main Beach book/people. Interesting cover art to start conversations with the people you squashed up close to in the minimal shade. Bliss.
NEILSON PARK: Slaughterhouse 5 — Kurt Vonnegut
You want something classic but not trite, and what kind of animal would bring a hardcover-level classic to the beach? Vonnegut is a fantastic writer who is also really accessible to read, and this one is short enough to come in all sorts of sexy paperback editions. Be warned though; it’s absorbing enough that you may not even notice the folks casting longing glances your way. So it goes.
COOGEE: Down The Drain — Julia Fox
It’s smart, it’s riveting, and it’s both by and about someone interesting and fun. She’s the literal source material of being “so Julia”!! Reading this book lets you in on the world of one of thee It Girls of our time, and says that you are cool, fun, interesting and probably also down to go to the Coogee Bay Hotel after this, so it’s really ticking all boxes.
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