Christmas isn’t the most wonderful time of the year for RAF veteran Mike – it’s the loneliest. From the moment the shops are stocked with festive decorations, he can’t wait for it all to be over.
For many of his 13 years in the military, Mike had adventures, made friends and enjoyed the camaraderie. His service included two lengthy tours of Northern Ireland during the Troubles as well as deployments to Cyprus and the Falklands.
One evening in April 1996 changed his life forever – while returning to the married military quarters of his RAF base in the East Midlands, he was knocked off his bike by a van travelling at 60 mph.
Mike suffered a traumatic brain injury and severe back injuries - the lasting damage to his spinal column could cause paralysis from the neck down at any moment.
He takes strong prescription opioid medication to try to relieve the chronic pain, but this has caused him to suffer with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), liver damage and incontinence. His insomnia means he only gets around one to two hours’ sleep a night.
“Christmas used to be a magical time from when I was a kid right the way through until 2016, which was the last Christmas I spent with my wife, son and daughter,” he said. “Now I dread it.”
Mike now lives alone with his two dogs. His physical disabilities and the mental trauma he experiences daily, including PTSD, depression and anxiety, mean he rarely leaves the house. The festive period is particularly lonely.
Last year, Mike received a Christmas card from a Help for Heroes supporter. It was part of the charity’s campaign encouraging people to send a message of hope to isolated veterans – and it made a lasting impact on Mike.
He said: “It makes you remember there are people who care. So we're not on our own in this. It makes a massive difference.”
Thousands of messages of support were sent by the public to veterans struggling with isolation, often caused by disability, pain and mental trauma. These messages, which were distributed by the Charity, became beacons of hope for many veterans and their families during a season that can feel especially lonely. Some veterans got in touch with Help for Heroes to tell them this was the only Christmas card they received. Many more reached out to the Charity for help and are now getting life-changing support.
Mike was seeing a physiotherapist for his back, who encouraged him to contact Help for Heroes for further support.
He was invited to a recovery week, which includes activities and sessions on topics like pain management and improving sleep, while also spending time with fellow veterans. He has also accessed the Charity’s mental health team, Hidden Wounds, and they paid for a self-propelled wheelchair to help with his mobility.
“Through Help for Heroes I’ve got a clinical liaison advisor called Helen. She's been looking after me for nearly five years and I don't know where I'd be without her,” he explained.
“Helen will liaise with all the different aspects of my medical care – orthopaedic, mental health, gastro. I've got five different consultants for different parts of my body, and she'll speak to them all, which I just couldn't do.
“She helps with isolation because we speak most weeks - an hour of talking to her about issues that need looking at, but also the openness, friendliness, cajoling, and banter. Not to be dramatic, but she’s a life saver.”
Requests for support from the leading military charity have surged by 54 per cent in the past year.*
But thousands more veterans who risked their lives for us still struggle in silence. Alone.
Mike has a simple message for them: “To anyone else out there who’s struggling: don’t be too proud to ask for help. It didn't come easily for me to ask - and it still doesn't, but the help is there if you just reach out. You don’t have to do it alone.”
Will you send a message of hope to veterans like Mike this Christmas? It could help them find the peace they deserve. Visit: helpforheroes.org.uk
*Help for Heroes Annual Report 2022/23
