![‘It’s about self-confidence, self-esteem and self-care’ … Helen Bauer on her new show Madam Good Tit.](https://media.guim.co.uk/332b3015fd1a2b0c9edcdfe55d0deda40f330b76/0_15_8256_4954/1000.jpg)
What made you get into comedy?
An unholy need for attention stemming from middle-child syndrome that grew out of control and a desperate need for my dad to hug me. That and I just love making people happy.
You honed your comedy skills after you moved to Berlin aged 23. What was your experience of the German comedy circuit?
I will always count myself so lucky that I got to start in Berlin. The scene is growing now but when I began it was very small. I was supported by the other comedians from the first gig and we had so much stage time to share among us. I truly miss it.
Are there any differences between British and German audiences?
No difference apart from language. The difference is me and my reference points.
Who do you remember looking up to when you were starting out?
Everyone was super inspiring for me starting out. I really think that every woman who came before me and my generation of comics deserves a big thank you from all of us who followed.
Can you remember a gig so bad, it’s now funny?
Strap in … In my first winter of club gigs, I was doing the opening 30 minutes at a venue and as I arrived I walked past groups of business people on work parties who I heard hoping for “no women tonight”. Backstage the MC started to tell me stories of how bad this gig could be. I brushed it off; what is 30 minutes between me and 100 drunk business people? The MC went on and the heckling began: “We want a real comic.” He gets the room into shape and I walk on. What follows is 10 minutes of solid heckling against everything I say. It was like audience whack-a-mole until one man screamed: “Next, next, next comic.” The whole room went quiet. I honestly thought the hush was because the audience was with me (despite everything suggesting they were not). I had seen a comic pulling rank before and getting someone kicked out, so I thought this was my chance to do just that. I said, “Let’s do this, this guy needs to get out” and the whole audience paused, as I had my last moment of hope, before they started chanting “Next!” I just whispered into the microphone for the MC to come get me. I still see this gig in every shadow.
What is your new show, Madam Good Tit, about?
It is an hour about self-confidence, self-esteem and self-care. It’s the “year of self” so I am taking it very literally.
What’s your process for writing new material?
Go on stage with an idea and talk it out. Then go on again with a better idea and keep going until the idea is a bit. I really wish I could write off stage.
Any pre-show rituals?
I feel like anyone who went through a phase of believing they had special powers like Matilda has a pre-show ritual. My most ridiculous one is listening to the Welsh Male Voice Choir sing You Raise Me Up on the way to big gigs. The song is an absolute banger and I swear it helps you to have a good gig.
In your podcast, Trusty Hogs, you and Catherine Bohart solve listeners’ problems. What is some of the best advice you have given?
Often the advice someone wants is written into the question they are asking. You just need to reinforce that and say, “you know what to do”. Nine times out of 10 though my advice is “put them in a well” or “move to Germany”.
Any bugbears from the world of comedy?
Honestly, call me picky but I could do without the little creeps.