A grieving mum has spoken about how she knew she'd lost another son as she looked in his eyes at the graveside while burying his brother, in a heartbreaking premonition.
Patrice Matthews' son Mikey was 18 when he took his own life, just 13 weeks after his 17-year-old brother PJ did the same.
"I knew the day I buried PJ, I was losing Mikey," she said, as the anniversary of PJ's death draws near on New Year's Eve, the Irish Mirror reports.
Patrice said: "They were born 13 months apart and were inseparable. I remember looking at Mikey when we had buried PJ in that graveyard and, seeing his devastation, I just felt there was nothing I could do for him.
"I'll never forget his face and the heartache that was in it."
PJ died on New Year's Eve 2021. Speaking about her son Patrice said: "He was a character. He would push you to the edge and be the first to try new things," Patrice told LMFM's Late Lunch programme.
"He left school after fifth year because he was mad to work. He was great with his hands and could take anything apart and put it back together again, especially tractors and vintage tractors, which he loved.
"He'd take on any job and finish it completely. Last Christmas week, he went off shopping with his work bonus and he was in top form.
"We all sat together on Christmas Day and had the craic around the table on St Stephen's Day before he went off with his friends.
"We went out to my nephew's 30th birthday and we were all home before 10pm. PJ landed back with friends and started singing and playing the spoons that he had taught himself from the internet.
"Within an hour, something changed and he became very upset. He was inconsolable and wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I remember going outside to talk to him and I coaxed him up to the bed and I sat at the end of it.
"He then bolted up and said he had to go and clear his head. I followed him but saw he was walking up the lane to the farm behind the house. The yard lights were on and I thought his dad was up there with the cattle so I left him for five minutes.
"I then went up and found him in the medicine shed. I remember rubbing my hands on his face and his tears were tripping. I asked him to come back to house and he agreed.
"He walked on so I presumed he was ahead of us but when I got back to the house he wasn't there. I messaged him and he said he was on his way."
But when she heard nothing back, Patrice was filled with dread. "I'd a sick feeling and just knew we would need an ambulance.
She found her son's body and recalled hearing screams, but said: "Then I realised it was actually me screaming."
Emergency services arrived within minutes and PJ was taken to hospital but died on December 31.
As they struggled to come to terms with their grief, devastation was to strike again just 13 weeks later when Patrice's eldest son Mikey took his own life.
Patrice added: "He was 18. I couldn't force him to go to a doctor or get help even though I spoke to him at length about it.
"On the day that he had died, I left to go to the funeral of a family friend who had died by suicide and, as I went out the door, I said 'I love you Mikey'.
"He rolled his eyes at me, laughed and said 'aye!"
Later however, Mikey's concerned friends called the house after being concerned at a message they'd received from him.
Patrice said: "At 11.50pm, my son Conor came running in the back door looking for help after he and friends had found Mikey in the same field where he had been fencing earlier."
Patrice admits that she worries for her other three children who are getting counselling on their grief, adding: "Our house isn't the same anymore. Even the silence is different. Everything is different."
Friends Sandra and Patrick Byrne from local company Eliteform Manufacturing Ltd had the idea to set up SAFE Castlebellingham recently in order to provide a more localised 'on the ground' counselling service for anyone struggling with their mental health.
The concept has received huge support from the community who have offered their help and Sandra hopes that the SAFE model will be replicated by other communities.
"The whole community wanted to do something but we weren't sure what. Other services are fantastic but you need appointments to access the services," she said.
"Suicide doesn't do appointments. We reached out and two counsellors immediately volunteered their time.
"Now we are fundraising for a mobile unit which will move to different villages a few days each week and be on site for anyone who needs to talk.
"Even its presence will create awareness"
Donations can be made on the GoFundMe page Safe Castlebellingham.
