Lauren Goodger has spoken of her heartbreak after her second child Lorena died, revealing she never imagined she'd have to plan her daughter's funeral.
The 35-year-old is in the midst of planning a send off for her daughter, which will take place after the results of the post-mortem.
Lauren has decided on a private funeral with only close friends and family, but is still in disbelief. She told OK! : "I never ever thought I would have to plan a funeral for my child. It shouldn’t happen.
"We are still deciding what we want but I know it will be completely private, small with just close family.”
The TOWIE star said how she "cried the most tears" after she was able to spend 24 hours with Lorena in a special room at the hospital.
"I kissed her all over and all through the night. I didn’t sleep," she recalled.
"I just spent the night looking at her and touching her. I held her hands and her little feet. I spoke to her and told her I loved her and all about Larose.
"I dressed her in a beautiful sleep suit that belonged to Larose. I cried so much that night."
Doctors battled to save Lorena's life, but medics were tragically unable to save the tot.
Lauren, who shares one-year-old daughter Larose with Charles Drury, said she had a healthy pregnancy with no complications.
She explained how she thinks that her oxygen was restricted after Lorena had two knots in her umbilical chord.
However she added that "normal babies can still get enough oxygen" despite the complication.
The reality star said how having an autopsy will help her grieving process.
"They think her oxygen may have been restricted. That is why I am having an autopsy," Lauren explained to The Sun.
"I need to understand how she died for my own sanity."
She has since shared the tragedy on Instagram, telling fans that she is "broken".
"Lorena. 08.07.22. She was the most beautiful healthy baby I've ever seen just like her sister.
"Words can't describe as a mother losing your baby that I carried for all these months perfectly and gave birth too for my angel to be taken from me.
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"There was no pregnancy or labour complications and she was fine & healthy but I am not going into detail right now just know that there was nothing wrong with her or myself she was perfect I can't understand it she is so so beautiful Larose twin so similar."
She added: "I am broken. I am back home from hospital Me & Charlie spent as much time with our baby girl Lorena and I haven't said my goodbye yet...
"I will never ever get over this but I will learn how to live everyday with Lorena in my heart she will be with me always and I will be with her again one day."
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