It’s no secret that family relationships can get complicated, especially when there’s money involved. And there doesn’t even have to be a big inheritance or other assets to fight over to make people fall out; sometimes their spending habits can be enough.
The way she handled her finances became a problem in this redditor’s family, too. After refusing to lend her brother $700 for his car repair, the woman soon found herself having to spend nearly twice the amount on her dog. But her family couldn’t understand why she would spend the money on her dog and not her brother.
Scroll down to find the full story in the OP’s words below, where you will also find more details, which she shared in a recent interview with Bored Panda.
Money is known to work wonders when it comes to straining family relationships
Image credits: Getty Images / envato (not the actual photo)
This woman’s family couldn’t understand why she would spend money on her dog but not lend it to her brother
Image credits: msvyatkovska / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: the_D20_you_melted
Money has the power of straining all sorts of relationships, from romantic ones to those with friends and family
Where there’s money, there’s problems – a truth proven by many disputes, fallouts, and dramas in all sorts of relationships, from couples, to friends, and even family. According to one survey, 34% of people see money as a source of conflict in their romantic relationship. Among friends, 53% have seen a friendship end over money. And as for families, roughly one in five people admit having found themselves in disputes over wealth-related matters with those of their kin.
For the OP, the problems with her family started when her brother asked her to lend him some money. She refused, as at that time, she didn’t have much to spare, which is understandable, bearing in mind that it’s important to be in a good financial position yourself before lending any money to others. However, when her dog’s health unexpectedly deteriorated, the woman saw no other choice but to dip into her savings, which some of her family members found difficult to understand.
“One of the things that annoyed me the most that I haven’t already said is that my brother and father didn’t really seem to care how my dog was doing, or that we were going through a tough time. They just wanted to argue about money,” the OP told Bored Panda during a recent interview. “I was shocked and really disappointed by the entitlement to my resources and apathy towards the well-being of my baby.”
The woman continued to share that in her family, such disputes weren’t a common occurrence, as the family doesn’t have a lot of money to argue about. “I make more than my brother and my father, but not by a lot. I’m just more careful about saving,” she said.
When it comes to lending money to loved ones, it can be difficult to set all emotions aside
If you ever find yourself wondering if you should lend money to a loved one, a good way of checking if you’re in a place to do that is asking yourself if you can afford to never see that money again. Though, delving deeper into the dos and don’ts of lending money to friends and family, NPR suggested that it might be better not to lend money at all – if you don’t have the means, don’t do it, but if you do, it might be better to simply give the money to them without expecting it back.
“As individuals, we are not in the business of lending money. We don’t know how to do it because there are a lot of feelings involved,” Michelle Singletary, author of several books on money management, told NPR. “That’s why it should be left up to financial institutions.”
It’s true that when it comes to helping out friends and family financially, it’s impossible to keep emotions aside. Saying ‘no’ can be followed by feelings of guilt, while saying ‘yes’ when you can’t afford to lose the money you’re lending can lead to anxiety and worrying over when they will give it back; or even worse – what to do if they’re not planning on giving it back.
A survey carried out by Bankrate found that as much as 60% of Americans have helped out a friend or family member by lending money with the expectation of being paid back. Some have helped them out financially by lending their credit card or co-signing for something like a loan or rental. Unfortunately, more than a third of these good-willed people were negatively impacted by lending a helping hand, as their effort resulted in loss of money, damaged credit scores, or harmed relationships.
That just proves that it’s better to give the money to your loved ones in need, if you’re in a position to do so. But when asking yourself if you can afford to not see the money again, you might want to take a financial safety net into consideration, too, before rushing to help others. Be it loss of housing, car repairs, vet bills, or other unexpected expenses, it’s important to have at least some savings set aside for when the times get hard.
After the unexpected visit to the vet, the OP faced not only the financial burden of the bills but a deteriorated relationship with her family as well. She shared with Bored Panda that since the dispute began, not much has changed, other than her going low contact with the family members involved. “I don’t live with either of them, and I’ve been ignoring their messages and calls for now. They haven’t reached out much, and I suspect in their minds they’re doing the same to me.”
But while her family members didn’t express much concern or support over the incident, the woman felt the backing of the online community. “I really appreciate all of the support I got from the community of pet lovers. It has helped me make peace with all this,” she said.
People in the comments sided with the dog owner
One, however, believed that the woman was a jerk in the situation
