It’s no secret that dinner dates are one of the most romantic dates on the date scale. The soft, warm lighting. Multiple glasses of red wine. Tantalising food. The moments where your hands touch. A good dinner date can truly be a magical, incredibly sexy event. But even if you’ve had an evening akin to the build-up scene in a smut novel, having sex after a dinner date never lives up to the expectations.
Whether you’re both too full from pasta, a bit too tipsy from the wine or simply sleepy from all that good chat, I don’t believe that it’s possible to truly live up to your bedroom potential after a big ol’ meal.
That’s why I’d like to share my own, extremely successful solution with you: just fuck before dinner.
Now, there are three main reasons why I adopted this technique. However, before we get into the nitty gritty, I would like to acknowledge that it’s a tad easier to use this method in a relationship. Although, by all means, suggest it to your roster and/or dating app hookups and let me know how you go.
1. Good mood unlocked
It’s no secret that sex — and orgasms — are great for your mood. When you have sex, your body is flooded with endorphins (mood-boosting, stress-reducing hormones), oxytocin (the trusting, loving hormone) and dopamine (the happy hormone).
Sometimes after a long day at work, I find it hard to summon my best, most glittering, charismatic self. Thankfully though, a good root generally does the trick.
2. Hungry hungry hippos
Like with any exercise, having sex before dinner is bound to make you hungry. Why not rock up to a five-star degustation meal — or KFC for all I care — with the appetite of a bear after hibernation?
3. You can truly live up to your potential
I’m useless on a full stomach. I feel sluggish, slow and honestly a bit self-conscious about being bloated in the bedroom. There is a significantly lower chance that I’ll pull out the elite moves with a flourish and extra effort if I’m full and tired.
Before a date, I’ve got enough of a spring in my step. I’m not weighed down. I can bring out the big guns, the stellar moves.
After all, there is a reason to make sure you both leave the sexy experience happy and fulfilled — the night is young and you’re about to go sit across from each other for a few hours.
No one likes the no-cummies resentment, do they?
One tiny caveat
From my point of view, the only downside to this method is that you need to factor in extra time before you wrap up the coitus and head out into the big, bad world.
I’ve got big, curly hair and an excessively sweaty central nervous system so I need at least half an hour to fix the frizz and touch up the make-up.
The solution? Pre-plan to fuck, make the booking an hour later than usual and it’s good as gravy, baby!
I rest my case. Now, you horny little gremlins, go make a booking and head to bone town!!!
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