A hard working dad and devoted husband took his own life after hiding his medication from his wife.
Ray Betts had a "perfect life" before his death last year and owned his own commercial property business. The 50-year-old was described as being "everybody's best mate", and leaves behind wife Andrea, 51, daughter Olivia, 25, son Jay, 17, and Olivia's partner Tom, 26.
Ray's wife Andrea told the ECHO: "It happened completely out of the blue. He had recently had skin cancer removed from his face, which left a scar, and they told him that could come back - so he was worried about that, but that is as far as it got, from what I knew.
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"He was given depression medication by the doctor, I only discovered this medication after what had happened. He was bothered by the scar on his face - one of the side effects of the medication can be suicidal thoughts."
Andrea said that the family life was "perfect" and that they had a "perfect house", with Ray being at the "top of his game" when it came to his business. Being a builder and working in property, the family live in a house that Ray had built.
She added: "He had no money issues, he didn’t have to work, but he loved to - he loved to work. I think Covid - he carried on working right through because he could, being a builder - but I do think the pandemic affected a lot of people's mental health.
"He had never suffered from depression before the skin cancer, there were no signs that he was struggling. He had the best mates - not a single bad word came out of his mouth to anybody, and he could tell me anything at all, we were so close.
"My daughter Olivia had her 25th birthday on Saturday [April 23], and she is devastated, both of the kids are, but they are really strong. I keep strong for them. Saturday was a bit upsetting in the morning, but we turned it around and we had a lovely day."
With the tragic event of his death, Ray's wife Andrea has decided to raise money for the mental health charity Mind. She plans to climb Mt. Snowdon, along with her friends and daughter, to raise the awareness for those who may be struggling.
Andrea, from Crosby said: "I decided to do the walk on July 9 as the one year anniversary is on July 12. I thought that if I do it then it will distract us, raise awareness, and give us something to focus on instead of that day.
The walk up the welsh mountain will be raising money for Mind, who provide advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.
Andrea told the ECHO : "I was out of it for the first five months, I don’t remember it. It had a ripple effect - it has affected all the family and his friends, and to be honest, all of Crosby knew him - everyone was just in shock.
"A friend of mine who was in a similar situation, asked me to come along with her for the walk - and I thought to myself, yes, I will sort my own page to raise money, and also raise awareness for him.
"My daughter Olivia is doing it with me, it is all girls going on the walk. I just thought we had to do something for it, it was the biggest shock of our lives, no one can believe it."
Ray was "everybody's best mate" a person you could go to with any problems if you needed advice. Andrea said: "That wasn’t just us it was everyone, his phone was always ringing with people wanting advice from him, he was well respected, and always there for people."
She told the ECHO : "The day before it happened we went out and had a roast dinner and came home to watch the Italy v England cup final. We had a perfect day, we sat cuddled up with a beer, went to bed, and the next day he just got up and did it - gave me a kiss and left to do it.
"When he didn’t come home for dinner that is when I knew something was wrong. I called him with no answer, and got my son Jay to track his iPhone.
"He told me that he was at the warehouse and that he must have a meeting, but I knew he didn't have one, and I started to panic. I ran into the office and there was a note scribbled, I didn’t even read it."
She added: "I shouted to my neighbour and asked them to take me to the warehouse, it was one of the commercial properties that we own to rent out. That's when I went in and found him.
"There is a stigma attached to it [suicide], I felt a sense of embarrassment, I avoid contact with people who don’t know, I didn’t want to tell them what he did. But this is nothing that he or I have done, it just feels there can be a sense of embarrassment about it, and I hate saying that.
"Kids now are taught in school to be mindful of other people, and their mental health, but we [our generation] didn’t really talk about anything. It is just a massive shock to me."
Before Ray took his own life the couple had recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. Andrea's dad died a month before Ray's suicide, and Ray's mum died two weeks after the tragic event.
Andrea said: "We all have post traumatic stress disorder [PTSD], there is nothing like it. It is still unbelievable, I think to myself everyday - did it actually happen?
"Luckily I have the business, I am running his business now, and it keeps me busy - and so do the kids. I have my own business as well, I just keep myself busy.
"My kids have both had counselling - my counselling is my mum. I speak to her about everything, we are lucky to have a really good support network around us."
She added: "We have a minibus full of girls, we are taking some prosecco in our rucksacks and wear Ray Betts T-shirts. I did a parachute jump not long ago and I should have done it for this, but I can always do more things to help raise awareness and money for charity.
"We are lucky he has left us in a really good position, but I would trade it all in in a second. It goes to show that you can look in and everything looks perfect, but there is something inside your brain that makes you feel that way."
If you wish to support Andrea in her efforts to raise awareness on mental health you can visit the Gofundme page here.
