The parents of a teenager killed in a car crash in western Victoria have pleaded with other youths to "speak up" if they are in danger, after a video uploaded to social media revealed the car was speeding.
Lee-Ann and Matthew Elmes' 15-year-old son Joshua, an Australian Army Cadet, was among four people who died on a remote road at Bochara, near Hamilton in western Victoria, on Saturday.
Their plea comes after a friend of their son showed Mr Elmes a video Joshua had uploaded to social media app Snapchat just before the crash.
The ABC has chosen not to publish the video.
"He's in the back seat of the vehicle filming and asks someone, 'What speed are we doing?'," Mr Elmes said.
"They replied, '130 (km/h)', and he said, 'Sweet'.
"I just think to myself, if only he'd said, 'That's a bit too fast guys, slow down' … maybe this wouldn't have happened."
The grieving parents paid tribute to Joshua on Tuesday on Mornings on ABC Radio Melbourne with Virginia Trioli.
"He was a larrikin, he was a funny kid, he just loved being out with his friends. He loved his brothers and his sisters," Mrs Elmes said.
Mrs Elmes described her son as a "lover of life" and a passionate cadet, and self-taught drummer.
"The biggest thing for him was his friends."
Defence extends support
In a statement on Tuesday afternoon, a Department of Defence spokesperson confirmed two individuals killed in the crash were members of an Australian Army Cadet unit.
It is understood another teenage crash victim, Lucus Garzoli, was a part of the same Hamilton unit as Joshua.
"The accident was not part of any Australian Army Cadet activity," the spokesperson said.
"Their Cadet Unit is being provided with support from Defence. Our thoughts are with their loved ones at this time."
Parents urge others to 'speak up'
Mr Elmes said prior to the crash he was concerned for the safety of his son on the road, and had warned him not to get in cars with people driving erratically.
Mr Elmes encouraged other young people to speak up if they are in a car where dangerous activities are happening.
"It might prevent something like this from happening again," he said.
In a statement, a Victoria Police spokesperson said that any vision involving the crash would form part of the investigations.
Mr Elmes said Joshua had ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) and was "sometimes impulsive, wanted an adrenaline rush".
"He was on medication … and we noticed it was wearing off in the evenings … we were still sorting out the medication," he said.
Mr Elmes said that just days before the crash he had spoken to his son about risky behaviour during a school drop-off, after Joshua showed him a video of a friend doing doughnuts while he was in the car.
"I shared two examples of people who have made wrong choices in the past and it's impacted the rest of their lives, because of erratic behaviour and not speaking up.
"He said, 'I'm not that stupid Dad' … but the Snapchat video suggested something else, because he didn't speak up."
No hatred or unforgiveness
Early investigations into the crash suggest the car involved in the crash was travelling well in excess of 100km/h and several of the deceased were believed to not be wearing seatbelts.
While the Elmes family would not comment on the specifics of the investigations, Mrs Elmes said they "harbour no hatred" towards the people in the car or who may or may not have been driving.
"We're not going to be holding anything against anyone. It's not going to bring anyone back. It can't bring our son back. It can't bring the other three back.
"We're distressed, but I'm not going to put on top of that, hatred and unforgiveness."
Mrs Elmes urged other parents to hug their children and tell them you love them "no matter what".
"They say that losing a child is a mother and father's worst nightmare, and I can definitely tell you it is. Nothing compares to it."
Community counselling underway
Southern Grampians Shire Council will be offering the community support at the Hamilton Performing Arts Centre for the rest of this week.
Qualified staff from youth service organisations, Brophy and Headspace, will be on-site to offer counselling services and mental health resources.
"We encourage anyone who needs someone to talk to, to please come in and chat," council said in a statement posted to social media.
In the wake of the quadruple fatal, an expert in the field of adolescent grief is urging those impacted to seek support.
Michelle Roberts, the director of the Australian Child and Adolescent Trauma, Loss, and Grief Network at the Australian National University, has previously worked in the field of disasters and critical incidents affecting schools.
"It's like pebbles being cast into a pond and the ripples continue on to the edges," Ms Roberts said.
"The idea of the coming days and weeks and what to expect, I think, is something that we really need to start psychologically preparing for."
She encouraged parents, guardians, and friends to monitor loved ones for how they are processing the shock and loss.
"Use that watchful waiting … know what your kid is usually like, and look for the big changes — expect some changes because they're dealing with life and death here, and making sense of it."
Editor's note 30/05/2023: An earlier published version of this story contained the Snapchat video, which the ABC has now chosen to remove.
